


The Sevasey Loft

by RainbowTrout1998



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Anaphylaxis, Anxiety, Appendicitis, Fluff, Gay, Headaches & Migraines, Hospitals, Love, Multi, One Shot Collection, Pain, So fluffy you're gonna die, Weddings, all the feels, all the things, bros, hurt!Casey, hurt!Severide, like really really fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2019-11-14 22:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 49,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18060983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowTrout1998/pseuds/RainbowTrout1998
Summary: The day-to-day lives of Severide and Casey.Just random one-shots and drabbles.





	1. Fluffy Blanket

Usually, shopping wouldn’t be something Casey enjoyed. He found the entire process draining and boring. Plus, he didn’t see much point in spending money on unnecessary stuff. Even on his Captains salary, he had never got used to buying new things, preferring to make do with what was already in the house. There was nothing wrong with having old stuff, if it was still functional.

But Severide made the whole experience almost enjoyable. They’d not been dating long, but every moment spent by his side was exhilarating. He knew he was happier than he’d ever been before, though that didn’t mean every moment was easy. They had their arguments – two bullheaded and somewhat broken men could find things to argue over. And being officers in the same house probably didn’t help, though they usually managed to ‘sort out’ their differences between the blankets and had found it easier to deal with arguments on calls than when they had only been friends. Work was work and home was home.

They were walking through TK Maxx – Casey didn’t remember why, something Severide said about needing new towels? – when Casey happened on it by accident. They had been walking down one of the aisles, Severide chatting away, when Casey’s arm brushed something – and it was so soft he stopped.

Severide had taken a few more steps ahead before he realised Casey was no longer with him and he turned back – seeing his boy standing by a crate like a stunned mullet.

“Matty?”

Casey didn’t respond. Suddenly, for a reason he couldn’t explain, he had tears in his eyes. The softness had felt like Kelly’s touch, comforting, loving. He looked down, seeing a box of soft, fluffy blankets.

“Matt, you okay?”

Severide had stepped closer to him, one hand brushing his. Casey frowned up at him, before nodding absently.

Kelly looked down at the crate, seeing a collection of fluffy blankets, all rolled up with a cardboard label around them. Casey’s fingers were absently stroking the pink one nearest him, which was hanging out slightly.

“It’s the softest thing I’ve ever felt…”

Kelly’s heart leapt into his mouth. Every now and again, Casey would say something – usually completely out of the blue – that reminded him of how tough his childhood had been. It was such an abstract thing – Casey touching a blanket and saying it was soft – but it reiterated that Casey had never had what other kids did. Not just meaning a soft safety blanket – but it meant he hadn’t had a soft teddy, pillow, or anything to play with.

He knew his own childhood had been far from perfect, but he’d still had two parents for most of it and had always had toys. He’d never been deprived in the sense Casey had.

But right now, Casey was tearing up, and tracks were making their way down his face. Severide looked at him, unsure how to react.

He stepped forwards, reaching in and selecting out a grey one that would look good with their couch, “Case? We’ll get one, one on the couch is getting old…”

But Casey didn’t respond, and Severide realised he was too far gone. His hand was still absently stroking the pink blanket, and Severide looked at the one in his hand.

Fuck it, he thought.

Kelly tore the cardboard wrapping off, the store be damned, and threw the blanket over Casey’s shoulders. He wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly through the blanket, and rubbed his arms up and down Casey’s back, muttering sweet nothings into his ear.

Casey responded by moving towards Kelly and burying his face in his shoulder. He felt Kelly’s hand come to the bare skin on his neck, gently rubbing in soothing circles.

A couple of sobs made their way out of Casey’s throat, and Severide glared at the few shoppers who had stopped to stare. He rocked Casey slowly, hoping that his boyfriend would calm down.

Casey resisted the urge to laugh at the situation. He was a Captain in the CFD, had received the medal of honor. And he was standing in the middle of a TK Maxx, tears running down his face like a baby, while his boyfriend hugged him to comfort him, with a fluffy blanket over his shoulders.

He could practically see his father rolling in his grave.

That pushed him over the edge and made him snort with laughter, which made Severide frown at him in concern.

“You alright, baby?”

Casey nodded, wiping at his eyes, “M’sorry…”

“What did I say about saying sorry, baby? You don’t need to.”

Casey nodded, overwhelmed with love as he went in for another hug. While Severide didn’t know exactly what was going through Casey’s mind, he could fathom a good guess. He’d comforted him through enough nightmares to know how his boyfriend’s mind worked.

Slowly but surely, Casey brought himself back into control, wiping his eyes. Severide kept one arm on him, lovingly rubbing it.

Casey sniffed, before taking the blanket off and dropping it back into the crate.

“Huh? Case, we’re buying that.”

Casey wiped the tears from his eyes, offering Severide what was intended to be a brave smile, “Don’t be silly, Kel.”

But Kelly shook his head, grabbing the blanket and flinging it into their trolley, shaking his head, “Naw, Casey. I told you. It will look good on the couch.”

But Casey shook his head, “Kelly, I don’t need a blankie…”

“I’m not saying you do, Case. But you like it. I like it. It’s soft.”

Casey stared at the blanket for a moment, longing in his eyes. Severide gently put a hand on his shoulder, “If it makes you feel better, we can put it away when someone comes over… or put it on the bed.”

Casey didn’t respond, but Kelly could see he’d won. He reached forwards, grabbing it pooling it back into Matt’s arms. Casey subconsciously stroked it, but his attention was still on the crate.

And the pink blanket.

Without waiting another moment, Kelly reached out and grabbed it, flinging it into the basket as well. Casey frowned, “Sev… the grey one is fine… and open…”

Severide frowned at him, mocking, “Maybe I want one too and happen to like pink, Casey.”

Casey just smiled back at him, overwhelmed with love for this man. His eyes flooded with tears again as he looked at Severide.

“Thanks, Kel…”

Kelly leant forwards and kissed his nose, before reaching over and rubbing his arm, taking it and leading him further into the store.

And Matt remained beside him, fluffy blanket comfortable against his arms, as they finished up with the shopping.


	2. Chicago River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey takes a dip in the Chicago River... 
> 
> But not is all as it seems.

The call the day before had been hectic, and Casey had ended up taking a dip in the Chicago river. The river wasn’t known for its cleanliness – nor it’s warmth – and as soon as Casey had been pulled out and cleared from hypothermia, wrapped in one of the warm blankets from the ambo, Chief had ordered him back to the house. Casey usually wouldn’t agree to leave a scene early, but he was of no use as his body violently trembled. Kidd had kept talking to him as they had ridden back to the house in the Chief’s car and had stood outside the showers to make sure Casey didn’t collapse.

But since, Casey had warmed up and even gone back to shift. He was fine, but Severide still kept a weary eye on him. The rest of shift had passed without incident, and Severide had been relieved when Casey had woken the next morning healthy.

They made their way back to the loft. Even though Casey was claiming he was fine, Severide knew from experience that the freezing cold shock meant Casey was probably sore. And he was moving somewhat rigidly as they finished up breakfast. So, Kelly declared that it would be a TV day and kicked his feet up on the table.

They ate junk throughout the day, and once dinner came Casey claimed he wasn’t really hungry. Severide lightly teased him for not eating his dinner, but they only smiled before saying good night to each other.

* * *

Severide rose before Casey the next morning. While that was unusual – as Casey got up annoying early most mornings – Severide wasn’t worried.

Severide was halfway through eating breakfast when he heard a creak down the hall, he turned, seeing Casey, posture slightly hunched to one side. Severide frowned, and put his head to the side, “Casey, are you okay?”

He shrugged, wincing as it jolted him, “Think I’m sick.”

Severide’s concern grew, Casey didn’t admit he was sick; “Yeah, you don’t sound good, bud.”

Casey nodded, “Spent the last few hours throwing up. Stomach hurts.”

Despite his overwhelming concern, Casey looked so miserable Severide had to try _something_ to cheer him up, “Well, that’s what you get for drinking half the Chicago river.”

Casey snorted back, but the slight movement caused him pain, and he closed his eyes and moaned. Severide was on his feet immediately, moving towards his brother, “You okay?”

Casey nodded, pinched expression on his face, “I might go and lie down for a bit, if that’s okay, Sev.”

Severide found himself gaping at his brother. Casey didn’t admit to pain. And Casey _definitely_ didn’t admit to needing a break. He found himself nodding, “Yeah, of course, bud. Need anything?”

Casey shook his head, readjusting his hand over his abdomen. He started to turn away, preparing to shuffle back down the hall, but Severide’s voice stopped him.

“Yell if you need anything.”

Casey shot him a grateful smile back, before again starting his slow shuffle towards his bedroom.  

Once Casey had got back, he crawled under the covers and tried to find a position that didn’t cause him even more pain. There weren’t many, but he eventually found one leaning to his right side. He sighed. He hated being out of commission and hated being sick. While he knew Severide wasn’t judging him, it was still hard to be vulnerable in front of his brother.

A shudder ran through him, and Casey groaned as he pulled the covers tighter around himself. A fever wasn’t what he needed right now. Another shudder ran through him and he tried to close his eyes, focusing on his breathing as he was lulled to sleep.

* * *

“Casey. Casey?”

Casey groaned, moving away from Severide’s invading hand. His stomach was in agony, and he certainly didn’t want to be touched. He could feel the sweat coating his brow, making him feel sticky and cold in all the wrong places.

Severide’s hand had returned, nudging him.

“Fuck off, Severide.”

Kelly let out a breath of relief, Casey had been largely non-responsive for almost five minutes. Casey felt something cool touch him, resting against his brow, he let out a slight groan.

“I know, buddy, I know… your fever spiked. You’re fine, but probably not comfortable.”

Casey tried rolling away again but had to muffle a cry of pain as something in his stomach twisted. He closed his eyes in agony, feeling the sweat dripping down his neck, trying to control the nausea that was still settled in the pit of his stomach.

“Casey, maybe we should go to the hospital? Who knows what’s in the Chicago river – “

Casey didn’t get a chance to respond, before he was dry heaving down the side of his bed. Nothing aside from some bitter, acidic bile came up, and Casey could only whimper as he felt Severide’s hand on his back. He moaned as he rolled backwards, feeling Severide return the cloth to his head.

“Casey? I think I need to call an ambulance…”

But Casey shook his head, “No ambulance…”

He could hear the anxiety in Severide’s tone as he tried again, “Case, we don’t know what you’ve picked up…”

“They won’t be able to help, Sev, please…”

Severide stilled, then Casey could feel him nodding, “Okay… just have another sip of water, or you’re getting an IV…”

Casey groaned but allowed Severide to hold the cup to his lips. His eyes closed again after that, frowning with the constant pain in his stomach.

He wasn’t even aware of Severide pushing his hair of his sweaty brow, rubbing soothing circles. He was asleep again before he could process any of it.

* * *

Casey woke up screaming.

The pain in his stomach had reached unbearable levels, and he was completely unaware as Severide tried to comfort him.

He cried out when he was moved onto the gurney, and a mask was fixed over his face. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen.

He was unaware as Severide squeezed his hands, trying to offer comfort. He was unaware as the medics declared him unstable. He was unaware as he was rushed into Med, and straight into surgery.

He was unaware of Halstead’s concerned face as he passed out on the table.

* * *

Severide had been sitting by Casey’s side for the last two hours, hoping that he would wake up.

Casey’s appendix had burst. It had had nothing to do with the Chicago river, or rather, it was unlikely to be a result of the Chicago River, they didn’t truly know what had caused it. The point was Casey didn’t have some stupid stomach bug. He had something so obvious that both he and Severide had missed it – and now Casey was paying the price.

His appendix had burst before the ambulance had even been called, and infectious puss had flooded his abdominal cavity. They’d had to open Casey up and wash his internals with an antiseptic wash. He had already been loaded with antibiotics, as there was evidence of peritonitis and he was at a high risk for septicemia. They were loading him with painkillers as well, if Casey made his way back to the conscious world any time soon, he would be in agony.

The rest of 51 had already stopped by, had waited until Casey was out of surgery. As far as Severide knew, some were still down there, eager for an update once Casey woke. But he wasn’t planning on allowing them to see Casey any time soon.

Casey looked like hell, and he knew that the last thing the stoic truck captain would want is his men gawking at him while he was drugged to oblivion. Severide knew he was probably adverse enough to his being there, but he wasn’t going to let Casey wake up alone. He would never leave his little brother.

Another hour passed, nurses coming by to check Casey’s vitals every few minutes, before Casey showed any signs of waking. First his nose twitched, aggravated by the mask feeding him oxygen, and then he moaned. Severide leant over him, holding his hand and gently squeezing. Casey squeezed back, letting out a groan, but then he stilled. Severide continued to stroke his forehead, waiting patiently for Casey to wake.

Casey’s eyes were unfocussed as he took in the white ceiling, wincing at the brightness. His entire body was hurting, not easing up, and he it took all he had to not cry out.

He didn’t process that the beeping sound to his right had sped up, but he did process the warm hand on top of his head.

Severide was looking at his brother in concern. He’d woken stressed, but that was to be expected. He’d be disorientated and in pain.

“Case, you’re at Med. Your appendix burst. You’re okay.”

Casey was reeling at the information Severide had given him. He blinked, turning slightly, “Sev?”

Severide smiled, “Yeah, you’re okay, bud.”

Casey’s eyes remained open as his heart settled into a slower, more regular pattern. Severide kept one hand on him, making sure he was comfortable.

“Wha’… happ’n?”

“You’re at Med. Your appendix burst. You’re okay.” Severide repeated patiently.

“Mmmmm….”

Casey’s eyes drooped, and Severide softly leant down.

“You had me worried, buddy…”

But Casey’s eyes had already drifted shut.

* * *

For the next 24-hours, Casey was in and out of consciousness, mostly in the state he had been when he first woke up with Severide. After visiting hours, they’d forced Kelly out of the room, but he remained in the hallway, stating that Casey would get agitated without him there.

Sure enough, the next time Casey woke he was screaming, and they had to sedate him as he thrashed on the bed. Severide was quickly reinstated. He kept a hand on Casey’s head, falling asleep beside him in the early hours of the morning.

* * *

This time, Casey was awake before Severide. Now that the anesthetic had completely worn off, and Casey’s fever had lessened, he was more aware. He was also in pain, but his sheer stubbornness meant he was eager to get up and walking. The sooner the catheter was out, the better, and the sooner he could leave.

Severide dragged his eyes open to see Casey propped up in the bed, pale, tired, in pain but awake. He smiled at him, and Casey grinned back.

“You know, I’m the one who just had major surgery.”

Casey’s voice was croaky, so Severide glanced at the sign beside his bed – stating no solids, but liquids were fine – and quickly held the cup with a straw to his lips. Casey drunk gratefully, the cool of the water soothing the pain in his throat from the intubation.

“Yeah, you look it.”

Casey snorted, then winced, “Ugh, don’t make me laugh, Sev.”

Severide chuckled back, setting the cup back on the bedside and looking back to Casey, “How are you feeling?”

Casey went to shrug, thought the better of it and made a gesture with his head, “Eh, they tore some organs out and hosed them down… hurts…”

Severide nodded, knowing the pain was bad if Casey admitted it. He glanced down to the PCA pump, Casey followed his gaze and shook his head, “Maxed it out. But I’m okay, Sev.”

Slowly, Kelly nodded. Casey told him that he would be moved from the ICU after breakfast, assuming he managed to eat a little Severide was surprised he’d slept through the nurses checking him over (“Well, you were snoring, Kel”) but was glad he’d come out of it mostly unscathed – it could have been a lot worse.

They’d been making conversation about nothing in particular, when Casey frowned, “Aren’t you meant to be on shift today?”

Grinning, “Trying to get rid of me already?”

“No. But it is Wednesday, right?”

Severide nodded. The reality was Casey could still rapidly decline and would probably be in varying degrees of lucidity for the rest of the day. Severide preferred to stay by his side, “Thought I’d hang out here with you, keep you out of trouble. Hawks game?”

Casey vocalised his approval, leaning back into the mattress. Severide turned the TV on, locating the match. For the rest of the day, Severide sat by Casey’s side as he drifted in and out of sleep and did not suffer one more nightmare. At one point, Casey’s men dropped by to see him, and somehow Casey maintained an aurora of ‘perfectly fine’ for the whole visit.

By the time visiting hours were over, Severide knew Casey would be fine for the night. He promised to bring clothes for Casey the next day – even though he wasn’t about to be discharged, he could wear something other than the flimsy gown – and watched Casey drop back off into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try to update this bi-weekly. I have quite a few ready/on the go, but will also try to respond to prompts!


	3. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little short one today! More adorable Sevarsey fluff.

Boden had picked up on the first ring, gruff voice coming down the phone. It was early, Severide knew, but he wanted to give Boden as much time to get replacements as possible – he didn’t want to risk the chief making him come in without Casey.

“Chief? Sorry. I think both of us are out for the shift… Casey’s sick, high fever, puking his guts out… I’ve been up all night with him. Think it’s a just twenty-four-hour bug but it’s barely been twelve… and well, he’s sleeping now. He thinks he’d be fine, but Casey’s Casey and I think I should keep an eye on him.”

He cut himself off, aware he’d been babbling too long. Had he sounded too desperate? Had he made Boden suspicious? Would he question why he was staying with Casey?

But he was presently surprised when Boden sent his confirmation down the line, “Alright, Severide. I don’t think I need to remind you how severe this flu season has been. Make sure Casey gets the care he needs to come back strong.”

Severide breathed a sigh of relief, thanking Boden before clicking off. He made his way back to the bedroom that he and Casey had been sharing for a year, smiling at the blonde, who was stretched out on his back, hands comfortably behind his head.

“I still feel uncomfortable lying to the Chief, and I wasn’t even the one who did it.”

Severide shrugged, walking over to Casey and straddling him, leaning down to kiss his perfect lips, “Well, I don’t think ‘Casey and I have been dating for a year and want to spend the entire day having sex’ would have cut it.”

Casey smirked, leaning up to kiss Kelly again, “Probably not… although, I think I’m ready to talk to the firehouse…”

The beam Kelly gave him was worth it – pure happiness, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Kelly leant down and kissed Casey again, deepening it as Casey slipped his hand up his shirt and felt his perfectly toned body.

“I love you.”


	4. Migraine

Severide opened the door of his apartment, cluttering around as he dropped his bag and kicked off his shoes. He was surprised to see it empty – he had seen Casey’s pickup outside and guessed he was home. Unless the guy was in his bedroom – which would be strange given the time of day – he must have gone for a run.

“Casey?”

No response. Definitely on a run, he mused. He had been slightly irritable for the last few days, and Severide had been eager to give him a wide berth. He had no idea of the reason behind the blonde’s mood, though had seen him downing a couple of painkillers, so maybe he was concealing some small injury – it wouldn’t be the first time.

But if he was injured, why was he running?

Shrugging off the question, he continued to clutter around the apartment, making himself coffee before he was about to sit down in front of the TV when he heard a strange groan.

_Huh? I’m home alone._

Severide listened again, about to give up when he heard it again – it was coming from Casey’s bedroom.

Frowning, he opened the door and was surprised to see him curled up on top of the sheets, face buried into his arm.

Dumbly, Severide opened his mouth, “Casey?”

Matt whimpered, tensing, and for the first time Severide realised there was a white hand towel behind his head.

_Oh._

Suddenly the past few days made sense. Casey’s irritability, the painkillers he’d ben taking had been the prodrome, no wonder he’d been struggling. Severide quietly approached, now able to see a small section of Casey’s face, which was creased in pain.

“Migraine?”

Casey groaned again – something Severide took to be affirmation – and his entire body tensed as a spike of pain shot through his head. Severide knew that Casey still had after effects from his head injury. While the aphasia was now extremely rare – and thankfully adrenaline seemed to mask it, so Casey never suffered from it on calls – he knew the migraines were one of the most long-lasting and severe repercussions.

Severide lowered his voice again, leaning down to Casey, “You take your meds?”

Casey let out a noise of confirmation, head hurting too much to nod, and gestured towards his dresser. Severide looked, only then noticing Casey’s prescription. He nodded silently – although he knew Casey couldn’t see – and leant down again.

“Alright, bud. Hang on.”

As softly as he could – because he knew how sensitive Casey was to sound right now – he moved towards the blinds, shutting them as tightly as possible and gently moving a few books to block out the rest of the light. Any sound or light cancellation would help Casey, something Severide wanted to do.

He made his way back to Casey, lightly tugging the washer from under his head (which was warm now) and quietly leaving the room. Telling Casey that he was coming back wouldn’t benefit the blonde in anyway, it would only offer himself peace of mind.

He crossed to the freezer, getting out a gel ice pack and wrapping it in the damp towel. Then he jogged into his own bedroom and into the en suite – dropping to his knees and digging to the back of the cupboard, finding the lavender oil Kidd had left.

He made his way back to Casey’s room, seeing that Casey hadn’t moved at all. He bent down next to him, gently removing the blonde’s arm from his face. Casey flinched, squinting up at Severide in annoyance.

“Sorry, Case. Just a sec.”

Casey winced, about to bury his head in the pillow when he felt Severide gently tapping his forehead, and his nose was graced with a sweet smell. He frowned, slitting his eyes open and stared questioningly at Severide.

“Lavender oil, it should help.”

Resisting the urge to scoff – because it really did hurt too much – Casey just closed his eyes again. Before he got the chance to move his arm across his face, Severide was gently securing the ice pack over his forehead and eyes.

Casey moaned in relief, and Severide grinned, “Good, bud?”

Casey murmured something in the positive, shifting so he was more comfortable. But despite the measures Severide had taken, he could see Casey was still in agony. Gently, he shifted so he had access to Casey’s shoulders, and carefully pressed his fingers into the muscle joining Casey’s shoulders and his neck. They were like rocks, beyond tense, and while Severide knew it wasn’t causing his brother’s pain it was certainly a contributing factor.

Casey moaned his approval and shifted slightly so Severide had better access. Glad he seemed to be helping Casey, Severide continued the motion until he noticed a change in Casey’s breathing – he was no longer letting out pained gasps and it had become deeper and more even.

His relief was short-lived, though, because suddenly Casey’s breathing hitched and heaved, and Casey was pulling himself to the edge of the bed.

He hung his head over, pulling the waste basket he’d already placed strategically next to his bed under his mouth as he heaved, letting out heartbreaking whimpers as it aggravated the pain in his head. Kelly moved quickly to support him, one hand lightly holding his forehead, the other on the back of his neck as Matt wretched and gagged into the basket, brought on by sheer agony.

When he was done, Casey leant heavily into Severide’s hand, panting. The basket was almost empty – Severide realised Casey had probably been sick before or hadn’t eaten for a while – and tears were running down Casey’s face. Weakly, he started to move back, so Severide carefully eased him back onto the pillows and put the ice pack back over his eyes once again.

Casey let out a pitiful whine, and his hand searched the covers. Kelly didn’t realise what Casey was looking for, until he brushed Kelly’s leg and clutched at it.

Kelly wasn’t surprised. Part of human nature was companionship – safety in numbers. Casey was hurting, unable to look after himself and Severide knew he would be finding great comfort in his presence. They taught it at the academy, and a victims sats would often improve once they felt secure. It was more than a desire, it was a need, and one Kelly was more than happy to provide. He also knew how much it meant for Casey to be trusting him so completely – something that was hard to get form him – and he felt honoured to be that person.

He took Casey’s hand. Weakly, Casey squeezed, and Kelly squeezed back, _I’m here for you._

And he stayed with his younger brother for the rest of the day, holding Casey as he retched, massaging his shoulders to help alleviate the pain and feeding him small sips of water to prevent dehydration. He maintained a constant eye on Casey’s expression, trying to read how much agony his brother was in. Midnight had passed before Casey’s expression finally, _finally_ , relaxed a little and Severide knew the absolute worst was finally over. Casey snuffled, exhausted, and rolled into Severide, who secured an arm around his shoulders and waited for his little brother to fall asleep.

Only when he was sure Casey wouldn’t wake up again, Severide allowed his own eyes to close and dropped off to dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> Look... I never said Casey whump wasn't going to be over-represented in this.


	5. Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tbh, think I died a little writing this... 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it :)

Severide slammed his head back into the pillows and sighed. Casey had just left, thank God, and he tried to breathe through his anger. It wasn’t as though he could get up and pace it out, his ribs and hip painfully reminding him that even his earlier movement had been a bad idea, and it really was infuriating.

This wasn’t how he wanted to be spending the night before his wedding. He wanted to be in bed with Casey – they’d both agreed to forego at stag night – and just lay with his boy. They’d had everything planned so perfectly – right down to the finest detail – and had agreed on everything. He’d already held Casey as he cried when Nancy told him she wouldn’t be there, and Casey had done the same with the realization that Benny couldn’t be there. There had been no arguing – something Severide knew meant they were perfect for each other – and they had both been so happy, so excited.

Then he had to go and get injured.

It had been a warehouse fire, and Severide hadn’t been quick enough before the floor caved beneath him. He’d been buried in rubble as Casey raced to get him out, but the damage to his pelvis and ribs had already been done. He was going to make a full recovery, there was no doubt about that, but he’d already ruined their wedding.

He’d been kept in the hospital for over two weeks – something that wasn’t helping his mood – and although at first, he’d continued looking over their plans, adjusting so they could accommodate his injured frame, but he’d eventually realised that they’d have to call the wedding off. His injuries were still too severe to leave hospital.

Matt had been supportive – of course he had – but Kelly knew that it wasn’t what either of them wanted.

Matt had been sitting with him earlier, as he had every moment he wasn’t on shift, but Kelly needed the time alone, to get over his own betrayal. Casey had argued at first, asserting he didn’t mind about the wedding and loved Severide as much as ever, but Kelly had yelled at him and called the nurses.

Casey had left before more of a fuss could be made.

Since then, Severide had closed his eyes and tried to sleep, accepting a sedative when he hadn’t had any success two hours later. He’d apologise and make it up to Casey tomorrow, but for now he was too tired to think.

* * *

Casey had a huge beam on his face as he looked over Cindy’s work. He hugged her tightly, murmuring his thanks, before packing it into the duffel bag. The bag was already full, and Casey zipped it closed as he prepared to go to the hospital.

Herrmann stepped out and embraced him as well, congratulating him and telling him they were all proud, all had his backs. Casey teared up a little at his surrogate father’s words, drowning out the hateful ones of his biological father. Casey collected himself, before jumping in his pick-up and driving towards the hospital.

As soon as he got there, he went about his usual mission of finding Severide’s doctor and getting his update. He wasn’t surprised about Severide asking for a sedative, he’d hated to leave Kelly in that mood but he’d known there was no alternative.

Opening the door quietly, he looked at the sight of his beautiful boy lying in the bed. He could never get over the pang of emotion that came with seeing him so beat up, but he knew that Severide would recover.

Kelly wasn’t looking at him, opting to stare out the window, which gave Casey a chance to drop his bag beside the bed without Kelly seeing. Gently, he leant down and kissed him on the forehead, Severide not responding aside from his eyes tearing up.

“I’m sorry.”

Casey shushed him, sitting beside him and stroking his hair back. He loved Severide’s grey hair, loved the way it felt against his hands. Though, it was getting to the point it really needed a wash, he knew how much Severide hated to be dirty.

Then he felt Kelly pause under his hand, could see the frown on his features.

“You’re wearing dress blues?”

Casey nodded, smiling softly. He wanted Kelly to think about it, before coming right out and telling him. He wanted to see his boy’s reaction, the light in his eyes.

After all, he’d had two weeks to fantasize about it.

“Is there something on today?”

Kelly knew there wasn’t, it was their wedding day, after all, if the CFD was holding some event there was no way Casey had planned on going, and he was pretty sure there wasn’t anyway.

Casey smiled as he shook his head.

“So why are you wearing your blues?”

Casey felt his heart swell in his chest, and he couldn’t wait any longer, “Well, if I’m getting married to you, I think I need to look the part.”

Kelly’s expression morphed into one of shock, then one of awe, excitement. He looked up at Casey, “What do you…?”

Casey smiled, “It happens that this place has everything we need to get married – and it helps that we already had plans.”

Severide could feel his heart speeding up, overwhelmed with love. He leant up to kiss Casey, and Matt dropped his head immediately, deepening the kiss. Kelly had tears in his eyes as he looked at Casey, “How did you…?”

Casey smiled, “I’ve had two weeks to change the plans… and you helped. I couldn’t do everything on your lists… but some of it… your signatures also gave all the legal consent you needed to be moved from this room for a couple of hours.”

Severide went silent again, tears in his eyes. He didn’t miss the moment Casey’s anxiety stirred, “Unless you want to wai – “

“No, Casey, it’s perfect.”

Matt relaxed, leaning down to kiss Kelly again. He picked up the bag, opening it to reveal Kelly’s dress pants which now (thanks to Cindy Herrmann) had neat cuts and cleverly hidden buttons down the sides to accommodate Kelly’s casts and braces. Everything else was neatly ironed, and Casey dragged forwards the wheelchair that Brett and Foster had spent the last night bedazzling.

Severide laughed – even as he had tears in his eyes from the pain of putting his pants on – and Casey held his hand the entire time.  

Once Kelly was looking a bit more presentable – which didn’t take much, Kelly was always damn perfect in his opinion – Casey started pushing the chair down to the hospital’s reception room. He knew Kelly would much rather be walking, but even with his physical therapy going as well as it was that was still a short while off.

Once they got there, Severide was happy to see the faces of his entire 51 family. His mum was standing near Boden, and he could see Christie and Violet sitting together. A sprinkle of firefighters from other houses were there, including Kannell. And finally, most of the ER doctors and nurses had dropped by. It was most of their guest list – they’d only wanted a small wedding anyway – and it was cramped in the small hospital reception room.

But he was too overjoyed to think about it.

As with the stag party, they had forgone most of the basic wedding traditions. No one was walking down the aisle (not that there was an aisle) and there wasn’t all that much in the way of speeches or a ceremony. But it was perfect and everything both of them wanted. Casey had tears running down his face as Severide said his vows, and it was all Kelly could do not to leap up and hug Matt as he said his. Matt had somehow made leaning over Kelly’s wheelchair perfect as he kissed him, and there was not a dry eye in the audience.

Matt and Kelly remained together, Casey sitting next to Kelly and not dropping physical contact for a second. Their brothers moved through to congratulate them, and for the first time Casey felt truly accepted by a family.

Violet and Christie also came forwards, and Severide was glad that Casey seemed less anxious about them being there. Casey would always have some anxiety when it came to his sexuality, especially when it came to someone from his past, but Severide knew he could always get through to him in the end.

Jennifer had been proud of her son, and hugged Casey tightly. She told Kelly that Benny would have been proud, something that brought tears to his eyes and made Casey lean in to softly wipe them away.

Severide was getting tired and had been away from his morphine drip for some time. Casey knew he didn’t want to leave, but he also didn’t want his husband to be in pain, and he knew that once Severide had _truly_ metabolized the drugs, the pain would be a rude disturbance to his otherwise perfect night. Gently, he started moving Severide around the room, saying their goodbyes and thanks.

Once Kelly was back in bed – hooked up to the medications and only just realizing how bad the pain had gotten – Matt gently sat down next to him, lovingly running his hands up and down Severide’s arms. Severide turned to him, smiling sloppily.

“I love you, Case.”

He smiled, leaning in and kissing Kelly on the forehead, “I love you too, Kel.”

Severide was fading towards sleep, but he stubbornly kept his eyes open. Knowing that his boyfriend would be exhausted – this was by far the most movement he’d done since getting injured – Matt leant in and kissed him again, “Go to sleep, Kel. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Kelly blinked slowly, indicating that he was already part way there, and looked up at Casey once again, “Want to be with you…”

Casey smiled and leant down further, gently putting an arm over Severide’s chest, “I’m right here, Kel, not going anywhere.”

“Lie with me…”

Looking over Kelly’s lines, Casey knew it wouldn’t be practical. He was so badly injured and didn’t want to accidently hurt Severide. But the pleading look Kelly was giving him melted his heart.

“You’re injured, Kel… don’t want to hurt you.”

“S’alright… not in pain…”

Matt smiled, knowing that it wasn’t the full truth, but the drugs they were giving Severide were strong. His weight wouldn’t make much of a difference, and Kelly’s doctor had already stated that as long as he was careful, he wasn’t likely to hurt Kelly.

He paused, thinking it through. Severide was still giving him the pleading look, and Casey smiled, “Don’t want to damage your arse…”

Kelly smiled softly, “My arse is fine… just bruised…”

Casey grinned, “I happen to love your arse, it’s perfect…”

Kelly blinked and his eyes stayed closed for a moment, Casey thinking he had dropped off, but then they opened, “My arse will be fine… if you just lie with me…”

Not able to hold off any longer, Matt grinned, “Alright. But only if you promise to get some rest…”

Kelly nodded, and gently, Casey put one of his legs up on the bed, placing his torso (softly) against Kelly. One leg remained on the ground, taking the bulk of his weight so he didn’t injure Kelly further, and Kelly grinned contently and leaned into Casey.

Matt waited until his husband was asleep before sitting back in the chair, keeping one arm gently around Kelly and leaning his head against the pillow. Kelly still had a smile on his lips, and in that moment Casey swore that he would do everything possible to keep it there.  


	6. Broken Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Casey fluffiness :)

“M’good, Sev. It’s okay… hardly hurts…”

Casey was lying in bed, leaning against the headboard, eyes half closed. It would be a normal picture, if it weren’t for the two plastered arms propped up on the pillows by his sides. Severide was fussing over him, carefully securing ice packs around the two casts and making sure he was comfortable. He knew Casey probably wasn’t lying, it probably didn’t hurt, not with the painkillers he was on.

Casey’s eyes were almost shut as he slurred, “Sev… Kel… s’okay. The casts will protect them…”

The sight of his boyfriend so injured was hard, but Severide couldn’t help but look at him adoringly, “You still need surgery to pin it…”

Casey grinned sloppily, “I know… I was there… it’ll be fine…”

Casey’s right arm was far worse off than his left. His left had escaped with a few minor fractures to his wrist, a short, thin cast protecting it. His right, though, was in heavy plaster. They needed to pin it, so his long cast was just temporary. Somehow, he’d managed to make a mess of his forearm, upper arm and elbow as well. The immobility to his elbow would complicate his recovery, so even after his bones had mended he’d be attending physical therapy for some time. They weren’t worried about him returning to duty, but he would still be out for a while.

“I know, Case. But I’m allowed to worry about you.”

Casey blearily glanced up at him, grinning softly, “Don’ want you to be worried… I’ll be fine.”

He smiled down at his boyfriend, aware that the coming months would be challenging. Casey was very independent and would be out of commission. He wouldn’t be able to do much with two casts, and Severide had no doubt that he’d be on the receiving end of some of Casey’s frustration. But he’d do it for his boy.

Seeing Casey fall had been one of the scariest moments in his life. He’d hardly been able to breathe as Casey had lain face down on the concrete and had probably (in hindsight) been more aggressive than he needed to be with the paramedics. His right arm had clearly been broken, the bend easy to see, and Casey had been out of it on the ride to the hospital.

Once he was there, Severide had paced until they decided he was upsetting other patients and had let him into Casey’s room against hospital regulations. Casey had been asleep, whatever drugs they had given him knocking him out, but Severide just wanted to see his boy breathing.

When they’d reduced Casey’s arms, the heartbreaking cries that escaped his lips made Kelly want to bundle him in his arms and never let go. He’d given Casey as much gas as possible – which sent Casey back into oblivion – and had done his best to soothe him.

They’d released him not long after – he had no medical need to stay in the hospital, and after monitoring his reaction to a prescription painkiller, had decided that he was best off at home. Severide had tenderly walked him into the house, grinning at Casey’s drugged observations on the state of their kitchen, and had softly set up the bed so it would be the most comfortable for him.

Severide was brought out of his reverie as Casey shifted, glancing up and slurring, “Besides, Sev. ‘was worth it…”

Severide raised an eyebrow, incredulous, “You didn’t save the cat, Case.”

Moaning, Casey shifted in the sheets, “Did… yeah, saved her…”

Severide wasn’t sure if it was the very mild concussion he had, or if he was just tired. Technically, Casey _had_ saved the cat – he’d stopped it falling but hadn’t actually got it down. Either way, Casey looked half asleep and adorable and Severide didn’t want to burst his bubble.

He moved a hand to Casey’s head, stroking his short blonde hair, “Alright, Case…”

Casey leant into the section Severide was stroking, humming contentedly, “S’all alright, Kel… nothing to worry about…”

Severide allowed himself a sad smile, “You’ll be in a cast for months – “

“Only four weeks for the left… right… eight weeks, Kel… gonna go insane not being able to work…”

Severide smiled down at him, kissing his forehead, “Well, if you hadn’t decided to rescue that cat… off-duty, without a harness – ”

“The cat was miaowing… she was cute… and fluffy… wanted to touch her…”

Severide resisted the urge to chuckle. Even with him, there was no way Casey would let the inner child out without the help of drugs.

“Yeah?”

Casey nodded, looking at Severide so seriously he knew Casey wasn’t making it up, this was how he really felt, “Love fluffy things…”

Severide’s chest swelled with love, “She was a cute cat, Case.”

Frowning slightly, “I never had a pet…”

Severide stilled, he didn’t want to think of Casey’s childhood. Even though Casey tried to be unaffected by all the crap he’d gone through – and for the most part, managed – but Severide hated the pain he’d been through. Casey would usually be the one to reassure him, but Severide tried to make up for it where he could.

“Okay, Case. We’ll get a cat.”

Casey opened one eye, “Cat?”

Severide laughed, knowing Casey would have no memory of the conversation the next day, “Yeah, Case. We’ll go to the pound tomorrow.”

Casey grinned, “Always wanted… a cat…”

“What kind of cat?”

Casey frowned, and Severide could see he was almost asleep.

“Uh… cute one… reminds me of you…”

Kelly’s heart warmed, and he smiled down at Casey. The blonde’s eyes were slipping closed, and Severide knew he’d remember nothing of this conversation, but Kelly knew one thing for sure.

As soon as Casey was better, he was getting him a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is being life, so Hold On might not get an update until this weekend... should be on track after that, and will stay on track for this one.


	7. Nightmare

Night was settling over 51, and the mood in the house was subdued. There hadn’t been a particularly nasty call, but around midday they had been called out to a suspected gas leak. Whoever had called it a gas leak had clearly never smelt rotting meat, because as soon as the companies pulled up and entered the apartment blocks, they already knew what it was.

The man had silver hair. He didn’t look all that much like Benny Severide – although, with the decomposition it was hard to tell – but it didn’t take their secret relationship for Casey to know it had shaken Kelly.

The rest of 51 must have noticed too, because as Brett and Foster loaded him up, concerned glances were been thrown the Squad Lieutenants way. Severide had ignored them, of course, throwing himself into overhaul.

Because naturally, Severide didn’t want to talk.

Casey had tried to corner him once they returned to the house, but Severide had only lashed out and sent him away. It was Casey’s doing that their relationship was still a secret, while Severide sympathised with his reasons – Casey’s childhood meant he still struggled with his sexuality and might always do – he wasn’t above using it against him when he was hurting. Casey would never hold it against him, he knew he’d put Severide in a hard position, and he knew Severide could take it personally if he was in a bad place, so he tried to return the same understanding that he’d offered him.

So, Casey sighed and returned to his own quarters. Sometimes Kelly just needed to process things for himself, just needed time. It still hurt, to think his boyfriend couldn’t trust him.

_But how often do you do the same thing, Casey?_

Either way, Severide had drawn his blinds – which he rarely did – and was clearly actively avoiding everyone as they all got to bed. Casey resisted the urge to knock again, worried that it would end in a screaming match once they got home. Instead, he sent Severide a message – _I’m sorry. I’m here if you need me. Love you._ – and climbed into his own bed.

The whole house had only just fallen asleep when the Squad Lieutenant’s desperate screams woke them. Casey was already out of bed, flinging his office door open as he made his way into Severide’s.

Severide was barely awake, crying out apologies and for Benny to wake up. Casey felt his heart clench, Severide’s pain was evident across his features.

Quickly, Casey was leaning over Severide, shaking him and pulling him into a seated position and forwards onto his shoulder. Severide had stopped yelling, dissolving into sobs as he clutched at Casey. Casey carefully rocked him, telling him that he loved him, that he was sorry, that it was okay.

Severide continued to cry, desperate and heartbreaking, and Casey had tears in his own eyes as he tried to sooth him.

Much to the shock of 51.

Slowly, Severide stopped crying, but Casey didn’t let go. They talked, about the call, about Benny. Casey had heard it all before – Severide blaming himself, he’d thought Benny had stood him up that night, but he was actually lying on the floor of his room, dying and alone. Probably in pain.

Casey didn’t have much else to say other than tell Kelly that he hadn’t known – if he’d known, of course he would have gone to his father.

Slowly but surely, Severide relaxed, and Casey eased him back, so they could see each other. It was pretty clear, at this point, that they were more than just friends, but Severide just looked up at Casey with his tear-streaked face.

“Sorry… thanks, Matt… you can go back…”

His voice was croaky, wrecked from the tears. But Casey shook his head, “I’m staying with you. I’m sorry, you were right…”

Severide shook his head, shushing Casey. Softly, Casey leant in and kissed Severide, tenderly stroking his head.

“Budge over, Sev.”

Without protesting, Severide moved over, allowing the truck captain to crawl in with him. Casey gently placed a kiss to the back of his head, wrapping his arms around Severide and pulling him in. Severide closed his eyes, leaning back into Casey’s strong grasp.

Needless to say, the two officers had the best sleep they had in a while.


	8. Twisted Ankle

Severide had just got out of the shower when the landline rung. He’d been meaning to disconnect it, in honesty, he knew very few people who still used it – really, only some of his dad’s old friends, and even they had started to get the message that it mostly went unanswered.

He groaned and yelled out, “Casey, can you get that?”

But the phone continued ringing. He would have thought Casey would have answered it by now, anyway. Huffing, Severide poked his head out of the bathroom, “Casey?”

The apartment was obviously empty. Severide frowned. The blonde had gone for a run, but he had expected him to be back by now. They were going to spend the night out on the town, having nothing better to do now they were both single. Casey had been slowly but surely catching up to Severide’s alcohol consumption and had been enjoying their nights out more and more. He’d even picked the bar for that night – some up and coming on the other side of town.

The phone started ringing again, and Severide picked it up. He didn’t manage to get any words out before Casey’s voice cut down the line, “Kelly?”

Immediately, Severide’s heart sunk. Casey sounded as though he was in pain and desperate. What had happened to him? He didn’t need to be a first responder to think of a hundred bad things that could happen in Chicago. And Casey had made enemies over his time.

“Shit, Matt, you okay?”

Casey took in a breath, and Severide could tell it was pained, “Yeah, I’m good. Just tripped over… I think I sprained my ankle, Kelly. I’m sorry… can you pick me up?”

Severide almost let out a laugh in relief, “You sprained an ankle? Yeah, I can come… where are you?”

Casey rattled off one of the quieter jogging paths in Chicago, telling Kelly he was only a couple hundred meters down. He’d been on his way back when he’d fallen. He told Kelly he’d send his location to his mobile – which Severide only just realised Casey had been calling for the better part of ten minutes, with a stab of guilt – and Severide quickly finished getting dressed, grabbing some aspirin as he ran out the door.

It didn’t take him long to reach the location and Severide jumped out, racing down the track to find his brother. It truly was credit to Chicago that no one had already stopped to help – although, Severide guessed it was one of the quieter tracks, maybe no one had come down.

Casey was propped up against a tree, leg out in front of him. He had already taken his runner off, leaving the sock covering his toes. He was only wearing his workout gear – a t-shirt and vest with a hood, and Severide could see him shivering slightly. He looked embarrassed – and tired – and looked up at Severide as he came closer.

Perhaps Casey was expecting Severide to laugh at him, because he almost seemed defensive as he knelt down. But Severide only checked Casey over – he seemed worse for wear, much worse than Severide had understood on the phone. But this was Casey, he tended to downplay his symptoms.

He had scraped all down one forearm, still oozing blood, although slowly. His hand was in a similar shape, his palm torn open. There was a slight scrape on his cheek, though not major and his calf and knee both had cuts on them, nasty looking, but again nothing to worry about.

But Casey’s ankle was worse than he’d imagined. Completely swollen and purple. He could see the bruising was still intensifying, the skin tightening as it continued to swell. It looked as though it was at a slight angle, but with the swelling it was hard to tell.

Severide shook his head, “Case, that looks broken.”

Casey moaned, shaking his head, “It can’t be broken… it’s just a sprain.”

Severide rolled his eyes, at his brother, at himself for believing him. Casey had no self-preservation, he should have known that he would try to understate it or be so in denial that he couldn’t see the obvious.

“Can you put any weight on it?”

Casey’s jaw tightened, and he shook his head. Severide nodded, “So it’s probably broken.”

Casey moaned again, and a shudder burst through him. Severide cursed himself, shrugging off his jacket and hanging it over Casey’s shoulders.

“Matt, we should be calling an ambulance…”

Casey shook his head again, “No. Please, Sev… I’m alright. Just need help getting back up…”

Casey was suddenly leaning forwards, trying to pull himself to his knees. He let out a cry of pain as he jostled his ankle, closing his eyes tightly and slumping back.

Kelly gave him a moment to gather himself, before gently putting a hand on his shoulder, “Casey, think we should – “

“Please, no ambulance.”

Severide sighed, letting out a friendly huff, “You’re killing me here, Casey.”

Casey gave a strained chuckle, and Severide was at least thankful that Casey was trying. He pulled out the aspirin, handing Casey three, “Here, we’ll wait until these kick in…”

Casey eagerly downed them – and Severide cursed himself again for not bringing water – but shook his head, “S’gonna hurt either way, Sev.”

Sighing, Kelly realised he was right. Aspirin probably wouldn’t even take the edge off, let alone mask Casey’s pain enough for him to move. Momentarily, the lieutenant was tempted to just call an ambulance then and there and be done with it but knew he shouldn’t betray Casey’s trust like that. 

“Alright, do you think hopping is the best? Or maybe crawling…?”

Casey’s glare was enough to silence him.

“Alright, but the jerking is going to hurt like a bitch…”

Casey just shot him another glare, he didn’t need to be told. Slowly, Severide moved to support Casey, directing him so they could stand. Once Casey was standing on one foot – with an obvious grimace of pain on his features – Severide moved an arm around his waist, apologizing as he lifted Casey’s scraped up arm to wrap around his shoulders.

They started hopping up the path and hadn’t gone far before both were covered in sweat. Pained grunts kept leaving Casey’s lips, and Severide resisted the urge to comfort him.

They had covered maybe a quarter of the track before Casey wavered. Severide turned to look at him and could see how pale the blonde had gone. Carefully, he lowered them back to the path.

“No… C’mon, Sev. Keep going…”

But Kelly shook his head, “You’re gonna faint, Case. Then it’s not going to help either of us.”

Casey was panting, dropping his head as he accepted it. Severide waited by his side until some colour had returned to his cheeks and Casey looked back up.

“Got blood on your shirt…”

Severide glanced to his shoulder, seeing the spots of blood dotting it where Casey had rested his arm. He shrugged, much more concerned that Casey was still bleeding than about needing a new shirt, “Doesn’t matter, Case. Ready for round two?”

Matt nodded, and again the squad lieutenant lifted him, and they made their way back up the path. Severide had given up hoping someone else would come and help them, and they had to take a few more breaks before reaching Severide’s car.

Kelly helped Matt into the mustang, easing him gently into the seat and putting a hand over his head so he didn’t hit it. Casey sighed in relief, dropping his head back as he tried to catch his breath and control the pain. He was almost grey, aside from the flush on his forehead and cheeks. Severide resisted the urge to wipe the sweat away.

Kelly jumped in the driver’s seat, turning on the engine as he started to drive towards Med. He glanced over to Casey and took in his pale complexion, “Aspirin isn’t helping, is it?”

Casey slightly shook his head, still focused on breathing through the pain. Severide sighed, refocusing on the road. Only when they were pulling into Med’s emergency car park, did Casey realise where Severide had taken him.

“No, home is fine, Severide…”

Kelly rolled his eyes and shook his head, “You’re getting x-rays and proper meds.”

Casey didn’t try to protest any further – a sure sign he was feeling really bad – and only waited as Severide parked and got him a wheelchair.

Maggie must have recognised the name, because Casey was sped through emergency perhaps quicker than he should have been. His arm was treated and bandaged, and his ankle was propped up and an ice pack wrapped around it as they waited for an x-ray to become available. Despite Casey’s protests, he had been given a small dose of morphine that had left him drowsy and leaning back in the bed.  

Groggily, Casey turned to Severide, “You go out… don’t need to stay.”

Severide only smiled, “And miss the chance to see you high on narcotics? I don’t think so, bud.”

Matt smirked, defenses down, and his eyes drifted half shut. Choi came back, stating it was time to take some x-rays, and that Casey would be given another dose of morphine as they were going to be moving his ankle around. Surprisingly, Casey didn’t protest, even as April dropped a mask in Severide’s hands and gestured to where Casey’s – low – sats were displayed on the monitor.

“Alright, c’mon, buddy, breathe…”

He gently held the mask over Casey’s face, but understood why they had wanted him holding it, rather than just putting it straight on him. As they moved his ankle, Casey yelled out despite the drugs, shifting anxiously to get away from Severide. But the doctors were professionals and continued with their placement to cause Casey as little pain as possible.

Severide remained seated over him as the scans revealed Casey had indeed broken his ankle and the bone was displaced. Fortunately, they were able to move it back in place without the need for surgery, and Casey was left to rest on the bed as he was fitted with a temporary cast. He was half-asleep with the mask covering him, one hand entwined in Severide’s collar, and Kelly wasn’t about to rouse him.

Casey had to wait for the stronger drugs to wear off before they could send him home, so Severide took the chance to look at him. He was still slumped in the bed, head hanging to the side and mouth hanging open. Severide smiled at his vulnerable state, taking a tissue and gently wiping the saliva that was dribbling out down the side of the oxygen mask.

Casey stirred, glancing up at Severide with tired eyes, “Kell… still here?”

Severide nodded, “Wasn’t going to leave you, bud.”

Casey grinned, eyes glazed over, “You’re a good friend…”

Kelly chuckled, gently putting one hand on Casey’s shoulder, “You are too, Case.”

But Matt frowned, shifting so he was holding his head up, trying to look at Severide, “I can be an arse…”

This time, Severide let out a bark of laughter, bemused at Casey’s honesty. But Casey’s frown deepened, and Kelly realised the truck captain was being serious.

“That’s okay, I can be an arse as well, Matt.”

Casey’s head dropped back to the pillow, whether from relief or exhaustion Severide wasn’t sure. But then Casey murmured something else that Severide couldn’t quite catch.

“Sorry, buddy?”

Casey repeated himself, Severide understanding something about letting him move in. He shrugged, “You took me in as well, Case. Besides, I like having you around.”

Matt blinked, eyes glazing once again as he lost his train of thought. Gently, Severide reached down and squeezed his shoulder, hoping that Matt would sleep off the last of the narcotics. But as he drifted into sleep, Severide understood a mumbled sentence.

“Love you, Kel…”

Smiling, Severide patted him on the shoulder, keeping close contact with his brother, “Love you too, Case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll start updating on Saturdays AEST :)


	9. Easter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wasn’t planning on writing an Easter fic, but make way for it! I love the idea of Severide giving Casey the experiences he missed as a child, and Easter would be one of them… one of the more fun ones! Written in a day so probably haven't vetted out Aussie spelling/wording nor any typos. 
> 
> They’re in a relationship in this one.

For once, second shift didn’t have duty on Easter Sunday. The day itself was hardly as bad as Halloween, but the moment it was a public holiday, there was bound to be drunks on the road. And drunks caused accidents. But they were all honestly just happy to have the day off – Hermann especially, his kids usually had to put up with him not being home.

And Kelly Severide was excited for something else. The previous year, they had attended a call where a child had got stuck in a piece of play equipment. No one got hurt – or was too traumatized, the girl who got stuck was nine and thought it was hilarious – and Hermann had even laughed with the parents about how it had happened. They had been having an egg hunt, when the nine-year-old had seen one between two bits of play equipment and had dived in to get it. She had been able to fit but hadn’t thought about how to get out. Once she was out unscathed, the parents had seen the funny side too.

Severide had made his way back over to Casey, who was packing up the truck and keeping to himself. He’d said something standard about the rescue, trying to get a read on Casey’s emotions, and Casey had murmured something in response.

And he knew him well enough that Casey was trying to hide his upset.

The truck guys had come over, so Severide waited until they got back to the house and he’d been able to corner Casey in his office – at this point, they’d only been dating a month and had decided to keep it under wraps – and Casey had admitted the sight of the parents and kids together had upset him. He admitted he’d never had an egg hunt – his mum hadn’t trusted the neighbourhood enough to hide them outside, and his father refused to have the chocolate hidden inside where it could melt – and when a five-year-old Matt had questioned it, it had resulted in an argument that resulted in his dad telling him the bunny wasn’t real. To Severide, it was clear Casey was re-living the argument, and he gently hugged Casey from behind.

Casey had leant back into his hold, before sniffing and claiming he was fine. And he had been, for the rest of shift, but Severide could see that his boy was still upset.

They got home the next day, and Severide bought eggs for them to snack on. Casey seemed to have moved past his sadness, and Severide didn’t want to bring it up again.

But then the hype for Easter had popped up again, and Severide worked out that they wouldn’t have shift.

And that gave him a great idea.

They had shift the day before, which meant Casey would be out of the house for twenty-four hours, and Severide had a plan.

He’d cleared it with Boden first – a call to come in just for Squad at a fake address. Severide would then take the rig to the store, load up on Easter eggs, then they’d hide them around his and Casey’s place. It was the perfect plan, and he knew his squad guys would be more than supportive. Everyone had been so accepting when they’d come out almost a year ago, and they would do anything for their officers.

And now, Casey was opening their front door, completely ignorant of what was to come.

He’d walked right past the first egg, and Severide had just grinned and followed. There were a few big ones on the kitchen bench that Casey wouldn’t miss, because they’d been hard to hide. Sure enough, Casey had stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the gold eggs with wide eyes. Then he’d let out a chuckle, and smiled, “What?”

Severide grinned, “Looks like the Easter Bunny came.”

Casey turned to him in awe. Kelly knew he didn’t think an actual magic bunny had come, but this was magic to him in it’s own form, “You… ?”

“Think it was a magical bunny. But yeah, there’s eggs to hunt.”

Casey laughed again, and hiding the eggs was instantly worth it, for the light in his eyes alone. Severide pulled out a basket, handing it to his boy and telling him to start the hunt.

At first, Casey only looked around, timidly taking the eggs nearest him and dropping them in the basket. He’d walked past the eggs Severide had hidden in the vase, and then past the ones on the light fitting, “Casey, for someone who walks into burning buildings with zero degrees of visibility, you’re really bad at finding eggs.”

Casey frowned and looked around him, laughing as he saw the ones on the light. He climbed up and got them, dropping them into the basket, “You seriously gave me an egg hunt?”

Severide nodded, “Now find the damn eggs, Matt, or I’m going to be eating them faster than you can find them.”

The truck captain was still looking at him in awe, before launching himself at Severide and tightening his arms around him, “When…?”

Severide shrugged, “The _Easter Bunny_ came while we were on shift.”

“That squad call?”

Kelly rolled his eyes, “Yeah.”

Casey pulled back, staring at him in shock, “You got the squad guys to hide eggs around our house?”

Severide shrugged again, “Yeah.”

Casey continued to stare at him in wonderment, then his eyes filled with tears. He pulled Severide in again, unable to help it as the tears started sliding out his eyes and onto Severide’s shoulder, “Thank you…”

Kelly had to fight tears of his own as he rubbed Casey’s back, “I’ll do it every year if it makes you happy, Case.”

Matt tightened his hold, head resting on Severide’s shoulder as he melted into his embrace.

* * *

“Is this all of them?”

They were looking at the basket, which was piled high with a variety of chocolate eggs. In honesty, Kelly wasn’t sure. He hadn’t hidden all the eggs, which had been interesting and involved him actually joining into the hunt (he was so getting squad to help him hide them again next year). He had an idea of how many he’d bought, but it was hard to say if this was all of them.

“I think so? That’s all the ones I know, anyway…”

* * *

Casey ripped open the box of pasta – though it felt suspiciously easy to tear – and tipped it into the saucepan of boiling water without looking. He heard a strange splash and looked down.

There, already melting and mixing into the water, was an egg.

Casey laughed out loud, calling Severide to come and look. Severide had been lining up Netflix and turned back to Casey. He took one look in the pan and rolled his eyes.

“Fucking Capp.”

* * *

Severide and Casey had been the latest ones to fall victim to the cold that had been going around fifty-one. They had both felt off the previous day, and today it was hitting them both with full-force. Casey had won the argument of who was least sick and should get up (well, he’d pinned Severide down and thrown himself out of bed. Severide had tried to drag him back to it to get up instead but had been caught in a coughing fit and Casey had run to the bathroom) and he was reaching into the medicine cabinet when he knocked the peroxide bottle.

And an egg rolled out.

He smiled, and carried it back to Severide, flinging it at him full pelt. Severide had seen it and laughed, and they’d each eaten half of it to wash the medicine down.

* * *

They had a couple of Christmas-themed pillows in the cupboard that only came out during the holiday season. Casey had put them out earlier and was now curled up with a blanket around his shoulders. Severide moved to sit next to him, and Casey enjoyed the feeling of his boyfriend so close.

It wasn’t until Casey needed to use the bathroom and stood did Severide see it and made the joke about Casey having already gone. Casey frowned, and looked to where he had been sitting, seeing a patch of brown. His immediate reaction was panic – there was no way he’d shat his pants. But Severide was laughing and pulling apart the pillow he’d been sitting on, revealing the wrapper of a very melted Easter egg. Casey had started laughing, watching Severide with all the love in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honesty, any other places you think that they find eggs would be much appreciated XD I'm sure they're everywhere (and anything weird is Capp. Obviously.)


	10. You Can't Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off the promo pics for 7x21, but written before the spoiler video came out, so not how Casey actually gets injured. 
> 
> AU in that Sev and Casey are in a relationship.

_Truck 81. Ambulance 61. Electric fire…_

A fire at a laundromat.  

Casey and the rest of truck had rolled their eyes as it came over the klaxon, and Squad had teased them as they made their way to the rig. Laundromats were a hotspot for electrical fires, as they were rarely up-to-date with their electrical work and were a massive drain on power. Electrical fires meant one thing – kill the power, in and out, then open the water cannons. No one thought much as the truck pulled up – fire already blazing – and Casey jumped out. According to the frazzled manager, everyone had also evacuated the building.

They made quick work of killing the power and were doing a sweep before the second truck had even arrived on the scene. Casey had directed Kidd to be with him, and Otis and Mouch were together. They were just about to leave when Casey heard a groan come from overhead, and he dived out of the way just as a beam came crashing down.

But he wasn’t lucky enough to escape some of the smaller debris.

Including something blazing with heat hitting the side of his neck.

His helmet had protected the side of his head, and the mask had protected his face, but the burn-resistant black cloth of his hood wasn’t able to protect his sensitive skin, and Casey yelled out as his hand shot to his side.

“Captain!”

He felt Kidd hitting the side of his neck, patting out the flames he had just became aware of. He winced, groaning slightly at the sparks of pain it sent through him, but he nodded in gratitude as he tried to blink away his tears. She was scrutinizing his side, hand still on him, so he nodded and grabbed her arm.

“Kidd!”

He pulled her again, tugging her towards the exit. She nodded, holding onto him as he stumbled slightly. They made their way out, Stella still keeping an eye on him, but Casey seemed stable enough as he left the blaze.

They broke out into the daylight, blinking rapidly as their eyes adjusted. Stella tugged her mask off, gasping in fresh air, before looking back to Casey and catching his sharp wince as he tugged on his mask. He let go, moving to find a better way to take it off, but only wincing again as the mask tugged at the black fabric that was now burnt into his flesh.

Stella looked on in concern, not really sure what to say until she heard Casey mention her name, “You okay?”

She nodded, surprised that Casey was asking her that question when he was so clearly hurt himself. She looked at the damage on his turnout coat, the shoulder burnt and singed, and saw how his hood had melted into his flesh. He still seemed to be running on adrenaline, eyes wild as he took in Kidd’s appearance. She nodded again for measure, “You okay?”

She saw the slight wince as he nodded, adrenaline fading and becoming more aware of his pain. But there was only a moment before the building flashed over, and they both spun back to it as the windows shattered.

Casey glanced back to her, eyes wide. It didn’t take an experienced firefighter to know that it wasn’t just an electrical fire.

“Captain!”

Casey spun around to see Mouch and Otis approaching him, both with the same concerned expressions on their faced.

“I could smell accelerant, Captain.”

Casey nodded again, and Stella didn’t miss his slight wince. Otis stopped dead in his tracks, looking at Casey’s neck in shock. The truck captain was the only one still wearing a mask, which wasn’t missed by Boden as he approached. Before Casey was able to say anything about arson, Stella pointed to his neck, “Casey’s hurt.”

Boden nodded, not giving Casey a chance to say anything, “Ambo now, Captain.”

Casey went to protest, but no one missed his gasp of pain as he jerked his neck. Boden waved Brett over, and she shook her head as Casey went to tug at his mask, “Casey, we’ll get it. Come on.”

He grunted, falling into step beside Sylvie as she led him over to the ambulance, “Gonna get the buckles…”

She rolled her eyes, “I know. We’ll get it, Captain.”

He refused to sit on the gurney – earning another eyeroll from Brett – and dumped himself down on the back of the ambo. She undid the buckles, easing his mask off and smiling as he gasped in the fresh Chicago air. She left the hood, conscious that they’d need to cut it away. Casey thanked Foster as she removed the heavy SCBA gear from his back.

He then went to stand up again, but Brett put a hand on his shoulder, “Hell no, Captain. We need to cut away that fabric…”

Casey winced, “Can’t you just leave it until later?”

Brett just blinked. The only reason she wasn’t panicking at the sight of Casey’s flesh was _because_ she was a paramedic. Foster had also stopped beside her, and they shared a brief look before snorting, “ _Firefighters.”_

She pushed him back down, and Casey groaned as his knees collapsed and he allowed himself to drop back down. He was still letting out pained breaths, and Sylvie held up a vial of morphine.

“Painkillers, Casey?”

He shook his head, murmuring that he was fine. He wanted to get back to duty as soon as his burn was cleaned, and the need for morphine would no doubt put an end to it. He couldn’t have anything stronger than codeine on duty, and he didn’t want Boden rotating him off.

Both paramedics rolled their eyes again, but Brett winced in sympathy as she pulled at the cloth lightly. Casey had his hands clenched in his lap, digging his nails in to stop himself from gasping. The paramedic duo made quick work of cutting away the cloth, and Brett winced again as she took in his skin. The worst areas were third-degree, blackened and no doubt painful, and blisters had already formed. His burn was in no way life-threatening – nor was it anything that would take him off rotation – but they still felt sorry for their captain.

Boden had now been hovering around for a few minutes, watching his truck captain pressing his hands into his legs and trying not to show weakness. Sylvie glanced over to him as Foster kept removing fibers from Casey’s flesh, “Chief, this needs to be cleaned.”

Boden nodded, “Go.”

Casey stood this time, shaking his head, “Chief, I’m good – it’s arson – “

But Boden shook his head, “Go and get that cleaned, Captain. I can handle overhaul.”

Casey looked as though he was about to protest again, so Boden glared at him, “That’s a third degree burn, Casey. You’re going to Med. Brett and Foster can give you a ride back when you’re done.”

Brett nodded, moving beside Casey and putting a hand on his left shoulder, directing towards the ambulance, “C’mon, Casey. Ride with us.”

Casey wanted to protest further, but he knew he wouldn’t get anywhere. It needed to be cleaned, and he could feel the fibers of fabric sticking to it. He knew it wouldn’t be pleasant to clean, and at least at Med they would at least have the proper sterile equipment. Casey held back another wince as Brett pushed him, before falling into step beside her.

* * *

Severide was leaning back in his chair when Truck pulled in, and he watched as the doors opened and everyone bounced out.

But no Casey.

Severide craned his neck to see if the Captain was still in his seat, but he could see he wasn’t. Frantically, he looked to Kidd, “Where’s Casey?”

Kidd glanced back, “Burnt his neck. He went to Med to get it checked.”

Severide nodded, already on his feet, “He okay?”

Stella nodded, “Looked like it hurt, but he was fine.”

He nodded, seeing Boden pull up in the battalion car.

“Chief?”

Boden turned around. He knew about Casey and Severide, and he was happy for them, but he would never allow any personal relationships to get in the way of his house – something he had been clear about from the get-go, “Wasn’t electrical. Looking at arson. Accelerant fell on Casey.”

Severide nodded, looking back to where everyone was filling into the common room.

“I need to get on the phone to arson. Brett and Foster are bringing Casey home.”

Severide nodded and tried to find relief in the fact Casey was uninjured enough that they weren’t waiting at the hospital for him. Boden stalked back into the firehouse, and Severide was left to his thoughts.

* * *

Since he had sat down, Casey had managed to conceal his winces as Choi had cleared away the soot and ash. But now he was tugging at the threads imbedded in Casey’s flesh, and Matt couldn’t help the grunt that escaped his lips.

“You know you don’t get points for being tough, Captain.”

Casey rolled his eyes, “No. But I do get to go back to shift.”

Ethan got it. Being an ex-navy medic, he had seen plenty of men desperately trying to act tough, many with far more severe injuries than Casey. Realistically, codeine wouldn’t even touch it, so the truck Captain would have to rely on the cooling and numbing agent that he was spraying on his neck.

“Alright, Casey. But if you change your mind…”

Casey nodded, and Ethan resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Casey clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palm. By the time he was finished, he realised Casey was biting his cheek to stop from making any noise, and his entire face was covered in sweat. But he allowed the truck Captain his dignity as he patched it up and clapped him on the shoulder.

“You’re good to go, Casey.”

Casey thanked him, not immediately standing. Choi busied himself packing away the equipment, allowing Casey time to fight the pain, before nodding to Sylvie who had started hovering in front of the bay.

“Casey?”

He glanced up and nodded – wincing – and pushed himself off the gurney.

* * *

Severide was still sitting at the squad table – trying not to act too worried – when ambo rolled in. He could see his Matt sitting between Brett and Foster, smiling and speaking. He immediately felt himself relax, his boy was _okay_ , but it didn’t stop the regret that he hadn’t been with him, or that Casey was probably still in pain.

Before Casey could get out, though, the bells went.

_Ambo 61, Truck 81, Squad 3, Engine 51._

Severide groaned as he saw Casey jump out of the ambo and make his way to the truck. He got the time to flash him a smile, and it was _almost_ enough to reassure Severide. The patch on the side of his neck wasn’t too big, and Casey seemed animated enough as his truck guys clapped him on the shoulder and welcomed him back from med.

Severide only even realised that squad was waiting for him when truck was pulling out. He and Casey had promised Boden from the start that their relationship wouldn’t be an issue, so he sucked in a breath and suited up.

* * *

It had only been an extremely minor stove fire, but as it was in a large church, all companies had to respond. Fortunately for 51, another company had got there earlier and was therefore in charge of the scene… and overhaul. Boden had been quick to load them up and roll out before any overhaul jobs could be assigned.

Severide had opened the radios on the rig, just needing to hear Casey’s voice. Matt had seemed cheery enough, but he still couldn’t say what he wanted. Not with everyone listening.

Squad managed to catch the traffic on the way back, so truck was already settled in the common room. Severide glanced around, realised Casey must be in his office, and beelined to it.

He didn’t knock – he didn’t need to – and quickly closed the door behind him. Casey had already drawn his blinds, and Severide turned to get a good look at him.

He sighed in relief at the sight. Casey was smiling at him, grin from ear to ear. Slowly, he stood, and moved forwards so Kelly was wrapped in his arms. Severide reciprocated, but he wanted nothing more than to make sure that Casey was okay.

Casey knew what was going through his boyfriend’s mind. He knew enough about Kelly and his fears to know that he’d thought of the worst. He did his best to give him a reassuring smile, but he could see the worry etched into his boyfriend’s eyes.

He felt Severide’s hands hover beside the bandage and knew that Kelly needed to see to reassure himself. Trying to hide the pain, he tilted his head away, giving Severide access. Tenderly, so much that it almost didn’t hurt, Kelly peeled away the tape and looked at the wound.

It didn’t look pleasant, and he winced at the sight of the big blisters. There were only a few very small patches of third-degree, small enough that Severide knew it wouldn’t have any issue healing. He could also see where strands of Casey’s gear had been pulled out, carefully removed by a doctor. It was nasty, but by no means serious. Still, Severide hated to see his boy singed.

As carefully as he took it off, Severide re-secured the dressing and once he was done, dropped his hands back to his sides. Casey turned back, quickly trying to get a read on Severide’s emotions, “See, Sev? It’s fine.”

Kelly nodded, “Does it hurt?”

It was a dumb question, Severide knew it would. But Casey still shook his head gingerly, “Not really. Just a bit. They gave me some spray at Med.”

He motioned to where the can sat on his desk, and Severide nodded, “I should have put some on just then…”

“It’s fine, Kel. Honestly, not too bad.”

Severide nodded reluctantly. Slowly, Casey wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, and Severide reciprocated, burying his face against Casey’s good shoulder, “Sorry.”

Casey hummed, turning to press a kiss against Kelly’s ear. Severide sighed, “You’re not allowed to get hurt.”

Casey could only hum again. He knew the feeling. He’d been in Severide’s place more times than he cared to count and knew they’d each be in each other’s positions again. Casey would be in pain for a few days, but the burn would heal, and it would just be a memory.  


	11. Sylvie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 7x21, but AU for 7x22 (sort of). 
> 
> Severide gives Casey a word of advice about Sylvie.

“Case, quit being manly and let me help you with that.”

Casey froze, blinking at Severide’s reflection in the mirror. He’d been changing the bandage on the side of his neck. Tearing the old bandage off had been one thing – though he’d been too rough and pulled at the freshly-healing skin – but now he had the challenge of washing it out with anti-septic and not getting it on his clothes, and he had to admit, it was going to be harder than he thought. He’d been prepared to give up and just tip the wash down the side of his neck when Severide had shown up.

“Huh?”

Kelly rolled his eyes and stepped into the bathroom, “Let me do that. Unless you want to be wearing it?”

Casey glanced down at the bottle in his hand, then back up at Severide, slowly, he handed it over. Kelly motioned for him to reveal his neck to him, and with a slight roll of his eyes, Casey angled his head away.

Severide winced at the burn. As a firefighter, he knew it wasn’t a serious burn, but he also knew it would be painful. Softly, he probed the skin, seeing that it was healing nicely.

“How did this even happen anyway? Whatever it was, it must have been hot.”

Casey let out a strained chuckle as he tried to hide his wince, “Roman candle war?”

Severide blinked, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Shooting Roman candles at each other. One got shot at me.”

Severide blinked again, having paused over Casey’s neck. He stared at Casey’s reflection, hoping that Casey would tell him that was a joke. But he didn’t. He shook his head, “I’m sorry, what?”

Casey laughed, “People are stupid.”

Just shaking his head, because there really wasn’t any other option, Severide returned his hands to Casey’s neck. Casey’s laugh quickly turned into a gasp as Severide accidently probed too close and nicked the side, “Shit, sorry.”

Casey waved him off, knowing that if he’d done it himself, he’d have already caused himself a lot more pain. He realised that Severide was now looking closely at the wound, and rolled his eyes as he brushed him off, “It’s fine, Sevvy. It’s not even that bad.”

“That depends on what you mean about not that bad… inch to the left and it would have been a lot worse.”

Casey rolled his eyes, “I know, but it wasn’t.”

Severide rolled his eyes harder, mocking “I know, but it could have been.”

Ordinarily, Casey might have jabbed back, but Severide chose that exact moment to cover the burn with the bandage, wincing in sympathy as it made contact with Casey’s singed flesh. Casey clenched his jaw shut, not wanting to make a sound at risk of Severide hearing his pain.

“You’re all done.”

Casey smiled, lifting his head back up and feeling the bandage shift into place. Severide was already packing the supplies away, and he softly thanked him.

“No worries, bud. No idea how you managed by yourself at the firehouse, but…”

Casey snorted, nudging him in the shoulder, “Sylvie did it.”

Severide’s eyes widened, “Brett?”

Matt flushed, “Um… yeah. Brett.”

Kelly grinned, poking Casey in the ribs, “Sylvie?”

Turning red, Casey glared at him, “Shut up.”

Severide realised Casey was taking his jest the wrong way, and quickly backpedaled, “Wait, no. That’s great, Case.”

Casey went really quiet, something Severide hadn’t seen for a long time. He frowned, “Wait, you’re seeing her, right?”

At Casey’s silence, Severide rolled his eyes, “Casey. She’s interested in you.”

The captain didn’t know what to say, he kind of had the feeling that Brett was interested, he wasn’t blind, but he couldn’t for the life of him think why. Besides, it wasn’t appropriate, he’d been married to her best friend… and just… no.

“Casey, you should see her staring at you. She looks like a lost puppy. And don’t tell me you aren’t interested.”

Becoming uncomfortable, Casey shook his head, “Severide, I was married to Gabby – her _best friend._ There’s no way we can date.”

Kelly just shook his head, “That doesn’t matter, Casey? Why would that matter? If you like Brett, then go out with her.”

Casey was already shaking his head again, so Severide cut in, “Matt. Trust me. It doesn’t matter… I’ve been out with heaps of girls and slept with their friends after.”

Casey let out a dry bark of laughter, “Yeah, _been out_ Kelly Severide style – how many of them were you _married_ to?”

He wasn’t even affected by Casey’s comment – he knew Matt hadn’t meant it like that, and that either way, he was upset. Besides he knew that he had a point.

“Sorry, that wasn’t fair.”

Severide just shrugged, “Case… if you’re interested in Brett, you should go for it. If she makes you happy, and you make her happy, then you should go out.”

“It’s not that simple – Kelly, just drop it. I think I’m ready to get back on the dating scene, but not with Sylvie.”

Kelly smiled, “You said Sylvie.”

Casey groaned.

“Case. It’s been really tough seeing you so down after the divorce. And Naomi – you and I know you don’t do casual flings. With everything that’s happened this year – Matt. You deserve to be happy. And Brett is perfect for you.”

Casey still didn’t know what to say. In some ways, he was flattered by what Severide was saying, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but think he was wrong.

“Really, Case. You know I wouldn’t just say that. There’s nothing wrong with dating Brett. Dawson’s gone. I know that’s not what you wanted, and I’m sorry. But she is. And now you’re ready to move on. Don’t deny yourself that.”

Casey frowned again, not sure what to think about Severide’s words. He wanted to believe them, he really did, there was just one more problem –

“Even if I did want to date Sylvie, I can’t.”

Severide put his head to the side, “Why not?”

Casey scowled at him, “Because I was married to her best friend?”

Severide sighed, “And why does that worry you? Is it because of Dawson? Because she’ll come back and get annoyed? Case. She broke your heart. And I know it was her who hit you with a divorce. She gave up the right to control you.”

He knew his words were on the harsh side, but nothing else would get through to Casey. Although, judging by Casey’s reaction, his words hadn’t helped at all.

“What else are you worried about?”

Casey avoided his gaze.

“You’re worried about what people will think.”

Silence.

Severide sighed, “Case… you know that no one will care. The guys, I mean. They probably won’t even think about Gabby… about her being friends with Brett I mean. Do you really think that they’re that switched on?”

Casey still wasn’t answering, and Severide noticed tears in his eyes.

“Casey… I didn’t tell you earlier, because it wasn’t my business. It’s why I thought you were with Brett, though… she was talking to Foster and Stella.”

 _That_ got a response. Casey glanced up and looked at him in shock.

“… and Sylvie said the same thing. I realise you don’t care about what Foster thought… but Kidd? She was friends with Gabby at the academy. And do you know what she said?”

Not missing that some hope had come back to Casey’s eyes, he continued, “She said, that it didn’t matter. That it was history – that it shouldn’t stop Brett from being happy.”

Casey was frowning to himself, thinking things through.

“And I think it’s the same for you, Case. This shouldn’t stop you from being happy.”

Casey was at a loss for words. Severide’s word meant the world to him. And for Severide to be reassuring him –

He launched himself at Severide’s chest.

“Thanks, Kelly.”

Kelly chuckled, patting Matt’s back, “No worries, bud.”


	12. Matthew

Severide smiled as he felt Casey nuzzle into his side. His boy’s breaths were warm against his ribs, tickling him softly. He and Casey had never been happier. In-house dating might usually be seen as taboo – and Casey had certainly had his reservations after Dawson – but their relationship had never been anything other than perfect. It had helped that they’d known each other for son long, and had always (well, _almost_ always, and the times that they didn’t they’d talked about in detail and had resolved any remaining tension) had each other’s backs. Their firehouse family was supportive, having already guessed that they were together when they came out. Nothing was too hard for them, they could overcome every hurdle.

Severide was just glad that was so happy. He knew about the blonde’s struggles in his early life, and the scars – both mental and physical – it had left him with. The PTSD – which for the most part Casey was able to hide – still hit him, and Severide had long since become used to the panic attacks he faced. It still made Severide sick to think of all the abuse Casey had suffered through before his mum stopped his dad, and then the abuse he’d suffered in the system.

But his boy would always insist he was okay.

It had taken a while, but Casey would now readily admit his feelings to Severide, and would assert that his life was now perfect, and he didn’t want his past to get in the way of the perfect future he was going to have with Severide.

And Severide admired him for it.

Just like he was admiring Casey now.

They’d been laying in bed for the better part of the day. It had been a long shift, calls keeping them up the whole night, so they’d been more than content to crawl between the blankets and nap once they’d arrived home. But for the last hour or so, they’d both just been content to lie next to each other, resting without doing anything.

They hadn’t spoken many words, the silence being more than comfortable between them. Earlier, Casey had been telling Severide how happy he made him, how much he loved him.

Severide smiled as he remembered the words, subconsciously rubbing a hand over Casey’s chest and relaxing at the feeling of Casey breathing beside him.

He angled his head slightly, looking at Casey’s blonde mop of hair and softly kissing it, “I love you, Matthew.”

And the mood was destroyed. With no warning whatsoever, Matt froze, sucking in a breath as a jolt of electricity went through his body. He pulled away, letting out a strangled yelp as he glanced around him.

A stab of hurt went through Severide’s body, not understanding what had caused Casey’s reaction. Still, he was mostly concerned as he turned to Casey, surveying Casey’s trembling frame.

And saw that his blonde had gone completely pale. His eyes were damp, and he was shaking as he pulled his knees to his chest, “I’m sorry, please. S-stop.”

And the stab of hurt was replaced with a much more painful stab of worry. He watched as Casey dug his fingers into his knees, sobbing as he leant forwards and started robbing. His boy wasn’t all there. He had experienced Casey’s PTSD flashbacks before, and he always felt as though he couldn’t help him.

Feeling as though he was moving in slow motion, he reached out, “Matty? Matty, it’s just me…”

Casey sobbed again and pulled back, almost falling off the bed, “N-no. I’m so-sorry. I’m sorry.”

Severide felt his breath catch in his throat. Casey was having a panic attack, not even able to work out where he was. Quickly, Severide held his hands up, lowering his voice and making himself smaller. It was the only way to get close enough to Casey when he was like this.

 “Matty? Matty. You’re with me. Kelly. It’s okay… we’re in bed.”

Apparently, the word ‘bed’ was the wrong one to mention when he was in this state, because Casey whimpered out, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… I’m not gay. I promise I’m not – not gay.”

Severide knew to ignore that. Once they had come out to their firehouse family, Casey had started to relax and come to terms with his sexuality. It was now relatively rare for him to hide it, though he sometimes still have reservations around strangers. This was just the past abuse and flashback speaking.

Kelly nodded, making his voice soft, as though Casey was a child, “Casey. Matty. It’s me. It’s Kelly. Hey, can you tell me where you are?”

Casey whimpered, “Don’t call me Matthew.”

Ah, so _that_ had been the trigger. Severide found himself wondering about what could have happened for Casey to hate his own _name,_ but he also knew that, as a general, it was best not to infatuate himself over Casey’s PTSD. Besides, right now focusing on Casey was the most important thing.

“Case. Where are we?”

Casey closed his eyes tightly, before murmuring, “B-bedroom.”

Severide nodded, “Good. Now can you tell me three things you can smell?”

Casey rocked forwards again, before breathing in through his nose, “Um… pillow… smell… sheets…”

He drew in another breath, and Severide could see the anxiety increasing again, “Matty… Matty… s’okay. You’re okay. Just another smell… I know you can do it.”

Severide saw Casey draw in another shaky breath, “… you…”

Severide grinned, “Great. Five things you can feel, Matty?”

Matt was calming down, but he still rubbed his hands across the mattress, “Um… mattress… bed. Soft, against my legs… Tears. Covers… my hair.”

Gently, Severide edged a hand over to Casey, brushing his leg. Casey’s hand immeaditely met his, and Severide gave it a gentle squeeze, “Your hand…”

He could feel Severide nodding, “Great. Great, Matty. You’re okay.”

Casey only looked up for a moment, before he flushed and dropped his head to his knees, “S-sorry. Sorry.”

But his tone wasn’t fearful, just disappointed. Severide knew that Casey was talking to him, not some PTSD-imagined father. Of course, he didn’t think that Casey had anything to apologise for, but he knew that his boy wouldn’t think about it like that.

“It’s okay, Case. Can I hold you?”

At the blonde’s nod, Severide moved towards him, softly whispering his warnings before he touched him, because he knew how easy Casey was to frighten after a panic attack.

So, he was relieved when Casey reacted to his hold, sliding himself into Severide’s arms and tucking his head beneath his chin. Severide started rocking him, gently drawing circles with his thumb on Casey’s forearm, hoping to keep him calm.

Once Casey’s breathing had calmed a little, Severide softly kissed him on the top of his head. He felt Casey shift again, and felt him murmur against his chest, “I’m sorry.”

Severide gently hummed to him, kissing him again, “It’s okay, Case. It’s fine…”

Casey shook his head against Severide’s shoulder, “N-no. S-sorry, Kel. Not your f-fault. You c-can call me whatever y-you want.”

Severide shook his head, gently caressing Matt’s back, “Matty, I’ll call you whatever makes you comfortable. That’s what I’ll do.”

Casey frowned, and Severide knew he had to try something else. He knew the way Matt’s mind worked. If he was upset about something, or feeling guilty, it would reverberate around his brain until he’d internalized it. If he tried to distract him, Casey would no doubt try to keep up with the conversation, but it wouldn’t be healing to his boyfriend’s state of mind. Severide knew he had to try something to calm Casey down, but also to get to the bottom of his thoughts.

“Hey, Case? I love it when you call me Kel.”

He could feel Casey frown, and his breaths slowed slightly.

“Do you want to know why I love it?”

Casey shifted, before Severide heard a strained, “W-why?”

“Because I know it means you love me. It’s not just my first name, it’s one that I love more. It’s more personal. I also like Sev. I love Sev at the firehouse. I know that I’m yours and you’re mine, but it’s also professional.”

He could feel Casey calming down and continued to rub his shoulder, “I also love Kelly, and Severide. You seem to use them at the perfect times – you say them in the perfect way.”

Casey was resting against his shoulder now, his tears had ebbed, “I like it when you call me Case.”

Matt’s voice had only cracked a few times in his short sentence, and Kelly knew it was progress, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. There’s something about the way you say it. It’s like a blanket. I love it. And the same with Matty.”

Kelly still had a hand on Casey’s shoulder, and slowly he moved them, so they were lying down. Casey rolled over so he was looking in Kelly’s eyes. Casey still had tears in his, but at least they weren’t marring his face anymore.

“My favourite is when you call me baby. But when you call me it in private. When we’re cuddled on the couch…”

Severide smiled. So, Casey loved hearing the word as much as he loved saying it. But as nice as the moment was, he knew he needed to get to the bottom of Casey’s hatred for his full name.

“Case?”

Matt nodded, apprehensive. He knew where Severide was going, and he didn’t know whether he’d be able to get through the conversation without crying.

“Can I… can I ask why you don’t like being called…”

Severide paused, he really didn’t want to upset Casey. But Casey seemed to cotton on, and avoided Severide’s gaze, “Uh… it’s okay… it doesn’t matter…”

“Case.”

Casey sighed, closing his eyes. He felt Severide’s arm stroke up and down his, and slowly, he slitted them open and looked to Severide, “Is ‘its what dad used to call me’ detailed enough?”

Severide offered him a sympathetic glance, knowing that it had to be a lot worse than his dad yelling at him. Matt seemed to know that, too, and he sighed as he reached out and took Severide’s hand, “I’m not sure I can talk about it…”

Severide knew it was bad, then. Gently, he reached out a hand to Casey’s face, stroking it. He knew if Casey really wasn’t ready, he couldn’t pressure him, but it was worth a shot, “Okay. Do you want to try?”

Casey made eye contact again – and Severide could tell that he wanted too, but was worried about crying, “We can take as long as it takes, Case. Can split it over a few days…”

Because that’s what they’d done in the past. And at first, it had made Casey feel as though he was weak, because Severide never needed to do that. But Severide had shaken his head, pointing out that he didn’t have the same levels of trauma, that he’d already had a lot of discussions with Shay, and he had cried then, that some things _did_ still get to him and, either way, it didn’t matter. Everyone dealt with shit differently.

Casey’s eyes filled with tears, and Severide knew it was gratitude. He knew Casey would always be secretive, but he also knew it was his own self-defense, it wasn’t intended to be against him. If anything, it actually meant Casey loved him more, because he always fought it down.

Gently, he squeezed Casey’s hand, massaging it in a way he knew put Casey at ease.

“Um… so I mean… it is a little to do with my dad… but… more than usual?”

Casey let out a self-deprecating snort and rolled his eyes, Severide just kept a comforting hand on him, and whispered that it was okay, that he could take his time, that he was there.

And Severide didn’t let go, holding his hand and maintaining eye contact as Casey started to recount yet another tale of abuse, pulling Casey in and hugging him as he started crying, allowing Casey to slam his fists into the bed, and watching carefully as he scrubbed his face to ground himself so he could gently pull Casey’s hands away when they got too harsh.

And when Casey was finally done, he just held him for a while, accepting the new piece of information, and letting Casey know that he’d be there, but that also it didn’t change anything.

And even though Casey knew it, he muttered it to be sure.

“I’m sorry, Sev… for all of this… all of this… baggage…”

Kelly shook his head. He didn’t care about Casey’s baggage, he was there to help him carry it. He knew Casey knew that, but he also knew that when the demons came out, Casey couldn’t help but think he’d be better off with someone less broken. It was something that he made sure Casey didn’t get carried away thinking almost every day.

“The only thing this makes me think about is how brave you are, Case. How strong you are. I love every part of you, Case.”

His hand went to Casey’s hip, where he knew he had his scars. It had taken a long time for Casey to let him see them. He remembered thinking it was weird that Casey put his boxers back on straight after sex, and he had suspected that he was hiding something. But he’d treated them as he did every other scar – mental or physical – that Casey had. He’d softly kissed them, and then brought Casey into a hug.

Casey looked at him, surveying him, before his face creased up and he shuffled forwards. Severide knew what he needed, so he brought him straight into a hug, gently rocking him again.

“I love you, Kel.”

Severide hummed into his boy’s hair, “I love you too, Case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna go hug a pillow


	13. Wisdom Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's the one I started writing when I had my wisdom teeth out at the start of the year XD Took a long time to sort through what I'd written while I was on narcotics let me tell you.

_If there was one negative thing about being a lieutenant,_ Severide mused, _it’s the paperwork._

They were nearing the end of what had been a long and slow shift. Severide felt like he hadn’t seen the exterior of his office in an age, as he had taken the down time to catch up on his paperwork. He’d made productive use of his time, sure, but he never wanted to put pen to paper again.

_I would kill for a fire right now._

He heard Casey’s phone ring and raised his head as he heard him answer. Just like Severide, Casey had hidden himself away in his office. The blonde had always been faster with his paperwork, but given the sheer quantity that came with being a captain he now struggled to keep up.

“Yeah, I’m good for getting home. Okay, thanks.”

It wasn’t that Severide was trying to listen in, but he was so bored he couldn’t help it. Besides, he’d been worried about Casey. The blonde had seemed off for the last couple of shifts. He’d been distracted. As though he was in his own little world. He’d opted to eat his meals in his office, separate to the rest of the crews.

But no matter how concerned Severide had been, he hadn’t wanted to show that it went past what was usual friendship levels.

Because if Casey worked out his secret… well, he didn’t want to think how that would go.

Just as he was forcing himself to re-read the incident report from the last fire, he heard a knock at his door. Happy for the distraction, he turned his head.

And saw none other than Matt Casey.

Severide grinned, and Casey awkwardly shifted his phone in his hand for a moment. Severide recognized the expression, _I need help but don’t want to ask._

Hoping he sounded normal, and trying to encourage Casey, he started, “What’s up, Case?”

Casey blinked, and rotated his phone again, “Uh, I was just wondering… I’m having my wisdom teeth removed, need an emergency contact… I’ve put you down, is that okay?”

If Severide had been expecting something, it wasn’t _that_ , “You’re having your wisdom teeth removed?”

Matt just nodded.

Severide frowned, “You haven’t done that, yet?”

Casey shrugged, offhand “Wasn’t really a priority when I was younger.”

He didn’t sound bitter, just matter-of-fact. Severide understood – at that point in Casey’s life, there wouldn’t have been many trips to the dentist, nor much of a break to have something like that done. From what he knew – the mediocre jobs Casey had worked probably didn’t come with a great dental plan, and he wouldn’t have been able to afford much leave either. Even if Casey had been in agony, if it wasn’t life-threatening he probably would have just toughed it out.

Severide couldn’t help it as his heart clenched. He hated that Casey had gone through such a hard time.

Casey seemed to pick up on it, or maybe he was just trying to change the topic from how chaotic and broken his childhood had been, “besides, they’ve only just started bothering me.”

Severide nodded, wishing that Casey didn’t feel as though he had to hide his childhood from him. Casey was his best friend no matter what, even if he wanted more. He also realised that the pain must have been bad if Casey had _actually_ _seen someone_ over it. His stomach filled with regret – that was what had been wrong with Casey. How did he not realise?

Casey was starting to look uneasy, shuffling the phone in his hands again, “I can ask someone else – “

“No. I was just thinking, Case. When is it?”

Matt shrugged, “Tomorrow, but you shouldn’t need to – “

“What time? I’m free, I can pick you up.”

Matt shook his head, “Oh, no, it’s fine… I’m just catching a cab. It’s just of something goes wrong… hospital precaution – “

“Don’t be stupid, Casey. I’ll drop you there and pick you up. Just let me know what times.”

Slowly, Matt relented and told Kelly the details. If all went well, he should be out of the hospital by midday. Casey would be sore, he was having all four teeth removed, but he would be recovered enough to be by himself.

At least, that’s what Casey said. Severide had no plans of leaving him to his own devices.

* * *

Later that night, Casey had plated himself up some dinner – and Severide noticed he was sticking to the softer parts of the meal – and was heading back to his office when Cruz spoke up.

“Hey, Captain, can you help us settle a bet?”

Casey paused, turning back to them with a questioning expression on his face.

“That fire on south side… someone from 46 said that…”

Severide stopped listening to Cruz’s question, watching as Casey set his plate down and started to answer to the best of his ability, actively trying not to open his jaw wide while still trying to remain animated.

He also didn’t miss how Casey tried to cut his food up as small as possible.

Nor the way he pushed it to the front of his mouth to be chewed.

_Damn. How did I not notice?_

Severide didn’t even realise that he’d probably been watching Casey more intensely than usual, and no one was going to say anything. They knew that their lieutenants were idiosyncratic. It was just part of working at fifty-one.

* * *

Severide ambled back through the bunk room, cup of ice chips in hand.

No one had questioned the lieutenant when he had pulled out the bag of ice and started smashing it, taking the smaller shards and putting them into plastic cups. Everyone knew not to question Kelly – it was a game of roulette – either you got his lone wolf act, or a fist to the face.

And neither were particularly desired.

So, when he had packed away all but one cup of ice in the freezer, and had removed an icepack, they only lowered their heads and actively avoided his actions.

He’d also stopped by his locker and scrounged around for the strongest pain meds he’d been able to find. It was only double paracetamol. Still, he put it in his pocket.

He arrived at Casey’s office door, seeing his younger brother sitting at his desk, chin _very gently_ resting on his hand. He was peering over paperwork, but Severide could see he hadn’t filled in much.

Gently, he knocked and invited himself in, setting the ice pack and chips on the table.

“Hey, Casey. I was reading online that ice could help with the pain… thought it might be worth a shot.”

Casey leant back and stared at him, and for a moment Severide wondered if he’d gone too far, if he’d passed through _friendship_ territory and wondered into something else.

In reality; Casey was just weighing up the pain he was in with the option of giving in to Severide.

And the pain was winning, hands down.

Casey gave him a serious expression as he took the cup, stabbing the spoon into the chips.

“Severide, I’ll bloody kiss you if this helps.”

Severide could feel parts of himself waking up that he’d rather stay dormant – the idea of Matthew Casey kissing him was certainly one he’d dreamed of more times than he cared to admit.

So, he didn’t utter a response as Casey _cautiously_ put some chips in his mouth and _cautiously_ moved them to the back. For a moment, he winced, and Severide’s heart stopped – what if he’d hurt Casey more then helped him?

But then Casey’s expression melted into one of relief, and Severide relaxed. As carefully as last time, Casey put another spoon of chips in his mouth and smiled to Severide, “Thanks.”

A warm feeling spread through Severide’s chest, “Don’t mention it.”

Casey then took the ice pack and _cautiously_ put it to his jaw, closing his eyes in momentary bliss. Severide watched as he moved his chin down, adjusting the ice pack so it wrapped around both sides of his jaw.

Taking the opportunity to dig around in his pockets, Severide pulled out the paracetamol, “Casey – for pain relief, I only had this. But it’s better than nothing, if that’s what you’re on.”

Casey opened his eyes, looking at the packet. He put the ice pack down and reached across to his drawers, pulling out an – almost full – prescribed box of double codeine, “Doctor prescribed this, hasn’t really touched it.”

Severide frowned in concern, then shot his brother a mischievous grin, “Only helps if you take it.”

Casey frowned up at him, then, caught out, he took out the blister pack and cracked one into his hand.

“Two, Case.”

Casey glared up at him, but begrudgingly cracked out another. He stuck them in his mouth and – still glaring at Severide – swallowed.

Severide grinned, cocky, and picked up the ice pack, waving it in Casey’s face, “Hopefully they’ll kick in soon, but until then…”

Casey rolled his eyes and took the pack from Severide, gently putting it to his jaw again.

Severide grinned as he left the office.

And Casey smiled at his retreating form.

* * *

Most of 51 had long since gone to sleep, each snoring in their respective bunks. Severide liked the near silence – it was calming to hear his brothers around him. It made him feel safe.

The silence was suddenly interrupted by a door opening, and Severide glanced up to see Casey leaving his office, melted ice pack in hand. He quietly closed his door, before starting to head out of the bunk room.

Severide jumped up, darting out of his own office and jogging to catch up. Casey turned back to him and frowned, raising a questioning eyebrow.

Leaning in, so no one would overhear them, because he was certain Casey wouldn’t appreciate this getting out, he whispered to Casey, “I could have got that.”

Casey’s eyebrow rose further, “I could have come to your bunk… to get you to get me another ice pack?”

When he put it so bluntly, Severide realised it sounded dumb. He glanced at Casey, hoping to cover himself, “Good point.”

Casey shrugged, “Appreciate it, though.”

Severide’s heart filled with warmth at the praise, and he looked to Casey. But the warmth faded – he recognized the expression on his brother’s face. The one that meant he was in pain, trying not to show it, but barely able to conceal it. Severide frowned in concern, “Painkillers really don’t work, huh?”

Casey glanced at him, “Nah, not really. Ice does more – though, I’m pretty sure it just makes everything numb.”

Severide snorted, “Go lay down in the snow outside, that’ll make you numb.”

Casey chuckled back, but then winced at the movement in his jaw. Severide whispered an apology, and took the ice pack from Casey’s hand, darting over to the freezer and returning with a cold one. Casey had already leant against the counter, stooped over, and Severide could see from his body language that he was struggling to hide the pain.

He wrapped the ice pack in paper towel before handing it to Casey, leaning in just in case someone could overhear them, “You sure you’re okay?”

Casey glanced up at him, clearly tossing up his next words, before whispering, “Can’t wait for this to be over.”

Kelly’s heart melted, and he didn’t know what to say. Casey just shrugged, relaxing as the ice soothed his jaw, “I’m fine though, Severide.”

Kelly nodded, then motioned back to the bunks, “You should try getting some sleep… you’ve got surgery in the morning.”

Matt sighed and nodded, pushing himself off the counter. Severide fell into step with him, silent as they made their way past their sleeping brothers.

As they passed Severide’s quarters, Casey slowed and squeezed his arm, “Thanks, Kelly. For everything.”

Trying to stop the urge he had to tell Casey that he was more than happy to do it – that he _wanted_ to do it – that seeing him in pain was hurting himself, Severide smiled.

“All good, bud.”

* * *

Severide didn’t sleep that much, too concerned about Casey and whether the blonde was in pain. He knew how painful wisdom teeth could be, knew that when he was younger, he’d barely been able to sleep, and he hated to think that Casey was in that position.

But when he’d walked past Casey’s bunk – going to the bathroom, even though walking in the oppisite direction would have been faster – he could see the blonde fast asleep in his bed, mouth hanging open. Satisfied that he wasn’t in pain, Severide retreated to his own quarters.

Morning came without another call, and Severide was quick to have a shower and get ready. Casey was just behind him – though he’d refused breakfast, something that had earned a judgmental but good-natured jibe from Otis – and before long, they were standing outside.

Casey turned to him one last time, stating that he’d be fine and Severide really didn’t need to drive him to and fro. Severide had rebutted him and told him that he took his role as emergency contact seriously, and Casey had just smiled. He had to admit that it felt good, to have someone care.

Even if they weren’t caring in the way he wanted.

When it came time for Casey to leave, he was surprised by Kelly’s knock at the door. He glanced out to see Severide with shopping bags, teasing him that he probably didn’t have the right foods, so he’d taken liberty to stock up.

Casey hid it well, but he’d actually been moved almost to tears.

Once Severide had stocked Casey’s freezer with ice cream, put the biscuits he planned on soaking with milk away, as well as the fruit to be blended, the potatoes to be mashed and the honey to put on the yogurt, he turned back to Casey, making sure he was ready to leave.

They made comfortable conversation on their way to the hospital, both struggling to keep it platonic. Once they’d arrived, Casey was quick and efficient at signing himself in, securing the bracelet to his wrist and moving with Severide through to the bed he’d be occupying for the day and disappearing into the bathroom to change into the gown.

Once the door had closed behind him, Casey felt his heart start to race. What if he said something to Severide while he was under the narcotics? Surely, he’d be able to play it off as though it had been a joke, as though he’d just wanted to see his reaction.

Meanwhile, Severide was wondering how he was going to hide his feelings while Casey would be vulnerable and drugged to oblivion. Seeing him like that always brought out his protective side.

After longer than it should have taken to change into a gown, Casey stepped out, walking towards the bed and climbing in. Severide settled the blankets over him, before flicking on the TV so they could find something to fill up the time until Casey would be taken into surgery.

They ended up mocking the day-time soaps that were on the television – or rather, Severide did most of the talking, but they were having the same thoughts anyway – before a nurse came in and set up the cannula on the back of Casey’s hand, and then the surgeon came in and asked him the necessary questions. Severide had felt like he was intruding, but there was no natural time to leave the room, so he’d sat there as Casey laughed about the lack of dental work he’d had in his life and went through his – fairly detailed – medical history.

Casey had then been moved to pre-op, where they’d cut Severide off at the end of the hall. He’d waved, and Casey had given him a smile and waved back, the nurses and porter sharing a look.

He didn’t have to wait long until they were ready to take him into the room, and the same nurse from earlier helped set him up. Making sure he was comfortable on the table – and trying to relax him – she leant down, smiling as she asked if he and Severide were a couple.

Unable to hide the shock from his face – because he thought he’d been more discreet about it – Casey denied it, but as they pushed the pre-op sedative to relax him for intubation, Casey couldn’t stop the slurred confession that left his mouth.

That he loved Severide.

It didn’t take long for the dental surgeon to remove Casey’s impacted wisdom teeth, and before he even knew what was happening he was waking up in recovery. Nothing hurt, but the world was bright as the same nurse sat by his bed, smiling and making sure he still knew who he was.

Matt knew his speech was muffled, and he felt as though everything was drifting as he asked where Severide was. The nurse had smiled at him, telling him he was waiting in the hallway and he’d be able to see him soon. Casey had then admitted he was worried he might confess that he loved him, but the nurse had just smiled.

She didn’t think it would be a big deal if he did.

Still, Matt kept his jaw stubbornly shut as he was wheeled back into his room, still dizzy from the meds. It shouldn’t take too long for them to leave his system, then he would be free to be released, but for now, the doctors needed to keep an eye on him.

Severide had been soft but cheery to see him back but had been worried when Casey refused to talk.

Moving so Casey could see him, he kept his voice low as he whispered, “Hurts, Case?”

Now that he was looking at Severide, Casey couldn’t stop himself from slurring that he was fine and in no pain. Kelly had then been concerned, not sure if he should believe the blonde, and asked if he could get him anything.

He hadn’t been able to stop his eyebrows from shooting up when Casey slurred, “You.”

Moving down once again, Severide just tried to nod, thinking through everything Casey could have meant. But he was coming up blank.

Surely Casey didn’t mean he wanted to be with him?

His thoughts were interrupted by Casey slurring out that he loved him. And _that_ , that didn’t have another possible meaning.

He didn’t want to take advantage of Casey under the influence of the narcotics, so he just reached down and took his hand, telling Casey that he cared about him too, but they should discuss it later.

“No, Sevvy. Love you.  Have for a long time. Ask Herrmann.”

He didn’t have a response for that one either. Casey had told someone else how he felt? That didn’t seem like a possibility.

Casey must have known him better than he gave him credit for, though. Because the next thing he said was, “Figured it out and called me out on it.”

The look Casey was giving him could only be described as raw, raw and vulnerable.

And honest.

So Severide just smiled as he uttered his next words.

“I love you too, Case.”

* * *

By the time Casey got home, he was tired, and he had to admit that the pain in his jaw was getting worse. His face was swollen, and he was sure he didn’t look attractive.

But Severide’s arm was around his middle, and he couldn’t be happier.

He knew they still had things to discuss, that Severide would still want to be sure that it hadn’t been some drug-induced joke, but for now, they were sitting on the couch together, watching shitty re-runs of movies and eating ice cream.

And Casey couldn’t be happier.


	14. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because it's my birthday today XD

Matt Casey had never seen his birthday as a big deal. It had never been important when he was young – he’d had cakes, and had parties, sure, but his birthday had never _really_ mattered, because it had never stopped his parents arguing – and that was the one thing he wanted.

Then his mum had killed his dad and he’d gone into care, and after that, it had _really_ stopped mattering.

But that had all changed when he’d met Kelly.

Or rather, when he _truly_ met Kelly.

While they’d been at the academy, then at fifty-one with Darden, Kelly had started to give his birthdays a new meaning. He’d always remembered and wished Casey a happy birthday with that light in his eyes – the light that made so many feelings within Casey stir. Fifty-one had then caught onto the tradition, and soon the shift closest to Casey’s birthday was just an excuse for everyone to gorge themselves on cake.

But after their first kiss, when they’d started dating, Kelly had _really_ changed the meaning.

And it was now something Casey looked forward too.

He was still dozing when he felt something lower itself – no, _land_ , because he was pretty sure that Severide had launched himself across the room– on the bed next to him, and the next thing he knew, Kelly was wrapped around him, nuzzling him like a cat, “Baby… Matty… Matty… wake up.”

Snorting as a grin covered his face, Casey rolled towards him. Kelly pulled back only enough to look at him, “Matty… It’s your birthday!”

This time, it was Casey who nuzzled into Severide, holding him almost possessively and loving the feel of him being so close. To him, Severide was warmth and safety, and could protect him from everything wrong with the world.

They stayed like that for a moment, Severide rocking him slightly in his arms. In truth, Casey was more than capable of staying like that for the rest of the day – even the rest of his life. Time flew by when he was with his boy.

Because he was truly happy. Severide loved him, and he loved Severide. Kelly was his protector, the one who kept him warm and safe, and he knew he could always count on him. They were with each other no matter what, through thick and thin, and nothing would be able to change the fact that they were always going to be together for each other. No matter the circumstance, Kelly would look after him, and he would look after Kel. Even though things still got overwhelming for Casey, the light in Kelly’s eyes would always be there, giving Casey energy to fight the day.

“Happy Birthday, Casey…”

And even though he couldn't see Severide's face, he knew he had that light in his eyes right then. 


	15. Chicken Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy pre-series fic set in their time at the academy.

Severide carefully made his way through the apartment he shared with Andy and Matt, balancing a bowel of chicken soup in each hand.

Matt may not have been living with them for long, but both Andy and Kelly had quickly figured out that they needed to look after the blonde, because he wouldn’t do it himself. It wasn’t that Casey wasn’t capable, of course, and he never neglected any chores or cooking – in fact, Severide had only commented the other day how much cleaner their flat was – but anything that Casey deemed a ‘minor discomfort’ – which, as far as Kelly knew, was anything short of him bleeding out or needing urgent medical attention – and Casey was content to just suffer in silence. He would refuse to slow down and was careful not to inconvenience anyone else.

When he’d tripped down the stairs at the academy, and his ankle had swollen to the size of a grapefruit, he’d continued to limp around on it as he cleaned the apartment, only able to keep the grimace off his face through years of practiced discipline. At that point, he’d only just moved in, and anf Casey’s eyes, they’d saved his arse. He didn’t know how much longer he would have been safe with his landlord, and he didn’t want them to think he was lazy or taking advantage of them. He already hand an idea that they were subsidising his rent, and was trying to work out a way to pay them back.  

But when Severide had come home to see him limping badly as he tried to clean the apartment, he had quickly pushed the pain meds to him. Matt had been reluctant, and Kelly realised it was to do with the idea of him taking something that wasn’t his - even though Matt was more than generous with anything he owned. But rather than hitting the issue head on, Severide argued that they were already in his hand and he couldn’t put them back. Matt has then looked guilty as he downed them, and he’d gone back to cleaning, Severide figuring that he’d already bothered him enough. 

But then Andy had come home and had sided with Severide, pushing Matt onto the couch and propping his ankle up. Casey had been seemingly aghast that he was taking up so much space, but Kelly had simply told him to shut up as he wrapped ice around Matt’s swollen joint. He and Andy had then thrown pillows on the floor and thrown themselves down, doing their best to appear comfortable so Matt didn't suffocate in his own guilt. 

And they had both pretended to not notice as Matt stared at both of them in shock, before he relaxed and turned his attention to the mindless show that Andy had whacked on.

Kelly was sure that Matt’s lack of self-care was influenced by his poverty – he hadn’t deemed an extremely painful ankle bad enough to spend the money on pain meds – but he also worried that it was due to low self-esteem. It wasn’t like Kelly was a mastermind when it came to self-worth, but even he could see that the blonde had a low perception of himself. And Severide knew that Andy thought the same thing, which only worried him more.

Because Matt was worth the care.

So, when Matt had come home the previous night, shivering and struggling to get warm after doing – extra – drills at the academy, Severide had thrown a blanket over his shoulders and pushed him onto the couch, reheating some of the pasta he and Andy had ate hours before. Matt hadn’t been hungry but only ate as to not offend them. Half an hour later, and despite the heater being on full blast, Matt was still shivering, and Andy fixed him with a knowing look.

Sure enough, Matt had woken the next day with a temperature that would rival the heat of a supernova and a rough, hacking cough. He’d still pulled himself out of bed and started cooking breakfast, shivering harshly, but he'd soon broken out into a rough coughing fit and ended up almost doubled over at the bench, doing his best to cover his mouth and turn away from the food. The fit had woken Kelly, and he'd pulled on a hoodie as he'd made his way to the kitchen, prodding Matt until he was sitting on the couch. Matt had tried apologizing, but Kelly had rolled his eyes as he threw a blanket over his shoulders.

Darden had come in and got a quick read on the scene, heading over to the medical cabinet and picking out the meds that would best help him, patting Kelly on the shoulder as he finished up the breakfast Casey had started on. He felt bad that he had to leave, but it was his youngest cousin’s birthday, and they all knew how much the little girl loved her ‘favouritest and biggest cousin’.

Matt had of course said it was fine and added that he wasn’t that sick, and Kelly was over-reacting, but a side glance at the blonde’s pale face had let him know that his concern wasn’t too misplaced. They finished up breakfast and Darden did a quick supply run, picking up what would be useful for Matt. Casey had gone back to sleep, which confirmed to Severide how bad he was feeling, and Kelly cleaned up breakfast. They didn’t have anything to do, and Kelly hoped that Matt would get enough rest to kick this in the bud.

Matt was still sound asleep when Kelly had started cooking lunch, deciding that chicken soup was the best for the blonde. Despite what Kelly wanted everyone to think about him, he was actually a very good cook, and he knew a thing or two about chicken soup. Matt would need the salt, and grated ginger would help his body process it. Using the leg meat from the chicken meat it would be the softest, and nicest for Matt to eat. Giving the noodles a little extra cooking time would let them be soft, but not too mushy.

Plus, a few cloves of garlic.

Happy with his final product, Kelly plated it up and moved back over to Casey, putting the bowls on the table before kneeling down next to the blonde. Before Matt got a chance to push him away, he pressed his hand to his forehead, wincing at the heat, though he knew that the fever Matt was running was not risky in anyway.

“Hey, Matt… Matt…”

He shook his shoulder gently, and Matt groaned at his touch. Kelly remained gentle as he kept shaking his shoulder, whispering his name a few more times before Matt’s eyes flicked open. He stared at Kelly for a moment, eyes fluttering, and for a moment Kelly wondered if he’d done something wrong. But Matt just sneezed, barely able to cover his mouth in time. The sneeze led to a coughing fit, and Kelly gently took his shoulders, leading him to a sitting position and rubbing his back. Matt gasped in air when he was done, reaching up and wiping away the tears running down his face.

“Sorry, Kel…”

Kelly carefully looked at Matt. The blonde was really pale, and he was still shivering. He looked utterly miserable, and Kelly was desperate not to contribute to that emotion.

“It’s fine, Matt. How are you feeling?”

Matt just shrugged, then coughed again, holding one hand to his forehead. Matt hadn’t complained, yet, but his demeanor was more than enough to confirm how shitty he was feeling. Kelly was honestly surprised that he was letting on as much as he was. That said, he had just woken up and was probably still half-asleep.

He looked over his shoulder, noticing the time and realizing that Matt would be ready for his next dose. He move back to the bench, taking the meds as well as filling a glass with water and returning to his side. He saw that Casey was staring forwards and felt a surge of anxiety – but following his gaze, he realised that the blonde was just looking at the chicken soup.

In awe.

Severide dropped back down to his knees, putting his head to the side as he tried to work out what Matt was thinking, “Matt?”

Casey jerked his head as he glanced to him, and Severide’s heart clenched as he saw Matt’s face – the one he’d only seen once before. Matt’s eyes were wide and teary, and his mouth was hanging open. Matt was elated and flattered – and Kelly felt his heart clench.

“You made me chicken soup?”

Severide glanced back to the soup. As there was two bowls, it was clear that one was intended for Matt – though, he hoped that the blonde didn’t think that he would make soup and then not give him a bowl – and he still had the meds in his hand. Casey was still staring at him, though, and slowly, Severide nodded, “Yeah?”

Casey’s eyes were filling with tears, and he glanced back to the bowl again, “No one’s ever made me chicken soup before…”

Kelly felt as though he had been punched in the gut. He knew how fucked up Matt’s past was, even if the blonde rarely talked about it. And even though most of what Kelly had heard was the wild rumors from the academy, and he knew to take them with a pinch of salt, he also knew there was a lot that Matt wouldn’t talk about, probably couldn’t talk about, and his words had just confirmed his thoughts.

“Case…”

He didn’t know what to say past that, and suddenly felt as though he was out of his depth. Andy tended to be better with the emotional stuff, but that wasn’t to say Kelly didn’t care. He just barely knew how to handle himself.

But luckily, he didn’t have too. Matt turned and gave him a soft smile, still somewhat cautious as he whispered, “Thanks…”

Kelly just watched him for another moment, before nodding slowly, “Yeah, of course, bud…”

Matt smiled once again, before taking one bowl – the one that was slightly larger, they might have it together but they definitely didn’t have coordinated cutlery – and placed it in front of Kelly, before taking the other one and putting it in front of himself. Severide quickly took out the appropriate medications for Matt, placing them in front of him and smiling as he took them.

They proceded to eat in silence, and even though Kelly was conscious that there was  a lot going on between them, it was also the most comfortable silence they’d ever bene in.


	16. Whinge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past few months have honestly been intense... and I'm exhausted. I should be getting back into the swing of things soon, but for now, here's another short (whump) fic...

Matt softly opened the door, pushing his way into the bedroom as he tried to balance a bowel in each hand. Kelly was bundled up under the covers, tissues strewn everywhere. He had the laptop in front of him, Casey could hear the sounds of whatever programme he’d been watching, but he still turned his head to face Casey. 

Almost straight away, Severide pouted, reaching out to Matt as the laptop slid to the ground with a thud. Casey sighed and put the bowels on the bedside table, almost spilling one as Kelly seized his arm and pulled him in, burying his face in Casey’s side as he croaked, “Think I’m dying.”

While Matt never complained about illness and would deny it even if he was hacking up a lung, Kelly was really whiny. Well, he was grumpy with everyone else, and was borderline unapproachable, but when it came to his boyfriend, he would just whinge and cling to him, suddenly unable to do the most basic tasks.

Matt was more than happy to look after him, though, knowing that it cheered the squad lieutenant up. He knew Severide couldn’t be strong all the time, and he didn’t doubt that Kelly was feeling shitty. It did hurt to see Kelly feeling so bad, but he also knew that it was just a cold and that he would recover.

Still though, he wrapped an arm around Kelly and kissed his cheek as he murmured, “It’s just a cold, Kel.”

Severide moaned, “Think I have a fever…”

Softly, Casey pressed his lips against Kelly’s forehead. He was warm, but his temperature was by no means a concern. This cold may be kicking his arse, but he still knew that Kelly would recover in no time.

Kelly harrumphed, wanting Matt to validate his feelings. Unable to stop another slight eye roll, Matt ran a hand through Kelly’s greying hair, “You are warm…”

That made Kelly nuzzle into him again, pressing his face into the crook of Matt’s neck, “Do you feel up to some soup? It’s chicken noodle, your favourite…”

Almost immediately, Kelly put his head up and eyed the bowel, unable to hide a slight smile. Relieved that Kelly hadn’t lost his appetite – because Severide was always a big eater, even when he was sick or injured – Matt handed him the bowel, helping him sit up and propping the pillows behind his back.

As soon as he started eating, Kelly perked up, and if it weren’t for his pale face and red nose you probably wouldn’t even know he was sick. Matt smiled at that, not minding in the slightest.

It didn’t take long at all for Kelly to finish the bowel, handing it back to Matt and leaning back into the pillows, once again seemingly unable to do the simplest of tasks. Matt fondly tucked the sheets back around him, letting Kelly rest his head against his chest as the grey-haired man closed his eyes, mouth hanging open as he continued to breathe through it.

Gently, Casey put one hand to Kelly’s neck, ready for him to go to sleep and hopefully recover.

Just as he thought Kelly was drifting off, he heard a hoarse whisper, “Thanks, Case…”

Matt smiled, gently trying to smooth out Kelly’s tense muscles, “No worries, Kel…”


	17. Banana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't help myself XD 
> 
> Very slight smut I guess.

The past few weeks had been rough. Jerry Gorsh had raised his weasel head, and had started causing havoc for fifty-one, throwing Boden under a metaphorical bus. Severide, Herrmann and Casey had been quick to offer assistance, of course, and they had all been swamped with paperwork as they tried to fight Gorsh’s political agenda, feeling every bit as though they were drowning.

But the truth always wins out.

And although Herrmann and Severide had finally emerged from the piles of paperwork, they hadn’t had a chance to celebrate, because Boden was still buried, and Casey was only just surfacing from the slog. A captain’s work is never done, Severide had teased.

Matt was fine, of course, but Severide could tell how tired and stressed he was – only once everything had truly resolved would the blonde captain relax. Severide had been doing his best to make his boyfriend’s home life as easy as possible – doing all the cooking, cleaning, and giving him gentle massages while he was stooped over the desk – but he could tell Matt was still exhausted. At the end of the day, Matt was only able to collapse in bed and fall asleep. Their sex life was non-existent.

Not that Severide was complaining, he was more than happy to hold Casey as he slept, but he knew it wasn’t what either of them wanted. Casey had said as much, whispering apologies as they’d woken up. Kelly had just kissed him on the head and pulled him in, wrapping him in his arms and allowing him a couple more hours rest.

Because as soon as Casey got back to the firehouse, he went straight to his office and locked himself in. Severide had been in the common room, trying his best not to think about how hard his husband was working, when he saw Otis taking an apple.

And in the fruit bowl, he saw a banana.

And that gave him an idea.

Severide couldn’t stop the smirk that covered his face as he walked over and took it, smiling to himself before slipping into the bunk room.

He could already see Casey sitting at his desk, eyebrows adorably furrowed as he looked at the papers, before he raised them and scribbled something down. Severide smirked, knowing now was as good a time as any, and moved slyly towards the office.

He tapped lightly on the glass, and Casey quickly glanced up. A smile quickly covered his face, happy at the sight of his boyfriend, and he was just about to wave Severide in, when he noticed what was in his hand.

_Cheeky bastard._

Severide smirked and lightly ran his fingers down the banana, lightly fiddling with the top before gently gripping it with two fingers and peeling it slowly.

_Oh, God._

Kelly stared Matt dead in the eyes, holding his gaze as the blonde’s eyes widened, before he slowly raised the banana to his lips, _slowly_ poking out his tongue.

_Shit._

Lightly, Kelly ran his tongue down the length of the banana, twisting it and waggling his eyebrows, before he opened his mouth and slowly inserted the tip between his lips.

Matt could feel himself getting aroused, watching in fascination as Severide’s lips fit perfectly around the banana, sucking…

But the magic was abruptly broken as the bunk room door clattered open.

And Severide froze, not moving a muscle as a look of horror overcame his features.

In the doorway was Mouch, eyes wide, staring first at the squad lieutenant before his eyes shifted to his captain.

Who had a _very_ amused expression on his face.

Kelly’s mind was reeling, trying to catch up with events, before he slowly, _slowly_ turned towards Mouch.

Mouch pointed back to the hallway he had come down, “You know, I’m just gonna…”

He stayed still for another second, before slowly retreating in horror.

Severide turned to Casey, seeing his boyfriend face down on the desk, laughing as hard as ever.

Still in shock that Mouch had caught him, but also relieved that Casey didn’t seem to mind, Severide opened the door, entering the office as Casey continued to try to breathe through fits of laughter.

Slowly, Matt managed to regain control of his breath, glancing up at Severide as his eyes glinted, “I can think of something that tastes better than banana…”

Without another word, the door to Casey’s office locked.   


	18. Ceremony

Severide stood to attention as Boden walked past, jutting his chin out and looking on in his pride. The battalion chief was receiving an award of valor for one of their most recent calls, something which everyone was ecstatic over. Boden was never one to be proud, but even he had been gushing as they had celebrated at Molly’s the previous night, and Severide knew for a fact that Boden was at least slightly hung over.

The ceremony was taking place at the firehouse, the portable stage once again set up in the driveway. It was a warm day, though not uncomfortable hot, and the overall appearance had encouraged much of the press to make an appearance.

Kelly was standing off to the side, looking on. His rank as Lieutenant put him at the front of the company and on the right. Herrmann was stood at his left. Had Casey been standing with them, he would have been to Severide’s right, as he outranked him as Captain.

But Casey wasn’t standing with them, because he was at the front. In all the hype about Boden receiving the award, everyone had forgotten that Casey had already received an award of Valor. But the blonde hadn’t said anything, of course, not that Severide was surprised. There would be no way the blonde would detract any attention from the Chief. He had been his usual quiet self as he’d congratulated the chief, and had smiled as he bought Boden a few rounds of drinks. He hadn’t had any himself, but then Casey usually didn’t drink the night before shift.

Boden took his place at the front of the stage, and saluted the CFD white shirts, as well as the rank of men that Casey was in. The angle that Severide was standing at made it difficult to see Casey, but he knew that the blonde would have the same stoic expression as ever. Casey would no doubt be taking the press presence seriously, and either way, the blonde was always very serious when it came to ceremonial procedures.

The ceremony started, and Kelly was allowed to stand at ease. Casey, being on stage, was required to stand at attention the entire time, something Severide didn’t envy. He’d already noticed that Casey was the youngest on stage by a good twenty years, and though there were other captains, it was definitely the lowest rank.

Kelly hadn’t even realised how impressive it was that Casey had received the medal while he was only a Lieutenant.

One of Boden’s older friends started a speech, talking about old time in the CFD. Casey was also to make a speech – and while Severide knew that he and Herrmann might’ve been invited, the CFD had protocol as old as time that prevented them from being able to speak.

Kelly let his eyes flitter to the blonde, seeing that sweat was beading his brow. And while he did feel a pang of sympathy for the blonde, he was definatly going to rib him about it later.

A light applause went up, as did the shutter of the cameras. Quickly, Severide looked back to the front, knowing that he should be looking at Boden and not Casey.

Someone else took his place, and Kelly realised that had Benny still been alive, he probably would be making a speech as well. A wave of sadness washed over him. Even if he’d never been close to his dad, he sometimes still felt overwhelmingly sad at times. Before that feeling could overwhelm him, though, he glanced over to Casey again.

It worked, because his sadness was quickly replaced with concern. The blonde had gone extremely pale, and rivulets of sweat were running down his neck. He still had his same stoic expression, but Severide could see that Matt seemed uncomfortable.

It wasn’t too much longer before Casey had to give his speech, so Severide hoped that the captain would hold out and would feel better once blood started circulating through his legs again.

But as he continued to shoot fleeting glances in the blonde’s direction, he got the impression that there was more than just that wrong.

Matt had now clenched his jaw tightly and had gone as white as a sheet. He was still standing straight, but Severide was able to see that he was shaking slightly, consciously putting effort into holding his head and shoulders straight. Every few seconds, he would close his eyes and then readjust his jaw, breathing deeply through his nose.

Kelly was now overwhelmed with concern, and he continued to watch – media be damned – as Matt swayed slightly, quickly righting himself and trying to remain stoic. He’d lost all the colour he had, and Severide realised something was actually wrong.

Looking back to the front of the stage, Severide realised Boden had noticed as well. The man was at attention, aware that all eyes were focused on him, but as Kelly caught his gaze, Boden moved his eyes across to Casey. Kelly gave a quick nod. If Boden was worried, he was too.

It wasn’t long until Casey needed to make a speech now, and Kelly was trying to work out if it would do the blonde good, or if he should try to do something to make an excuse for him. But he was drawn from his thoughts as Matt swayed again, almost having to reposition his feet to keep from pitching to the side, before quickly righting himself.

This time, though, he took a while longer to open his eyes and his mouth hung open as he tried to breathe.

The man next to Matt had noticed, as well, and gave the truck captain a dirty look. It was fleeting, and didn’t last long at all, but it was enough for Kelly to see it. Severide felt his blood boil, slightly. Matt clearly wasn’t well.

Kelly watched, helpless, as Matt squeezed his eyes shut. The blonde was clearly in some living hell, and Kelly knew he couldn’t do much about it. But he decided that as soon as the ceremony was over, he was going to make sure Casey sat down and had some cold water.

But as Casey swayed _again_ , Severide realised he wasn’t going to last that long. The blonde righted himself a final time, but he didn’t open his eyes, and he swallowed convulsing.

And then Kelly watched in dismay as the last of the colour drained from Casey’s face, and his eyes rolled up into the back of his head.

Without giving it a second thought, Kelly left his place in line and took the five steps between him and Casey. It wasn’t a moment too soon, either, because Matt had already started crumpling, unable to keep himself conscious any longer. Severide had barely managed to get his arms around the blonde’s shoulders as Matt collapsed against him.

Casey’s dead weight brought Kelly to his knees, smacking them painfully against the hard wood of the stage. Casey’s torso then collapsed against Kelly’s, the truck captain still been very much unconscious.

Kelly was aware of the heat radiating off Casey’s frame as he struggled to balance them, making an effort to not fall over backwards.

The shutter of the press’s cameras sounded, bright lights flashing, but Kelly didn’t have it in himself to be angry, Casey was more important.

Matt groaned against him, eyes fluttering slightly.

“Hey, bud, you with us?”

Matt’s eyes fluttered again, then rolled back into his head. Casey started retching against him, and Severide was aware of the puke making its way down his chest. His immediate reaction was concern, though, attempting to readjust Casey to make him more comfortable rather than adjusting his aim.

He was grateful, though, when strong arms took Casey’s shoulders, helping him sit up and aim between his legs as Matt continued heaving.

The respite from taking Casey’s weight allowed Severide to look at him. Casey was still pale, and his eyes were rolled up in the back of his head as he heaved over and over. He realised that Boden was the one holding him up, and glanced up at the chief in concern, seeing the emotion reflected in Boden’s features.

Casey stopped heaving, but he was still completely limp. His eyes were only open to slits, and Severide could see he wasn’t really aware of where he was. Slowly, Boden lowered him to the ground, carefully adjusting him into the recovery position.

Not that Matt was settled, Severide quickly put a hand to his forehead. Casey was hot, _really_ hot, and Severide knew that it wasn’t just the summer sun. Casey must be sick as well. He glanced up to Boden in concern, “Chief, he’s burning up…”

The fire chief nodded, the ceremony seemingly forgotten, “We should get his jacket off…”

Severide nodded, but as soon as he moved towards Casey’s coat – grimacing at the feel of the vomit down his front – Casey stirred, moaning as his eyes flittered open again.

Kelly quickly dropped down lower, gaining eye contact with Casey, “Hey, Case? How’re you feeling?”

Matt stared at him with a blank expression for a moment, before he groaned, another gag making its way up his throat. Knowing that they were about to have a repeat of earlier, Severide took Matt’s shoulders and hauled him back up.

Casey swallowed confusingly once again, before he started dry retching. Kelly rubbed his arms gently and instinctively started to whisper reassurances as Matt continued to heave without bringing anything up, tears streaming down his face. Boden had even dared to come closer, loosening Casey’s tie and giving him room to breathe.  

Casey was still retching slightly as he leant against Severide, and Kelly became aware that the blonde captain was trying to say something between his heaves. He frowned and leaned in – aware that Boden was listening as well – and his heart went out as he realised Casey was apologizing.

“M’s’rr.. m’s’rr…”

Boden was amazingly parental as he shook his head and shushed him, rubbing his shoulder, “S’okay, Casey. S’okay…”

Casey coughed the last of the bile up, closing his eyes and swaying. He pulled away from Severide, though, swaying but managing to keep himself upright. He looked utterly miserable, and tears continued to run down his face.

“M’so sorry… I’m so sorry…”

Boden once again rubbed his shoulder as he tried to calm the truck captain down, telling him it didn’t matter.

But Matt shook his head in misery, desperately trying to slur out another apology, “No… m’so sorry, Chief… so sorry…”

Boden firmly clutched his shoulder, “Matt. It’s okay. Your health is more important.”

Even though he looked as though he was going to argue again, Matt just slumped against his own knee, coughing once again and letting out a strained whimper. Severide firmly ran a hand up and down his back again.

“Hey, Case? Can we get the jacket off… think you’re overheated…”

Matt nodded marginally, and quickly helped him out of the heavy dress coat, his white dress shirt completely soaked with sweat. Matt was clearly aware enough that he was now embarrassed, and Severide decided to get Matt out of there.

“Hey, bud? Think you’re up for a walk? Get you in your bunk…”

Matt didn’t reply, but as Severide took his arm, he was cooperative and stood. Boden helped stabilise him when Casey swayed, extremely dizzy, and Severide quickly wrapped an arm under his shoulders. They were both already covered in puke, so Kelly didn’t care.

Matt stumbled the entire way to the bunk room, sweating heavily once again. He was clearly very dizzy, and Severide tried to hide his concern as he sat him on his bunk.

Almost immeaditely, Casey hung his head between his knees, body tensing as he heaved. Kelly was quick to shove his wastepaper basket under his mouth, but nothing was coming up anyway. Casey was just in his personal hell.

“Easy, bud… easy…”

Matt didn’t respond, still chocking on the bile that was coming up his throat, tears once again running down his face. Severide moved to the drawer he knew Casey kept spare clothes in, picking out one of the captain’s t-shirts that Casey never wore. It would be more comfortable than one of his polos. He also dug out the most comfortable-looking pair of pants that Matt had.

“Hey, Case? Want to get changed?”

Matt glanced up, only then processing that both he and Severide were covered in his puke. Casey’s eyes widened in absolute horror, and his eyes filled once again with tears, “Oh… Sev. I’m sorry… so, so sorry…”

Kelly just shook his head, moving to reassure him as quickly as he could, “It’s fine, Matt. Seriously. It’s fine.”

Matt sobbed once, hanging his head and nodding. As carefully as he could, Kelly helped him get dressed, wishing that he had thought ahead and brought in a cloth to clean some of the sweat off. But with the way Matt was still sweating, he knew it would only be a temporary fix.

There was a timid knock at the door, and Kelly turned to see Brett holding the jump bag, already stacked up with an IV. A brief look at Matt told him that even if the blonde wanted to be left alone, he needed medical attention.

He waved Brett in, smiling as she moved closer to Casey. Matt tiredly raised his head, and Kelly just knew that no matter how ill he was feeling, no matter how embarrassed, he was going to be collaborative. Brett turned back to him, telling him to get changed she sorted Matt out. He thought about it for a moment, but Matt gave him a brief nod.

 “Yeah, okay. I’ll be back, Case.”

He darted back to his office, quickly stripping the puke covered clothes off – grimacing and almost gagging himself – and watched Matt through the window as Brett attended to him. Matt was nodding and speaking to her, maintaining his usual polite demeanor. Brett had already given him an IV, and put a cooling ice pack over his forehead, and as Severide watched, she quickly injected him with something else.

Deciding to make his way back to Casey’s, he slid his shirt over his head. Brett was still speaking to him, telling him that _bed rest_ and fluids were going to help him. She smiled as she addressed Severide, telling him that Casey was suffering from heat stroke and dehydration, which had been brought on by a stomach bug Casey admitted he had.

Severide frowned in concern, knowing that Casey was probably pretty sick before he’d even made it to shift, and nodded. Once Casey had finished the saline bag, he could probably go home, and provided he rested and kept cool, he should be fine. Severide of course was going to bring Casey home and look after him, but it was still relieved that Matt was going to be fine.

With that, she left, and Severide cast an eye over Casey. Matt still looked miserable, and Kelly didn’t want to do anything to make it any worse.

“Lie down, Case. Get some rest then we can bust you out of here.”

Slowly, Casey nodded, but not before he slurred, “Boden?”

“Boden’s fine, Case. He isn’t mad. You didn’t do this on purpose.”

Matt did look as though he was about to protest, but he was too tired. He felt a wave of exhaustion wash over his body, and he couldn’t stop his eyes closing. Gently, Kelly moved forwards and helped lower him to the bed, helping Matt adjust the IV so it was comfortable against his arm. He wasn’t about to admit it but getting out of the sun had done wonders. He was already cooling down, the air conditioner in the firehouse was strong, and removing his dress blues had made him significantly more comfortable.  

Kelly watched until Matt was asleep, before turning around and seeing Boden standing in the doorway. Like he had expected, Boden looked concerned, and not in the least bit annoyed. Comforted by the knowledge that Casey was going to stay asleep for a while, Severide quietly moved back into the bunk room.

“How’s Casey?”

Kelly glanced back to Matt’s sleeping form, “Brett says a combination of heat stroke, dehydration and stomach flu… says he’ll be fine after a rest. He’s going to finish off that bag and then I was hoping to take him home…”

Boden nodded, not caring that he had to call in two replacements, “Of course. And mentally?”

Severide paused, “He’s going to take a while to stop feeling guilty… you know Casey…”

The fire chief nodded, knowing that there wasn’t much to say. The CFD was already trying to reduce leakage to the press, and either way, they were hopeful that the public was going to be sympathetic towards the blonde firefighter.

“And you, Chief?”

Boden looked at Kelly for a moment, eyeing him up before nodding, “They’re going to move the ceremony to a later date. Haven’t got a direct confirmation yet… Casey has nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Thanks, chief…”

Boden nodded, pausing as Casey stirred, moaning and rolling over. Severide motioned back to the office, indicating that he was going back in, and Boden nodded his consent.

Softly, Severide sat down beside Casey, doing his best to smile at the younger man, “Don’t worry about anything, Case. Just rest.”

Slowly, Matt’s eyes slipped shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this was inspired and written from a comment from CottonCandyWhump... 
> 
> and it escalated from there...


	19. Animosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I knocked this one on the train on the way home... quite a bit shorter than I'm used too, but hopefully still sweet!

Casey sniffled as he drew his fleece tighter around his shoulders. In truth, he felt like crap. The headache he’d had since morning was intensifying, and his eyes had started to ache. His body couldn't seem to decide if it was cold or hot, and his throat had started to burn enough that he could barely swallow. The cough was getting worse as well, and the sneezing did nothing to abate the stuffiness.

He knew that Boden would probably send him home soon, but for now, he could at least get ahead with his paperwork.

He heard rather than saw the door slam, and he didn’t need to look up to know that it was Kelly. He sighed. He wanted everything to go back to normal with the man. But it had only been two weeks since Darden had gone through that window, and Casey felt as though he was never going to get there.

Which hurt.

He paused as Severide stalked out of the room, moving away from him. At one time, he would have wanted Kelly to be close. Wanted Kelly to be near to make him feel at least a little better. But now, he was relieved he didn’t have to argue with him.

Because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to take it.

He wiped his nose with the increasingly dirty tissue, it’s scratchiness reminding him of how raw the poor thing already was. Squeezing the bridge of his nose to try to abate the headache, he actually considered calling it quits and going to Boden.

But he froze as the bunk room doors banged open again. Severide was approaching him, carrying a mug in one hand, and Casey resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He wondered what Kelly was going to have a go at him for now. He really couldn’t be bothered with this.

Kelly opened his door without knocking – not that he’d ever had to knock, at least until two weeks ago – and when Casey tiredly glanced up at him, he paused.

Slowly, almost as though he was afraid of Casey’s reaction, he put the mug down, and even through the congestion, Casey could smell the lemon and honey.

“I heard you sniffing…”

Kelly trailed off, looking Casey over. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried for his brother, and there might’ve been a time he bundled the blonde into bed.

But right now, he knew the blonde hated him. And he could hardly blame him.

Casey was still looking down at the tea, and slowly, he glanced up. He was half expecting Kelly to say something, to spoil the moment, but his former best friend just looked at him.

Slowly, Casey nodded, wrapping a hand around the mug and resisting the urge to moan at its warmth, “Thanks.”

Severide nodded back, “Don’t mention it.”

He stayed in the doorway for another second, before nodding once again, and then retreating.

Casey continued to stare at the door. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope.


	20. He Cares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered whether or not to post this... kind of a follow on from the last chapter, though I like where I left it so this ones optional :P

Casey moaned slightly as he rolled over, flopping onto his belly as he kicked the covers off. His entire frame was aching, and he his head pounded in time with his heartbeat. He sprawled his arms out, trying to cool himself off while ignoring the niggling thought that he’d soon be cold. He’d have to deal with that later.

Not long after Severide had brought him tea, a quiet Boden had entered his office. Casey was clearly unwell, and the fire chief was sympathetic – reluctant even – as he sent him home. The chief knew that Casey was still having a hard time, and he also knew that his relationship with Hallie had deteriorated. But he couldn’t have germs being spread around the firehouse, and Casey was of no use there.

Since getting home, though, Matt had just crawled into bed, too tired to think about medication. But since his fever had risen, and he just felt too weak to bother. No matter what his body was doing, he wasn’t comfortable, he was completely congested, his eyes were running, and he was miserable.

On some level, he knew he should be getting up. It wasn’t like Hallie was coming home to look after him, and either way, he knew he shouldn’t be reliant on her. He wasn’t reliant on people. He didn’t have that right. He hadn’t been dealt that hand. He didn’t deserve it.

Whether he wanted it or not.

He was caught in a coughing fit, rolling over onto his side as he tried to catch his breath. His cough was brutal, and bitter mucous filled his mouth. Chills then took over, and he moaned as he sat up to pull the covers back over his shaking body.

Then he heard a knock.

Matt froze, not entirely sure that he’d heard right. He was still sitting upright, covers bunched in his hands, but he paused as he listened.

There it was again.

He glanced across to his clock, seeing that it was now an hour after shift change. That greatly increased the pool of people it could be, though he honestly wasn’t sure who cared enough. Boden had seemed concerned, sure, but he could hardly see his battalion chief coming to nurse him. Herrmann might be paternal – and he knew that he’d been the one to go to Boden in the first place – but he had a family, Casey wasn’t worth the effort.

Anyone else on truck had their own lives, and it wasn’t as though he’d been friendly with them anyway. He could hardly blame him.

And even if someone had told Hallie, he doubted she’d come and check on him. Besides, he didn’t want to deal with that.

Coughing again, Matt let his thoughts drift. There was once a time where both Andy and Kelly would have been at his door, movies in hand and ready to spend time with him. It had happened when they’d been in the academy – all taking turns with being sick – and once when he’d just been instated as Lieutenant, with both Andy and Severide invading his bunk and getting him comfortable until shift change. Casey missed it. He missed it a lot.

But he was part to blame.

Tears prickled his eyes, making his nose run even harder. Before his emotions could get even more out of control, though, there was another knock at the door. Or rather, a loud thumping. It sounded insistent, and Casey coughed as he crawled out of bed, barely able to make a sound as he rasped, “I’m coming.”

He was dizzy as he walked down the hall, unable to touch the walls because then he’d have to sand them again, but he finally arrived at the door, gabbing the handle tightly. He was still dizzy as he peered through the peephole.

But that wasn’t the reason he almost fell back.

Kelly seemingly hadn’t realised he was on the oppisite side of the door, because he looked worried as he raised his fist again, thumping loudly and shouting, “Casey. If you don’t answer, I’ll break the door – “

Wincing at the headache, he unlocked the door and pulled it open, Kelly’s fist coming towards him as Kelly continued to knock, eyes widening in surprise as he saw Casey. Matt looked like crap. He was pale and his eyes were red, but more so, the blonde looked shocked. 

Kelly awkwardly shuffled, readjusting the bags in his hand. When Boden had announced that Casey was sick and that Herrmann was in charge, Kelly had left the room, not wanting to get caught up in the concerned conversation. He was worried about his friend, but Casey had Hallie to look after him. So, he had no reason to care. He didn’t care.

But then he’d seen Herrmann catch up with the Chief, and overheard him saying something about Casey living alone in a fix-up. He’d then asked Herrmann about it, knowing that he deserved the arduous expression that he received, and the older man had explained that Casey had moved out almost three weeks ago. That had stung. He’d had no idea.   

Matt was still staring at him, eyes wide. Both were at a loss for what to say.

Kelly wracked his brain, but cringed when all he could come up with was, “Are you going to let me in?”

The blonde paused, and for a moment, Kelly wondered if he was going to tell him to leave, but slowly, the blonde stepped back, holding the door open as he allowed Kelly to enter.

As he walked in, Kelly glanced around. He could see that the place was nice – or would be nice, once it was fixed up. As it was, the walls were stripped of paint, only the corners filled with primer, and tools were strewn everywhere. They were neat, sure, but it didn’t stop the place looking uncomfortable.

There was no furniture, either, only small portable tables. Which Kelly understood, there was no point putting nice things in until the place was done.

He heard Casey cough behind him, and turned to see him leaning against the counter, pale and sweating, “I like what you’re… doing… with the place.”

Casey’s eyebrows shot up, not sure if he should take it as an insult. It didn’t sound like it was intended as one, but with how Kelly had been recently… and given that he had killed their best friend…

Casey was about to respond, but dizziness suddenly washed over him, and he had to grab the table as he closed his eyes. Kelly quickly put the bags down and grabbed Casey’s arm, making sure he didn’t fall. Matt flinched, and Kelly felt his heart sink. Did the blonde really think he’d hit him?

Well, okay, he had. But when he was sick?

Casting a concerned eye over him, he took in his appearance. Matt was whiter than before and sweat was dribbling down his back. He wavered again, and quickly, Kelly sat him down on the chair.

Almost immeaditely, he was doubled over coughing, and Kelly quickly squatted down, patting him on the back, finding a rhythm that helped abate the coughing. After he was done, Casey looked exhausted, panting as a hand felt his throat.

Slowly, his red-rimmed eyes found Kelly’s, “Why are you here?”

Kelly didn’t take it as an insult, he could see how sick Matt was, and the blonde sounded exhausted, “You’re sick.”

Casey stared up at him, croaking, “I’m probably contagious.”

Kelly just shrugged, “Might get me a shift off.”

Both of them knew that that wasn’t appealing, and for multiple reasons. They both loved working, it was part of them as much as everything else, and now with Darden’s death, the distraction was appreciated.

Matt started coughing again, doubling over and covering his mouth with his elbow. Even feeling shitty, Casey’s manors were immaculate. Kelly quickly started tapping him on the back, wincing at the sound coming from the blonde.

“Have you taken anything for that?”

Miserably, Casey shook his head. Kelly raised an eyebrow, glad that Boden had told him that Matt and Hallie were no longer engaged. He stood up, offering a hand to Casey, beckoning him when he just stared at it. Slowly, Casey gripped his wrist and hauled himself up, grateful when Kelly wrapped an arm around his shoulder, “Thanks.”

Severide waved it off, “Get into bed, I’ll bring you something… or do you need help?”

Casey slowly shook his head, but he didn’t pull away from Severide, enjoying the contact he’d been longing for. The contact that he’d hoped for since Darden’s death. Kelly waited for a moment, “Bud. I don’t know where your room is.”

Matt weakly opened his eyes, before stumbling slightly. But Kelly didn’t let him go, walking with him as Matt returned to his bed. He winced at the state of the room, seeing tissues already strewn around and the covers in disarray.

Slowly, Matt stumbled out of his grasp, almost collapsing to the mattress as his knees hit it. He resisted the urge to curl up, instead turning around facing his former friend, trying to ascertain why he was here, “You know, you don’t need to do this.”

Kelly shrugged, wincing, “You’d do it for me.”

So they weren’t going to talk about Andy, then. Matt just nodded, letting out a slight cough, and Kelly motioned that he was heading back into the kitchen. Casey didn’t move for a moment, but then his body shook and he pulled the sheets around him, drawing them up to his head and burying his face in the pillow.

He must’ve drifted off, because the next thing he knew, something cool was touching his exposed neck. Unable to stop himself from groaning, he rolled over, feeling a hand lightly touch his back. His eyes flittered open, seeing Kelly sitting over him, watching him with a look of complete concern. Matt coughed, not managing to cover his mouth, but Kelly didn’t say anything, just smoothed his hair back.

“I got you some meds, bud… you need to get that fever down.”

Weakly, Casey peered around, looking at the tablets Kelly had brought from the kitchen. The packets were all new, and name-brand, not the generic ones that Casey always bought. Kelly had gone to the pharmacy.

Matt just remained on his back, head tilted towards Severide and blinking tiredly. His mind was still reeling, not entirely sure what to make of the situation. He couldn’t for the life of him work out why Kelly was here. He winced as another burst of heat went through him. It was entirely possible he was delirious.

Gently, Kelly’s hand came to his shoulder, pulling him up to a sitting position. Matt numbly took the pills Kelly handed him, popping them in his mouth before sipping from the cup Kelly held to his lips. He wanted to talk, wanted to apologise, but wave after wave of exhaustion was rushing over him.

He felt Kelly manhandle him, so he was lying back down, once again shaking with chills. The blankets were drawn over his shoulders, tucked under his chin. And before Casey could find the right words, he had drifted off.

* * *

He woke two hours later, feeling achy, exhausted, and weak. His chest was aching painfully, throat burning as well, and the headache was as bad as ever. The chills hadn’t gone anywhere and seemed to be occurring simultaneously with the sweats. Something the EMT in him yelled should not be happening.

The apartment was silent, and he blinked lethargically, wondering if Severide coming to look after him had only been a dream. But as he turned his head towards his dresser, he spotted the boxes of meds.

And the sight was more of a relief than any of the drugs had been.  


	21. Being Held

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I must be feeling really mean... I wanted to end this differently, have ummed and ahhed for months... but I thought this was the only way. So I did it. I still feel terrible though.

Casey loved to be held. He loved nothing more than to drag his knees to his chest and wedge himself under Kelly’s chin. He would bury his face into Kelly’s neck, and savour the feeling of Severide’s arms around him. He’d make contented noises as he’d drift off to sleep, and Severide knew those nights were the best rests either of them got. Because Kelly loved to hold his boy, loved to make him feel loved.

It had first happened on the anniversary of Hallie’s death. Severide knew how much Hallie had meant to Casey – they’d been engaged dammit – and he wasn’t in any way threatened by it. He knew his boy struggled on that day, knew he longed for times that were lost too soon. On that day, Casey always made a point of honoring Hallie’s memory, something Severide was more than happy to help him do. That year, they’d volunteered at one of the clinics she’d worked at, doing some basic construction repairs. The clinic had been insanely grateful, and Severide had just been happy to know his boy had felt fulfilled.

Once they’d got home – after eating at Hallie’s favourite diner – they’d watched the films that Hallie had watched a dozen times, Casey subbing in her commentary. Severide had heard it all before, but if Casey wanted to speak, he wasn’t going to deny him. It calmed his boy, and besides, he loved hearing his voice.

It wasn’t until they’d gone to bed that it got tough. Kelly knew it was the hardest time, when Casey was thinking about all he’d lost. Casey rarely cried, but there were always tears in his eyes on that night. Casey had been the one to curl up and wedge himself in Severide’s arms, and Kelly had been the one to pull him in tightly. Casey had relaxed and slept peacefully in his arms, and Severide knew that Casey being held was a need.

So, from that moment on, it became a constant in their relationship.

From mediocre things, like watching the TV together, too bigger moments in their lives.

When Kelly had fallen through two stories, and his severely swollen spleen had earned him a hospital stay, he’d held Matt’s hand and pulled him onto the bed next to him to stop him fretting.

When Casey had gotten the news that Nancy Casey had died, and he’d been busy trashing their apartment, Severide had approached him from behind and secured an arm around him.

When Severide had been driving and they’d been side-swiped, Kelly had brought him in as the paramedics told them how lucky they’d been.

When Matt had come down with the flu from hell, and his miserable coughing had kept him up all night, Severide had bundled a blanket around his back and held him until he finally drifted off.

When Kelly had been in a bar fight, and Casey had been concerned about his swollen eye, he’d wrapped his arms around him and told him it didn’t hurt.

When Casey hit his head again, and he was lost and confused, unable to tell up from down, Kelly grounded him.

When Kelly had drunk way too much, and his entire world was swaying, Matt had been his rock.

When Casey got his diagnosis, and they knew that cancer was bad, Severide climbed on the bed squeezed him tight.

When Kelly had thrown up, because the chemo wasn’t working, and they couldn’t do anything more for Casey, he wiped off his mouth and then held him tight.

When Casey was in so much pain, was suffering so much, Severide stroked his back, told him it was okay, told him he could let go.

When Kelly stood beside his headstone, there was no one left to hold.


	22. Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt like a right arse after the last chapter... so here's a little fluff to even it out (that said, the angst couldn't help but creep back in...) 
> 
> No plot, just fluff :)

Kelly smiled over at his blonde beauty. The man in question was curled up on the couch, knees tucked to his chest, one arm dangling off the side. His head was angled back on the pillow, the back of his head leaning against the couch cushions, which gave Severide the perfect view of his face. He looked content. Content and peaceful – which was an expression that was too rare on the Captain’s face.

Though, it was definitely becoming more and more confident as time went by.

It had been a long shift. At least, it had been a long shift for Truck. They’d been up the whole night on calls, something that was complained loudly about in the locker room that morning. Casey hadn’t said anything, of course, had just smiled softly to his boyfriend and held his hand as they walked out. Everyone knew about their relationship, even if they chose to be subtle about it.

Then they’d returned home for their post-shift nap. Though Severide wasn’t that tired – he would stay up whenever Casey was called out, but Matt knew it and would send him a text reassuring him that it was just a minor accident, just someone stuck, just a small grease fire… and that he was safe. Kelly would then fall asleep, clutching his phone, waiting for Matt to return.

Casey would then smile to himself as he checked in on his sleeping boyfriend, would adjust the covers over him and put his phone on the desk.

When they’d finally got away from the firehouse, Severide had been quick to push Matt onto the couch, throwing blankets over him and kissing him on the forehead. Casey had been tired enough that he accepted the fuss, and had even requested a cup of hot chocolate, which Kelly had dashed away to make.

Now he was standing over Casey’s sleeping frame, smiling at the sight. Casey was utterly perfect, he was so kind, so caring. He’d always put others before himself, even if he had never met them before. He always stood up for what was right, even if it put his life or career in danger.

Even though Matt seemed so serious – and he was, he was stoic – Casey actually had a really funny side, a kind of subtle humour that only those close to him could really appriciate. Casey had a dirty mind, too. Again, something Severide suspected only he knew about.

And he was damn protective. Something which frustrated and turned Kelly on in equal proportions. On one hand, he was a man. He could look after himself and didn’t need Casey to defend him. But he also found it hot. Casey looked so sexy when he was defensive, and he often had to resist the urge to bundle him in his arms and squeeze him tight.

He also had an overwhelming urge to protect Casey, and they had both joked about fighting each other for the honour of defending each other.

Loving Casey had its challenges, sure. He’d never properely dealt with his family, and he’d gone through hell while he was still a child. It had its effects. Aside from the mild PTSD that he suffered from, that caused nightmares and panic attacks, he’d never really learnt to deal with his emotions. He’d bury them, and they’d simmer under the surface. Then, when they boiled over, it wasn’t pretty. His anger could be uncontrollable, the patches on the wall could attest to that. But Matt was learning to control it, learning that talking could stop them from becoming so overwhelming. It had been hard for him, and Severide realised that it was because he’d never really had someone to listen to him.

But Severide would listen to Casey talk about anything.

He settled the mug on the table, kneeling down beside Matt and smiling to himself. Matt was so selfless. He was so caring. He was _perfect._

Without opening his eyes, Casey chuckled, “I love you too, Sev.”

Severide hadn’t even realised that he’d woken Casey up, but slowly, the blonde opened his baby blue eyes. The adorable smile once again washed over his face, and Casey adjusted himself on the pillows, staring up at Kelly with sleep drunk eyes, “Because… you’re the most beautiful… person and… I love you.”

Kelly couldn’t stop smiling, and he gently leant down, kissing his forehead and stroking his hair back. He was hoping that Casey would go back to sleep, that he could get a couple more hour’s rest. But Casey grabbed a fistful of Severide’s shirt and dragged him closer, “Mmmmm.”

Chuckling again, because Casey could get really possessive when he wanted, Severide gently eased himself down, awkwardly crouching beside Casey, “I’m here, Case… go to sleep, baby.”

But Casey had other plans, and he moaned, tugging Severide’s arm harder and pulling him further down, trying to get him on the couch. Chuckling _again_ he kissed him on the forehead, before bending down and bundling him against his chest. He stood, holding Casey close, before carefully lowering himself onto the couch and cradling Casey in his arms.

Matt purred contentedly, nuzzling into Kelly’s neck and adjusting himself. Kelly kept his arms around the blonde, holding him close and tight as Casey relaxed into him, flattening himself so their legs were entwined and their chests were warm against each other.

“I love you, Kel.”

The sentence was more a moan than anything else, but Kelly understood it and squeezed him again, “I love you too, Case.”


	23. Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being a lot longer than expected... but eh...

Casey dragged his eyes open as his phone started to buzz, slowly rolling over so he could reach it. His eyes tightened at the movement, but as soon as he saw the caller ID, he couldn’t help but smile. Kelly was calling.

Eyes flitting up to the time on the phone, Casey realised that Kelly would have just finished for the day. He’d spent the last week at some Squad conference in New Orleans, and was one of few Chicago officers who had been chosen to go. Casey was so proud of his boy, knowing how much of an honour it was, and how pleased Severide was.

And he knew for a fact that Kelly was enjoying it, that he thought it was great. He was learning a lot, even if it was exhausting. He’d been teasing Casey – everyone – about the beautiful New Orleans weather, having escaped the most bitterly cold weeks of the Chicago winter.

Of course, Severide hated that he’d had to leave Matt alone in Chicago, and had even tried to take him with him, arguing that the truck captain would be able to pick up things as well. But the CFD nor Boden had embraced that, needing Casey to remain in Chicago. Both of them understood that, of course, it had been a long shot in the first place.

So, Kelly had been calling Casey with every opportunity he got, checking how things were in Chicago, and then going off on a tangent about something he’d just learnt, some amazing experience he’d just had. Severide had always been the big talker in their relationship – at least, when it came to anything other than emotions, both were equally incompetent in that regard – but Casey didn’t mind, he was more than willing to listen to his boy speak.

As quickly as he could, Casey slid his finger over the screen, accepting the call and putting the phone to his ear, “Hey, Kel.”

He heard Kelly chuckle down the other end of the line, warm and tinkling, “Hey, baby, how are you? How was shift?”

The hardest thing about Kelly being away was that he couldn’t keep an eye on Casey, couldn’t keep him safe on calls Severide hated it, was constantly checking in on Matt to make sure he was okay.

And Matt couldn’t help but bite his lip. He was _fine,_ and there was no reason to worry Severide… but he still didn’t want to lie to him. But ‘fine’ still wasn’t that far a stretch from the truth, so Matt shrugged as he answered, “I’m good… it was fine. What did you do today?”

Kelly mustn’t have expected anything unusual about his answer, because he started talking about some new tech that he was eager to get for fifty-one. It was expensive, though, and he doubted that Boden would go for it. As far as funding went, the Chicago Fire Department wasn’t one of the wealthiest in the country. But Severide was eager to look into other options, and was already writing a proposal for fifty-one to test the gear before it went to other houses. He’d also managed to get some interest in the Slamigan and had sent them Cruz’s way.

Matt relaxed, already half asleep as he just enjoyed hearing the sound of Severide’s voice. He was so happy that Kelly was pumped, because Kelly deserved every happy moment he got. He loved Severide so much and knowing that he was having a good time warmed him up inside.

He could hear the smirk in Kelly’s voice as he uttered; “Also… it’s nice and warm here… you’d never even know it’s winter.”

Snorting, Casey adjusted himself against the pillows, “Ah. I was wondering when you’d start bragging about that again…”

“Me? Bragging? Never.”

He didn’t need to see Kelly’s face to see the mock pout, and Casey chuckled even at the mental image, eyes slipping closed in exhaustion, “Not the great Kelly Severide… he’d never brag at all… because he doesn’t have anything to brag about…”

“Oi!”

Laughter bubbled down the phone, and Casey smiled happily as he leant back. Just hearing Severide’s voice made him feel so much better. And he could almost imagine Kelly’s fingers running through his hair, scratching his scalp and rubbing his hands…

The phone almost started dropping away from his ear when Kelly’s voice once again reverberated down the line, almost making him jump, “Seriously… how is the weather treating you? I looked at the forecast… it doesn’t look nice. I don’t envy you at all…”

“Eh… classic Chicago weather. You’re not missing out on much, babe… trust me…”

He heard Kelly take a breath to reply, but at that exact moment, a shrill alarm started ringing to his left. Casey closed his eyes and groaned. Between the two of them, they’d spent enough time at Med to recognise the sounds of a heart rate monitor giving an alert.

_Maybe he can’t hear it properely?_

But Casey knew he could. And that was quickly confirmed by the fear in Severide’s voice, “Matty? What is that?”

Praying that the alarms would stop soon and that he’d somehow be able to reassure Severide without downright lying to him, Casey raised his head and watched. Doctors were already moving around the bay next to him, causing the curtains to ripple. And as he watched, the alarm gave way to a code, calling attention to the fact that the person’s heart was no longer beating.

And as terrible as Casey felt hearing it, as bad as he felt for the person on the other end of the monitor, Casey dropped his head back in frustration.

Dammit. He’d been doing so well.

“Matty? Matty, baby? What’s happening? Baby?!”

Severide sounded utterly terrified, and Casey realised that he had no way of knowing that it wasn’t Casey on the other end of the monitor. It probably sounded loud enough, and Kelly sounded as though he was about to be sick, “Case! Case, I –”

Casey kept his eyes closed as he cut in, “I’m okay.”

There was silence from Severide’s end for a minute, enough that Casey could have heard a pin drop, “Matty?”

Kelly still sounded utterly mortified, and to be fair, if the situation was reversed, Casey would be too. Matt heard the doctors call it and start moving away. And as terrible as he felt in that moment, there there was no reason to upset Severide, “They’re okay, Kel… dunno who they are but they’re okay…”

He wasn’t quite sure why that was the first thing that came out of his mouth, and judging by Severide’s unimpressed tone, Kelly hadn’t appreciated the update, “Matty, where the hell are you?”

Grimacing, even though he knew that Kelly couldn’t see it, Casey took a slow breath, “I’m at… Med?”

There was a lull, in which Kelly was totally silent. Casey could almost hear his heart beating, and it felt as though everything was moving in slow motion –

“What the _fuck_ , Casey!?”

Casey sighed. This was the exact reason he didn’t want to say anything to Kelly. He didn’t want his boy worrying over what he though was nothing, “Kelly, I’m okay –”

“You’re not fucking okay, Case! You’re in the hospital! You know what –”

He could hear Kelly crashing around, cupboards and drawers slamming and dragging. Casey groaned. Kelly had been enjoying the conference so much, and he’d just totally ruined it. He didn’t want Kelly to leave on behalf of him, “Kel… I’m okay… you don’t need to –”

Kelly was almost out of breath, probably on the boarder of hyperventilation, “You’re not fine! You’re – are you injured? You’re – are you still in the ED? Matt!”

Even though Kelly couldn’t see him, Casey found himself raising a hand to try to calm his boyfriend, “I’m okay, Kel. Everyone is. We’re all fine…”

Severide huffed, but sounded more resigned than anything, “Fine but at Med, Case? Matty… what happened?”

Somehow, despite the sounds of Kelly’s continued packing, despite how sick Casey felt, the humour of the situation came back to him, and Casey snorted, “Candidate isn’t allowed to cook lunch anymore.”

Kelly paused, clearly unamused, “What the hell does that mean, Casey? What happened? How’re you –”

Pressing a hand into his aching head, Casey took a slow breath, “I’m fine, Kel. Everyone’s fine… candidate undercooked the meat, and everyone got sick… chief sent us home.”

He heard Severide take a deep, shaking breath in, and Casey could practically see him, standing at a table, heads spread shoulder width apart, hanging his head and trying to calm himself down. Matt felt kind of bad for not telling him earlier, but he also knew that he would be fine by himself and that Kelly didn’t need to cut his trip short to be with him. He wanted Severide there, but he didn’t really need him to rub his back while he puked.

 “That doesn’t explain why you’re at Med, Matty.”

Heart breaking at how upset Kelly sounded, Casey let out a slow breath. He tried to sound as soothing as possible as he tried to explain, “It’s really not that bad… I went down to get the mail, and… tripped… neighbour called the ambulance, even though I didn’t need one –”

But that just brought the agitation straight back, “Tripped?! Matt – you didn’t… and didn’t need one? You fainted! That’s not – _Matt_.”

“I’m just mildly dehydrated, Sev… they gave me some fluids, and meds… I feel sick, but I’m going to be fine.”

In his mind’s eye, Severide was now sitting on the edge of his hotel bed, one hand over his face, the other clutching his phone. And sure enough, when Kelly next spoke, his voice was muffled, “Matty…”

He sounded so forlorn that Casey wanted to hug him, “Really, Kelly… I feel bad, but there’s nothing actually wrong with me. Believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

And Kelly knew that that was the truth. Casey might have avoided telling him and might still be downplaying how bad he was feeling, but if he was actually in danger, then Kelly would have known. He continued to listen to Casey’s breathing, allowing the steady pace to calm him.

“Why did no one call me?”

Unable to blame Kelly for the anger in his tone, because Casey if he’d found out that Kelly was in the hospital and no one had told him, he would be pissed off as well, “I was at home… everyone was at home, and from what I know everyone’s still there. No one called you because no one knows.”

He gave Kelly a moment to process that, because he already had a suspicion as to what was next, “No one knows? So, you’re alone?”

 The vulnerability in his voice made Casey soften, “I’m not here long, Kel… and everyone else is sick as well. It’s not a big deal… I’m fine, Kel. Really. I’m sick but I’m fine…”

Severide didn’t say anything, and Casey knew he wasn’t yet convinced, “Really… they gave me some anti-nausea meds and it worked wonders…  just need to ride the rest out. Probably even be back at work next shift.”

He had no idea why, but at the firehouse, the number of shifts that one needed off seemed to be a measure of how sick they were. It wasn’t really a fair judgement, because different things needed different recovery times… but the reassurance was still valid.

Kelly remained silent, and Casey started wracking his brain for what else he could say. He was still drawing blanks, though, when Kelly’s voice cut back down the line, “I’m coming home, Matty…”

Closing his eyes, Casey slumped back down, “Kelly… you really don’t need too…”

But Severide wasn’t having any of it, “Casey, I’m coming.”

Letting out a breath and trying to rationalize the situation, “Kel… you’re really enjoying it… you’re having a great time and learning a lot… I’m only going to be sick for what, another day? Then I’ll be fine… S’not worth it.”

“Baby, you’re in hospital. You’re sick. It’s worth it.”

Severide’s words were almost enough to get through to him, but Casey’s guilt was still yelling at him, he didn’t want to get in Kelly’s way, “You love that conference…”

“I love you more than the conference, Matty.”

He couldn’t argue with that, melting into the mattress and rubbing a hand into his belly, “… okay. If you’re sure, Kel…”

“I’m sure. There’s a flight to Chicago in half an hour… if I run now, I’ll see you in three.”

Matt nodded, then realised that Kelly couldn’t see that reaction, “I love you, Sevvy…”

Lightly, Severide chuckled, “I love you too, Matty… now rest. I’ll see you as soon as I get there…”

Casey really didn’t want to hang up, and Severide seemed to notice. He remained on the line as he shot a quick text to April, asking her to keep him updated on Casey and to look after him. He left the hotel room – he had never managed to pack his clothes, so he’d to have to get someone else to do it – and by the time he was hailing a cab, he could hear his boyfriend’s soft breaths. Armed with the knowledge that Casey was now sleeping, Kelly hung up and did his best to calm himself down as he mentally prepared himself for the flight ahead.

* * *

Severide walked into Med, immeaditely glancing around to try to locate his boyfriend. April had texted him saying that Casey was sleeping, and he hadn’t received anything since then. That told him that Casey was probably still at Med – and though that concerned him, he was glad that he would be there to take him home.

Sure enough, as soon as he walked in, April shot him a smile, directing him to one of the ER bays. He could see Casey curled on his side asleep, one arm wrapped protectively around his stomach. There was an emesis basin just near his head, and Casey had a single IV going into his hand – which was easy enough to identify as saline. The blonde was pale, eyes red-rimmed and dark even closed, but at least he seemed peaceful.

“Half an hour ago he started vomiting again… he got some more antiemetics and calmed down. They made him drowsy, though – which is a normal reaction. I’ll get Ethan, he’s Matt’s doctor.”

Severide nodded absently, distracted with the sight of his boy. He’d been so worried about Casey that he’d burned himself out on the plane, having almost made himself sick with worry. But now he was near his boy, and he could see that Matty was okay, that Matty wasn’t in pain, and he tapped into a nexus of calm.

Slowly, he moved the chair so he could sit beside him, taking in his pale features. There was a thin sheen of sweat on his brow, and his cheeks were slightly flushed… but otherwise, Casey looked more or less normal. He definatly didn’t look as sick as Severide had been imaging. But he still resisted the urge to touch him, knowing that Casey would probably wake. And he knew how much his boy hated vomiting, so the last thing he wanted was to rouse him and bring him right back into it.

He kept staring at Casey until there was a light knock on the bay door, and the curtain was drawn back. Choi offered Kelly a light smile, knowing Severide well enough to have an idea of the man’s emotions. Kelly stood, looking down at Casey one more time before moving towards him, not wanting their talk to wake the blonde up.

“He’s okay, Kelly. When he came in, he was pretty sick. But he’s already doing a lot better – he’ll be fine in a couple more hours.”

Kelly nodded, glancing back to Casey’s sleeping form. He hated the idea that Casey had been looking after himself while he was so ill, because he knew the blonde would have been miserable. Matt might not have ended up in the hospital if Kelly had been there, and that upset Kelly a great deal.

The stress came out as frustration as he scowled at Ethan, “I’m his medical proxy. Why didn’t you call me?”

Choi held up his hands in mock defeat, “Matt asked us not too. When he came in, he was miserable, but he was competent to make his own medical decisions. He was insistent that you were in Louisiana and were too far away.”

Kelly glanced back at Matt, knowing that it would be the truth. Of course, Matt would insist he was fine, because Matt was an idiot. So, it was up to the other people to stop Casey being an idiot. So, Kelly couldn’t stop himself pointing at Choi, “You know him. You should have called! You know what he’s like.”

And Choi did know what Casey was like. He also knew what Severide was like, which is how he managed to not get offended as he did his best to be reassuring, “I know. But you know that I can’t go against patient wishes –”

Severide mustered his best glare, “Hasn’t stopped you before.”

It was a low blow, but Ethan knew that he was just lashing out, that he was just beyond frustrated. Once again holding his hands up, he did his best to reassure Severide, “I’m sorry, Kelly –”

They were interrupted by the rustling of sheets behind them, and Kelly abruptly turned, letting out a breath at the sight of Matt holding his head up, peering at him with a tired smile. No matter how weak he looked, his smile always brightened the room, and Severide immeaditely knew he was where he needed to be.

“Kel?”

Quickly, Kelly moved to his side, smiling as Casey allowed his head to drop back down, eyes already half closing. Severide softly sat down, gently taking the hand without and IV and kissing Casey on the forehead. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ethan shift uncomfortably, clearly waiting to give him more information. So, he ran a soothing hand over Casey’s shoulder as he looked back up at the doctor expectantly, “So, he’s okay?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Matt nodding, but he just ignored him and kept looking to Choi, “Look… I wouldn’t be _unwilling_ to discharge Matt into your care, Kelly… but I would pause and think about it. Matt was quite dehydrated when he came in, and the vomiting is only being controlled by the meds we’re giving him… I’m sure you’d be able to keep him hydrated, Kelly, but I wouldn’t be discharging him if I didn’t already know you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Severide saw Casey groan, shifting in an attempt to not look so awful, “M’fine… Kel. You can take me home…”

Severide fixed Casey with a flat expression as he stared at him, “Shut up. I’m not listening to you.”

Casey whined, “Kel…”

Sounding sharper than he intended, Severide glared at his boyfriend, “Casey, you’ll be in absolute hell at home anyway… and here they can keep an eye on you. I’d feel so much better if you’re here, baby… and you will too.”

Casey pouted, but didn’t say anything else. He was slightly disappointed in himself. Pain, he could hide, could pretend to be fine and get released early. But nausea – especially when it was so severe, he had no option but to violently throw up – was apparent to everyone, so he had a much harder time pretending to be fine. Which annoyed him, because he’d much rather be in his own bathroom, curled around his own toilet seat, than and ER bay, even if they had been able to help with the nausea.

“At the moment I’m administering antiemetics as he needs them… if I can get Casey to the point that we can manage him on a low enough dose without risking him becoming dehydrated, I’d be much more comfortable sending him home…”

Kelly nodded, once again running a hand over Casey’s back soothingly, not missing his pout as the blonde heard his next words, “Yeah, we’ll do that…”

Choi nodded, “How is the nausea at the moment, Matt?”

Casey only responded by giving a weak thumbs up, not even raising his head, to which Choi raised an eyebrow and ordered Casey another dose of meds.

Severide still had one hand on Casey’s back as he glanced back up at the doctor, “Was anyone else admitted?”

Ethan understood. He was familiar with the sense of family, the sense of belonging that existed in a firehouse as much as it did in the army. Kelly’s worry for Casey was paramount, but of course he was also worried about his brothers, “No one else was admitted. From what I can understand… Casey was the sickest.”

Severide nodded, relaxing slightly at that news. But it was short lived, because as soon as he did, the unmistakable sound of a gag made its way up Casey’s throat, and the blonde whined as he pushed himself up. Kelly was quick to put a hand behind his back, helping him sit up as he pushed the basin in front of his mouth.

Casey continued to cough and gag, body trying to violently expel contents that were no longer there. He was heaving so violently that tears were running down his face, and Kelly felt helpless that he couldn’t do anything other than hold him.

As soon as Casey was done, he leant against Severide’s shoulder tiredly, relaxing as he felt Severide hand off the basin to a nurse, and then rub his arms gently. The contact with his boyfriend almost had him in tears, especially after hours of being so ill alone.

Severide just did his best to comfort Casey as the blonde continued to enjoy his contact, melting into his grip. Kelly knew he’d done the right thing with coming back to Chicago, even if he knew that he’d have to deal with some of Casey’s guilt later. He waited until Casey shifted, taking his weight off Severide and trying to lean back into the bed. Carefully, Kelly took his shoulders and lowered him down, helping him settle against the mattress on his side, a position that he knew from experience helped Casey stem any nausea he had. Casey was just breathing deeply with his eyes closed again, so Severide just ran his hand up and down his back.

After a few minutes of trying to control the nausea, Casey dragged his eyes open, seeing Kelly staring adoringly at his face, “How was the flight?”

Kelly snorted, rolling his eyes at the fact Casey was trying to ask him how he was when he was so ill, “It was fine, Case. How are you feeling?”

Matt just grimaced, sticking his tongue out slightly. Even the slight movement seemed to aggravate the nausea, though, and he whined as he held his stomach tightly. Severide just whispered reassuring words to him until he’d calmed again, brushing the blonde strands off his sweaty forehead.

“Thanks for coming, Kel…”

Severide just grinned at that, chuckling lightly as he kissed Casey on the forehead again, “Of course, baby… I love you –”

“And m’sorry.”

Severide just hummed lightly, once again running a soothing hand through Casey’s hair. Sure, he wished that Casey had called him the second he got ill, but he also didn’t blame the blonde at all. He knew how Casey worked, how he genuinely thought that he wasn’t worth the time and effort, and even if that was something that Kelly was trying to break, he knew how unyielding habit could be.

Smiling down at Casey, “It’s okay, baby… it’s okay. I know you were just trying to protect me… trying to make me happy…”

Casey’s eyes slipped shut as he uttered his next words, “You were enjoying it… you were learning do much…”

“Mmmm… I enjoy you more… and I was getting sick of it, to be honest… starting to miss you.”

One of Casey’s eyes slipped open as he peered at Severide disbelievingly, “You weren’t getting sick of it, Kel.”

Severide rolled his eyes as he sighed, “Okay… I wasn’t… but I was missing you.”

The chuckle Casey let out at that was quickly replaced with a groan, and Casey’s face once again paled a few shades. Kelly quickly held the basin in front of his face, but Casey shook his head. He didn’t want to be sick again if he could avoid it.

“Shhh… it’s okay, baby… breathe with me…”

Slowly, the breathing exercises helped Casey bring the nausea under control, but he was still just weakly slumped on the bed, curled on his side and clutching his stomach. With effort, he brought his knees up closer to his chest, rocking himself slightly as he tried to ward off the next wave of sickness, “M’okay…”

“I know you are, baby… except you’re puking your guts out.”

Casey chuckled weakly, but then closed his eyes, “Ugh… don’t talk about puke… please…”

“Hm… how about fluffy unicorns instead? Or would you prefer to talk about the best ten applications of a halligan? Think I got a few new uses we could bring back to fifty-one…”

Attempting to smile, Casey hummed, once again tightening his hand around his middle. Kelly let him rest for a few minutes, hating that he felt so awful. But he was unable to stop his curiosity from bubbling over, “What happened, Case? How’d you end up so much worse than anyone else?”

Opening his eyes again, Casey peered up at him, “Candidate cooked lunch… roast. Think he was trying to impress Boden and I… because he gave us the biggest and juiciest slabs…”

Kelly smiled, but could see how pale Casey had gone, the memory clearly not helping the nausea. Gently, he put a hand to the back of Matt’s head, fingers locating the tense muscles in his neck. Casey did his best to smile back, whispering his next words, “Don’t ever want meat again…”

Hating how miserable he sounded, Kelly smirked, hoping to cheer him up, “Hm… thought you liked… my meat…”

Casey chuckled again, blushing, but then frowned, “Ugh… Sev…”

Kelly’s smile faded as Casey curled up tighter, utterly distracted with himself as he once again tried to breathe deeply through wave after wave of nausea. Casey felt the air around his head move, and felt Kelly’s hand softly on his back, “In through the nose, out through the mouth, Matty… come on, with me…”

Casey tried, but couldn’t take another breath before a gag caught in his throat. He closed his mouth stubbornly, clenching his jaw, and felt Kelly’s arms on his shoulders, gently lifting him up, “Shhh… it’s okay, Matty… it’s okay…”

The emesis basin appeared in front of Casey’s mouth before he even had a chance to make another sound, and Matt was grateful as Kelly’s hands started skitting up and down his back. He gagged again, almost biting his tongue, but he didn’t want to be sick.

“Shhh… Matty… I know it sucks… but you’ll feel better, trust me…”

Matt groaned, one hand wrapped tightly around his stomach, the other holding the basin close to his face, still rocking himself weakly. A single tear ran down his cheek, before he was suddenly heaving violently into pink plastic Severide held in front of him.

Kelly’s hand remained on his back, lovingly stroking up and down, and even through the horrible heaving, Casey could hear Severide’s soft reassurances. He whined when he was done, and once again, Kelly slowly lowered him back to his side.

“Shhh… it’s okay, baby… it’s okay…”

Matt let out a strained sob, pulling himself into the fetal position and biting his tongue. He felt Kelly’s hands rub his back, and then a tissue come to his face, first wiping away his tears and then moving to his mouth and nose, cleaning up the mess. He could hear Severide shuffle around as he threw the tissue away, and then one hand returned to Casey’s, lightly clutching it, and the other went to his back, rubbing circles on his shoulder blades.

The feeling of Kelly so close, of Kelly protecting him almost brought tears to his eyes, and Casey couldn’t stop himself leaning into his touch. He felt slightly silly, that he was barely even ill, that food poisoning was by no means threatening, but he was just so _relieved_ that Kelly was there. He couldn’t believe that Severide was willing to sit with him through this, even though he clearly had better things to do.

“Hey… hey, Matty… none of that…”

Casey hadn’t even realised that he was crying, Kelly once again wiping his tears away calmingly. Casey stared up at him with vulnerable eyes, seeing Kelly smiling down at him. Severide knew what the tears were about, of course, he didn’t need to be told. No part of him had even considered that it was about how ill Matt was feeling. He’d known his boyfriend for a long time, “Shh… baby… shh…”

Casey swallowed, trying to get in control of his tears, “M’okay.”

Kelly hummed soothingly, pushing Casey’s hair back in the most calming manner he could manage, “I know you are… I know you are…”

Matt opened his eyes again, looking up at him with wide eyes, “You came back… from another state…”

Leaning down and placing a firm kiss to his forehead, Kelly nodded, “Of course I did… of course I did… because I love you, so much, Matty…”

Taking a shuddering breath, Casey tried to calm himself, “Thank you…”

Just humming in response, because he didn’t really need to answer that, Severide placed another firm kiss on Casey’s forehead, moving a hand so he could scratch the base of Matt’s neck.

“M’okay… Kel… M’fine…”

Severide chuckled, “Yeah, that’s why you’re curled up on your side clutching your belly…”

Casey pouted, but didn’t have the energy to mock Severide any further. Severide seemed to notice and gently put a hand on top of his head, “Couple more hours of this, baby, then you’ll be feeling better… and I’ll be with you every second.”

And that wasn’t something that Casey couldn’t complain about.


	24. Dawson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't help it... I kinda wanted to wait until Casey's birthday, but like... couldn't be bothered... 
> 
> So here it is :)

Casey stood in the kitchen, palms flat on the bench, head down. His mind was racing. He felt as though he couldn’t breathe. Everything was spinning. He felt sick. He wasn’t trying to be dramatic, but he honestly felt like the world was ending.

And he had no idea what to do.

The day had started off well enough. Usually, he’d rise early, and would go out on his run while Severide slept in. Then, he’d arrive in home just in time to see Severide dragging himself out of bed and staggering into the kitchen to make breakfast. Matt would go to have his shower, and by the time he was out, breakfast would be ready, and he and Kelly would eat together.

Then, Kelly would go out on his run and Casey would clean up.

Casey had been pestering him for a while about the risk of cramps after eating, but Severide had only rolled his eyes. He’d been running after breakfast for his whole life, and he’d never had any issue. They’d bicker about it, and then Casey would assert that he would wake him early the next morning. Then, Severide would warn him in no uncertain terms that if Casey woke him early, he would be doing bins for a week. Casey would laugh and hold his hand up in defeat, would _not_ wake him the next morning, would watch Kelly go out and eat after his run… and then it would all start again.

But that morning, it had been Casey’s birthday. He hadn’t actually said anything, so he was surprised when Severide had woken him with breakfast and singing. They’d eaten together on Casey’s bed, and Severide had even offered to do the cleaning. Casey had ended up helping anyway, because that’s the kind of person he was, but they’d both been happy and laughing as they splashed each other with the water.

But then it had all gone downhill.

Severide had disappeared to the shower, and Casey was taking the time to reply to the birthday messages he’d got from his firehouse family. He’d also listened to a nice voicemail from Christie and Violet and been surprised when his mother wished him a happy birthday.

He supposed that it was weird that it was so surprising that his mother was wishing him a happy birthday, but after her being in prison for fifteen years, he had never quite got used to the idea she now had freedom. Besides, he knew not to rely on her. She drifted in and out, her presence highly unstable at best. It was easier to not expect anything from her, stopped him feeling disappointment when she didn’t come through. Still, he took the message in his stride, allowing himself a little smile.

But that’s not what had upset him.

He was halfway through thanking the Herrmann clan – and trying to remember which belt Anabelle was in karate, because he liked to thank them each personally and he knew that the kids loved it – when his phone started ringing, and looking at the caller ID, he almost dropped it.

Lit up on the screen, as though it still belonged there, was Gabby’s name.

He’d considered deleting her number from his phone multiple times, possibly even blocking it, but he had never had the heart too. But now, seeing her number on the screen, he just felt sick.

_Why was she calling him?_

All logic and reason went out the window as he felt himself starting to tremble. He’d been going well. He’d been happy. He was moving past the hurt she’d caused him, was feeling better every day. Why did she want to destroy that?

What was she calling him for? To tell him she was coming back to Chicago? To tell him she wanted to get back together? It had only been six months, what if she was pregnant? Would it even be his kid?

Had she found another man?

Which one of those would be the worst? He couldn’t even decide.

He barely noticed as the call went to voicemail, and he leant forwards, covering his face with his hands. He didn’t want to deal with this. Not now. He never wanted to deal with this.

He’d finally been happy, finally been moving on. With each passing day, Dawson leaving hurt a little less, he could breath a little easier. He spent longer without thinking about his broken marriage. He felt less like a failure. He felt more comfortable with himself.

Severide had helped, sure. And so had Boden. Severide was always very subjective in his advice and worked well as a sounding board when Casey needed to vent. Boden had considered Gabby a child of his own, but his own divorces had allowed him to sympathise with his Captain. Even though Casey still didn’t like needing help, would still try to keep to himself for as long as possible, he often felt so much better after those conversations that it was worth it.

And everyone at the firehouse was also used to it too, had stopped walking around him like he was made of glass, had stopped staring at him whenever anyone mentioned Dawson’s name. Even Sylvie had stopped being weird around him, had started treating him like anyone else in the firehouse.

But now that was all at stake.

Because Dawson was calling and he didn’t know why.

And he couldn’t _breathe._

He didn’t even hear Severide coming back into the room, but suddenly he felt his hand on his back, rubbing it desperately as his concerned voice filtered into his ears, “Case, are you okay?”

Casey couldn’t answer, trying to hide his face deeper in his hands because there was _no way_ that Severide was going to see him cry.

“Case, what happened? Matt?”

He moaned, unable to form a sentence, and pointed at his phone. He then leant forwards, resting his forehead on one arm and covering his head with the other, aware that salty tears were dripping to the table. He could hear Severide taking his phone, looking over it and frowning, “Sorry, bud. I don’t see what’s wrong.”

He groaned, “Dawson.”

Severide frowned again. He knew that despite all of Casey’s efforts – and admittedly, all of Dawson’s – that the divorce had ended up quite bitter, and that Casey had struggled with it. He hadn’t been too sure if Dawson and Casey had been talking, had decided that it wasn’t his business. That said, he had a sneaking suspicion that the answer was no, because he thought the blonde would have mentioned it too him.

The only thing he was sure of at the moment, though, was that Casey was upset, “What did she say, Case?”

Casey moaned again, once again propping himself up and scrubbing his hands through his hair, before pressing his fingers into his eyes, “I don’t know.”

He couldn’t stop his eyebrows from shooting up, “You haven’t listened to the message?”

He shook his head, whining once again, “No.”

Severide was worried. He hadn’t realised that Casey was still this tense about Gabby. Even during their conversations, he’d got the impression that Casey had been moving on. But right now, he was wondering if the blonde had still been covering his true feelings.

And now that he thought about it, it made sense. Casey’s anxiety during those conversations had never seemed deep enough to actually warrant him actually seeking solace, because Casey hid himself no matter what.

He must have been trying to make out he was more okay than he was but had still been desperate enough to need some form of reassurance. So, all in all, a lot more stressed than he was telling them about.

 _Damn_.

Not really sure as to how to get through to his best friend, “Casey. I’m sure it’s nothing – “

Matt spun to him, glaring and throwing his hands up, “How can you know that, Sev?”

Kelly knew that it had come out way stronger than Casey had intended, that he hadn’t meant to snap.  He watched Matt as he leant forwards once again, scrubbing his face roughly with his hands and uttering an apology. Severide accepted it without a second thought, still trying to work out what to say.

“Do you have any ideas what it might be about?”

Casey just shook his head again, groaning, “I don’t know… I don’t – we haven’t talked since everything went through and…”

He was unable to hold back a sob that time, and Severide’s eyes widened in concern. Lightly, he moved forwards, trying to bring his friend into a hug.

But Casey was too agitated, and pulled away, roughly scrubbing his wrist across his eyes. He sobbed again, hating the way Dawson could still make him feel. Severide was at a loss. He was concerned that Casey was taking this so hard, and he had no idea what to do.

So, he picked up Casey’s phone, unlocked it, and tapped into the voicemail.

“Sev, no!”

But Kelly just looked at Casey as the man watched him with wide eyes, pale and trembling. Dawson’s voice and the contents of her message filtered into one ear, and Kelly did his best to remain still with his eyes on Casey. Matt still hadn’t moved when Severide finally lowered the phone, just continued to watch him in horror, terrified of what Kelly might say.

Deciding to not leave his friend in emotional agony for any longer, Severide smiled, “Casey, she’s saying happy birthday.”

Matt just froze, looking at Severide with wide eyes, “Huh?”

Grinning but trying not to come off as mocking, Severide raised the phone, “She said happy birthday, Casey. That’s all.”

Casey watched him for another moment, then giggled. The giggling quickly turned into full blown laughter, and Casey leaned against the table, laughing almost manically. Severide moved towards him, fearing that if his friend kept going, he could collapse.

And this time, Casey accepted his embrace, leaning against his shoulder as he continued to half-laugh, half-sob. Severide just rubbed his back soothingly, rocking the captain and wondering what was going through his mind. But as worrying as this reaction was, Severide could think of worse alternatives. At least Casey was in his arms, was where he could keep an eye on the blonde. He hadn’t stormed off and driven down the streets of Chicago, he hadn’t started punching holes in the walls. This was a reaction that Kelly had some control over, at least, which was very much a positive thing.

Slowly, Casey’s giggles calmed, and Severide continued to rub his back, still rocking him slightly. Casey was just breathing in his arms, and Severide had no idea whatsoever what it meant. The whole thing was so calm, he jumped when Casey next spoke, “She… she just said happy birthday?”

Severide nodded, and Casey pulled back. His face was blotchy, and his eyes were red as he stared at Severide, “And you’re not just saying that?”

Kelly shook his head, “I wouldn’t just say that, bud.”

Matt glanced down at the phone, before letting out a long, shuddering breath, “She just said happy birthday…”

Even though Casey had started crying again, Kelly could tell it was from relief. Gently, he brought Casey into another hug, allowing the blonde man to cling to him, holding on tight, not letting go.

“What did you think she was going to say, bud?”

Matt just shrugged, still holding Kelly tight, “Didn’t know what was the worst.”

Severide sighed. He wished that he was able to sympathise with Casey more. His breakup with Renee – the first Renee – had been hard, but at least he had been sure from the moment he found out about her cheating that he wanted none of her. He refused to talk to her from that second on, and though it had taken a while to get over the betrayal – who was he kidding, he’d never get over the betrayal, but at least it had started hurting less – he had never thought of taking her back, and had never had the fears that Matt did. He’d done his fair share of thinking if he could have done anything to prevent her from cheating, but he’d eventually worked out that he couldn’t have, that it was just in Renee’s nature.

Casey had relaxed against his shoulder, one of his hands clinging to his shirt. The light rocking seemed to be calming him, and Kelly wasn’t going to stop.

“But happy birthday isn’t the worst?”

It might seem stupid to someone else, but Severide had to be sure. Casey’s mind had a wonderful way of twisting things, and there was an actual chance that Dawson wishing him a happy birthday could send him into a spiral. Casey shook his head, though, and Kelly relaxed.

A couple more minutes passed of Kelly just holding his best friend, before Matt was ready to pull away, “Ugh, sorry…”

Kelly rolled his eyes, reassuring Casey that it was totally fine while keeping one hand on his back. Matt wiped his eyes down, staying close to Severide, before finally taking his phone back. Kelly knew that it wasn’t totally over, that Casey would no doubt start overthinking things again, freaking about Dawson, and now that he knew how bad it was, he wasn’t going to drop it. But for now, Casey had replied, and it was the guys birthday after all.

He’d be there when Casey needed it, but for now, he was eager to give Casey the day he deserved. 


	25. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaanndddd... once again I head back into Casey's traumatic backstory™
> 
> Enjoy, hopefully :D

Kelly Severide was good at a lot of things. He knew everything there was to know about a fire, and he knew exactly how they were going to spread. He was quick to identify the best course of action, and he knew how to keep his men safe. He was good at communicating with his men. He knew all their shortcomings and their strengths, he knew when to let them shine. He was a team player, and he knew how to maintain the dynamics between all of them.

He knew how to remain both professional and friendly, he knew how to have a good time.

Finally, he knew how to read Matt Casey.

He was able to tell when Casey was happy, when the blonde was enjoying himself. He knew when Casey was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, when he was being crushed under the weight of his own mind. He knew when Casey was hurting. He knew when Casey was sad. He knew all of it without needing to hear the blonde speak a single word, and he knew that he was one of the only people in the world with that ability.

Because if Casey wanted to hide his feelings, then it was near impossible for someone to work them out. But Severide had known Matt for ages, had supported him through more than enough to know what Matt was thinking, to know exactly how Matt’s mind was torturing himself. He probably knew Casey better than anyone else in the world, had done since the academy.

But even with all of his abilities, even with all of his experience, he was struggling to place the current expression on Casey’s face.

The blonde in question had started acting odd at the end of shift. Actually, he’d started acting odd when he’d come back from a call, slipping into his office and drawing the blinds, but at least that wasn’t completely out of the ordinary. It could be attributed to a range of things, from Matt having a headache to him just being tired. So, Kelly hadn’t been worried.

But when it came time for them to go home, Kelly had started growing concerned. Usually, the blonde in question would wait for Severide, and they’d head out together. Even if Casey had a construction gig after work, they’d wait for each other and make their way down the apron. They would talk about shift, or plans for their 48 hours off, or just walk in silence. Both things were comfortable, and both were appreciated.

But that particular shift, Matt had disappeared as quickly as he could, keeping his head down as he walked to his pick-up. Kelly knew he had a construction gig, but he also knew that it didn’t start until eleven. And he knew for a fact that Casey had already picked up the materials.

Which meant that Casey was in a rush because he didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Kelly tried not to let it bother him, even as he got a good look at the expression on Casey’s face as he disappeared into his truck. It was an expression that he was unfamiliar with, one that he didn’t think he’d seen before. It wasn’t one of the many tortured expressions he’d seen on Casey’s face over the years, but likewise, it wasn’t exactly a happy one.

And the blonde wasn’t frustrated. Or brooding… he was just… hurting.

Which worried Severide greatly. He couldn’t stop the sense of dread creeping in, because he had no idea what was going through his best buddy’s mind.

As he continued to drive home, he kept visualizing the expression on Casey’s face. He tried to take comfort in the fact his friend wasn’t at the _spinning out_ stage, but he was unable to stop thinking, even as he settled himself down to watch the Bears.

Kelly couldn’t have told you the score – in fact, he wasn’t entirely sure who else was playing – when it came to him. He had seen Casey wear that expression once before, though it had been a slight variation.

Just over a year after Hallie had died – not a year on the dot, because that day had been filled with tears and anger – on their anniversary – or what would have been their anniversary – Casey had been distracted. It was clear that he had been thinking about Hallie, and it was one of the rare occasions that he brought out her photo and put it on his desk.

And when he’d been walking to his own office, Kelly had seen Casey staring at it, eyes slightly unfocussed, mouth in a line.

He was pining.

And though this expression was slightly different, Severide knew that it was at least slightly related. It wasn’t so unbearingly sad, but Casey was definatly missing something.

_Wistful?_

Seeing that emotion on Casey struck him as strange. Severide hated himself for seeming so harsh, but he didn’t really think that the blonde had much to yearn for from his childhood. His parents had never been loving, even if Nancy put off her actions to some form of love for her son. Casey had never really experienced soft sentiment, had never really been held.

One time, when he, Casey and Darden had been extremely drunk, Casey had admitted that he’d always known something was wrong, that since kindergarten, it had been a battle to get him home and in the car. Casey had always been afraid, and not only of his dad’s drunken rage. Casey had been crying, and Severide and Darden had been so drunk they’d been in tears too.

The next morning, Casey had pretended he hadn’t said anything, and Severide had been happy to follow his lead. He suspected that Darden had said something to Matt afterwards but had never confirmed it. The truth was the admission had made him uncomfortable, and he’d never known how to handle the bit of information. It was too late to bring it up now, anyway, and the blonde had never hinted at it again.

He also knew Casey well enough to know that he wasn’t missing Hallie, and whenever he thought of Dawson, anger tended to be the prevailing emotion. This wasn’t about any of his previous relationships either.

So, what on earth was Casey thinking about?

He didn’t want to seem as though he was prying into Casey’s affairs, but he didn’t have anything planned for that day, and once he had finished his run and fixed that squeaking window – okay, he had _tried_ to fix it, but he knew he’d need Casey to look at it – he sat down on the couch and decided to relax for a while

But his thoughts kept returning to the truck captain, trying to work out what was wrong with him.

Maybe Casey had seen something on a call, but that seemed unlikely. He knew for a fact that none of the calls has been significant, and Casey had seen s lot in his time as a firefighter. If something had upset him, it was bound to have had an effect on most of truck. And if it had been something suspicious… well, Casey would have been in Boden’s office first thing.

Besides, that wasn’t the expression on his face anyway. He hadn’t seen something on a call.

Maybe something had happened to his family? He scoffed at that, though. If something had happened to Nancy, then Casey would already be sorting it. And the expression on his face would have been different. If something had happened to either Christie or Violet, then Casey would seem more upset. Plus, he wouldn’t have stayed sulking in his quarters until the end of shift. Casey knew from experience that things didn’t sort themselves out, and that he had to act if he wanted to protect himself or his family.

That didn’t leave many options. He knew that the address of the fire had been no where near where Casey had ever lived – so _that_ was out – and somehow he doubted that Casey would have had that reaction over an item – any item – that he may have seen.

Maybe Casey had just had a dream?

But what about… what could have been so bad that Casey was acting so off? Besides, it hadn’t been night when Casey had started acting off.

So that couldn’t be it either.

He shook his head, leaning back into the couch and staring up at the ceiling. He wasn’t surprised that this was affecting him so much. Now that Casey had no one to worry about him, he found himself filling in. If he didn’t know what was going on with the blonde, no one would.

He didn’t even realise how long he’d been drawing blanks, but the next thing he was aware of, was that it was dark outside. He was slightly surprised that Casey hadn’t come home, so he pulled out his phone and shot him a quick text – _Hey, you coming to Molly’s?_

He crossed over to his room, quickly pulling a shirt over his head. His phone buzzed just as he was pulling on his trusted leather jacket, and Severide glanced down – _Yeah. Gig ernt over. See you there – heading there now._

The answer was pretty non-descript, didn’t tell Severide much about anything. It wasn’t troubling, but likewise, it didn’t exactly fill him with ease. Casey rarely made mistakes in his texts, and he’d basically repeated the final sentence.

But then again, if the blonde was racing away from his gig…

Kelly shook his head. There was no point in stressing about how Casey _might_ be. He might as well just get to Molly’s.

Severide was quick enough to arrive, surprised when he saw Casey’s pick-up already parked out the front. It was shocking that the blonde had beat him there. Concern now increasing, Kelly pulled the doors open and glanced in the bar.

And the sight didn’t exactly fill him with ease. At first, he didn’t see Casey. Truck and Squad were in their usual clusters. Herrmann was at the bar, serving drinks, as peppy as ever.

But Casey was tucked away down the back.

The blonde looked to be more out of sorts than before, cradling a beer against his chest as he stared at the table. Severide frowned. Casey had never exactly enjoyed been the centre of attention, but he also didn’t confine himself in that way.

Considering the best course of action, Severide flicked his eyes over the blonde again. On one hand, if Casey wanted solitude, he would have gone to another bar. On the other, Severide felt as though he needed a drink to calm his nerves. He had a horrible feeling that this was going to be bad, and he really didn’t know how to handle it.

He was almost grateful when Squad waved him over, eager to have a drink with their lieutenant. With one more glance back at Casey, Severide joined his crew.

He had a couple of drinks as he listened to Capp talk shit, smiling at the way Cruz rolled his eyes every few seconds. But he couldn’t stop glancing back to Casey. Matt hadn’t been making much progress on his drink, mostely staring numbly at the space in front of him.

Cruz must have noticed, because mid-discussion, he turned back to Severide, “He got there before us. Don’t think anyone wants to bother him.”

Severide nodded absently, excusing himself and heading over to the bar. Herrmann was already smiling at him, but it faded as soon as Severide jerked his head over to Casey, “What time did he get here?”

Herrmann glanced over, clearly concerned, “Not long after opening…”

Kelly frowned, because it meant that Casey had lied to him in his earlier text. Herrmann seemed to pick up on his worry, because he put his head to the side, “He hadn’t been drinking too much… and he doesn’t seem… _sad._ ”

Glad that Casey had someone else looking out for him, even if it wasn’t in the full capacity, Kelly nodded, “I know… he’s… yearning…”

Considering it, Herrmann slowly nodded in agreeance.

“He was like that on the way back from the truck call.”

Glancing over to where Mouch had piped up, Severide raised an eyebrow. Mouch shrugged, “Don’t know why… it wasn’t a huge call…”

Kelly frowned, thinking that through. So, it was most likely that something on the call had affected Casey but hadn’t affected anyone else. There had to be more too it than that, “What happened?”

Mouch went on to explain that it had been some minor kitchen fire, and that they had brought the young family out before extinguishing the fire. The structure hadn’t even been comprimised, the kitchen would just need a little repair work to bring it back to full function.

It didn’t offer any explanation as to why Casey had been shaken by the call, though. By the sounds of it, the call had been boring. Mouch had been explaining something about the dry wall being high-quality and stopping the spread, when he said something that made Severide stop in his tracks.

“Sorry – what was that?”

Shrugging, “Brett was checking the kid and he was scared, so Casey was sitting with him on his lap…”

Unable to stop his eyes from widening, Severide glanced back over to Casey. Mouch had already gone back to the conversation about the dry wall, but Severide thought he had his answer.

He got Herrmann to get him another two beers before he started heading to the back, dumping himself down next to Casey and plopping one of the bottles in front of him. Matt glanced up and nodded, reaching out and taking it.

So far, so good.

They sat in silence for a moment, before Casey cleared his throat. Severide glanced across from him, seeing the same expression of longing, but also one Severide was familiar with. It was the expression that Casey wore when he wanted to talk but was too nervous to bring it up. His throat was also working to swallow back tears, and Severide knew that waiting for Casey was the best thing.

They continued to sit in silence for a moment, both pulling at their beers, when Casey cleared his throat. Severide glanced across to him, noticing Casey biting his lip.

“What’s up, Case?”

Matt glanced up at him, still seeming weary, as though the weight of the entire world rested on his shoulders. He maintained eye contact as he sipped from the bottle, before nodding as he lowered it, “What made you want to be a firefighter?”

Kelly frowned, he hadn’t been expecting _that_ , and he wasn’t even sure if he’d heard right, “Sorry?”

Casey just maintained eye contact, same matter of fact expression on his face, “What made you want to be a firefighter, Sev?”

He took a slow breath, thinking it through. They’d already had this discussion, the entire firehouse had. It had been his dream since he was a kid, he had worshipped firefighters because of his dad. But there was more to it than that, and he knew that Casey knew it.

Plus, there was no reason not to give the blonde the whole story.

“I never lied… I did want to become a firefighter because of Benny. In kindergarten… it did get me heaps of attention, the other kids thought it was cool. Andy adored Benny, and yeah, I did too…”

Severide took a breath, one hand going to the label on his bottle and scratching at it, “And yeah, when dad left… I wanted to be better than him. To stick it to him. That’s all true.”

He scratched at the label again, tearing off a huge piece and rubbing it between his fingers. Casey was watching him with curiosity, clearly giving him his full attention.

“But I did know what it would be like… you remember in the academy, every achievement I got… every time I did well… it was because I was Benny’s son. And yeah, I probably had certain advantages… but I worked my arse off, too.”

Severide was aware that compared to Casey, compared to living in utter poverty and not even feeling safe, compared to the rumors that had circulated about him and the spiteful jabs at his family, compared to being beat up by much bigger kids, he had gone through nothing. But Casey was watching him with such clarity and understanding that he realised the blonde hadn’t even thought of that.

Because Casey remembered. He remembered the time that he and Andy – though mostly Andy – had convinced Severide to stay at the Academy. When those bitter words had got through Kelly’s skin, and he’d been prepared to quit. With their help, though, Severide had managed to rise above it, and had moved past the hate of his jealous peers.

“I never even told Andy this, but I considered moving out of Illinois before I started at the Academy… going somewhere where dad wasn’t some big shot firefighter. But then I thought about it… and I didn’t want to leave Andy… but I also didn’t want to leave… family.”

Kelly cleared his throat, scratching his ear and letting out a breath. He felt Casey rubbing his shoulder lightly, and glanced up at him with teary eyes, “After Benny left and mum was… recovering… a lot of Benny’s friends looked after me. He must’ve been going through something himself, because they never said anything or judged him, but they made sure I’d been fed and I had somewhere to go… and I didn’t want to leave them.”

Hastily, he wiped at the tear that was running down his cheek, before once again looking up to Matt. Casey’s eyes were filled with understanding, and the rare form of sympathy that Severide didn’t actually mind receiving, “If I left… I felt like it would be a betrayal. Plus… I felt as though I was part of something… a family…”

Letting out something that was close to a sob, Severide gave a weak grin as he looked back up to Casey, “So yeah… part of it was sticking it to Benny… being like him… but I mean… wanting brothers, wanting to stay close to those I was already around… that was the deciding factor.”

Matt nodded, licking his bottom lip as he thought through Severide’s words. His hand was still on his back, rubbing slow circles, and Kelly found great comfort in it.

Maybe there was no shame in being honest and… vulnerable.

Clearing his throat, Severide took a quick pull of his beer, smiling when Casey followed suit. He gave the blonde a moment to swallow the beer, seeing that the blonde was still deep in thought.

“So… what made you want to be a firefighter?”

For a moment, Matt didn’t respond. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to tell Severide the truth – especially when Kelly had been so honest with him – but he didn’t know where to start. Kelly understood that and gave Matt a moment to gather his thoughts.

“It… wasn’t because they came to my school.”

Severide nodded. He’d worked out as much. He also knew that it probably wasn’t a happy story. Taking another sip of his beer, he looked Casey over. But he could see that the blonde had clammed up, frowning down at his own drink. The only reason that Casey got this upset was because of his family, and Severide knew that he often needed time to gather his thoughts.

But he also needed support, so Severide offered him a slight grin as he asked; “ _Did_ they come to your school, thought?”

It worked, because Casey snapped out of his stupor, giving him a slight smile that also spoke of his thanks, “Yeah… but quite a while after… um… I got a look, but some of the other kids were more… interested… though.”

If he wasn’t worried about discouraging Casey, Severide would have scoffed. He doubted that any of the other kids had even ended up being firefighters, and he knew that Casey was probably too shy to say anything.

Instead, he just nodded, shifting the bottle from one hand to the other as he gave Casey his full attention.

“So… I mean… I think you can guess that there’s… part of this is to do with my family…”

Matt looked uncomfortable, biting his lip as he mirrored Severide’s motion and started shifting his bottle from one hand to the other. Reassuringly, Severide put one hand on Casey’s arm, nodding and giving him a smile, “I know, bud.”

The corners of Matt’s lips turned up for a brief moment, clearly appreciating that Severide was listening, “Sometimes… when mum and dad were arguing… or… there was another… domestic dispute… well, the neighbours didn’t like them anyway, so they usually called the emergency services at the drop of a hat.”

Kelly seriously doubted that _drop of a hat_ was the right expression, but he nodded anyway. Truth be told, he hadn’t even thought about Casey’s probably extensive experience with the police and emergency services before he had even become a firefighter.

“Anyway… this particular time… mum and dad were arguing… Christie and I usually crawled under her bed, because it was bigger and had the dresser near it.”

Severide couldn’t hold back his wince, uncomfortable with the implications behind Casey’s words. But Matt wasn’t bothered about his own words, frowning as he thought through his next sentence, “It was on dinner time, and mum had been cooking something. She’d left it on the stove and it started burning. Not really sure what happened first, but the CFD turned up, even though it wasn’t a big fire.”

Casey took a breath, frowning once again as he looked at the lip of his bottle. Slowly, he took another sip, pushing the liquid through his mouth, “Anyway. There was smoke… but obviously no danger. The firefighters came in to get us, and Christie went with the pretty quick.”

Matt had trailed off again, starting down at his drink with some trauma. He was aware that much of Molly’s was trying to listen to them, trying to be discreet without succeeding.

Casting a quick glance around the room – but knowing that it wouldn’t do much to stop everyone listening – Kelly gave his friend an understanding look, “That would have been scary.”

Casey nodded absently, apparently unaware of their audience, “So… yeah, one of the firefighters needed to crawl under the bed and get me… then the poor guy had to carry me out… and I wouldn’t let go of him.”

For a moment, Severide considered how massive it was for Casey to be saying all this, to be admitting it. His heart was going out to him, it really was, and he knew that Casey wasn’t even halfway through his story.

“Anyway… so this poor firefighter ended up sitting on the back of the ambo while the paramedics checked me out… I was fine, so was Christie… but I wouldn’t let this poor firefighter go…”

This time, Molly’s was totally silent, and Severide didn’t even bother trying to get everyone to stop listening. Casey had tears in his eyes as he frowned, biting his lip once again, “I, uh… I’d never felt so safe… and –”

Matt’s throat became tight as he let out a sob, looking away from Severide as he tried to collect himself. Kelly felt as though he’d been stabbed in the gut. Casey saying that he’d never felt safe before some random firefighter really cut through him, really made him want to do nothing more than hug the blonde tightly. Before he got the opportunity, though, Casey had let out a shaky laugh as he scrubbed a hand over his face, “Anyway, the other firefighters had finished overhaul… not that there was much in the way of overhaul… and they came over. Mum and dad were still talking to CPD, so they stayed, kept talking to me…”

At least the blonde was smiling now, the expression that had been torturing Severide all day once again washing over his face, a light smile, the same longing in his eyes, “Anyway… I felt really safe… and I wanted to be like them… I wanted to be brave… not to be scared in the same way I had been…”

Severide was really having a hard time not hugging the blonde now. Tears were streaming down Casey’s face, but he was smiling, “The firefighters were all telling me stories… and the one who was holding me told me he had a son just about my age.”

The smile had crossed over Casey’s face once again, and Severide couldn’t help but mirror it. Casey’s words had gone over his head, but it was just nice to see the blonde remembering positive memories.

But there was clearly something else that Casey wanted to say, “Kel… I lived in Grand Crossing…”

Momentarily, Kelly frowned, not quite understanding what Casey meant by that. But the captain was now watching him with intensity, and Kelly wracked his brain for what he should be thinking.

“Kel… it was Squad Four who responded to the incident…”

Severide nodded once again, eyes flicking back and forth as he processed it.

Then, he it dawned on him.

“Kelly… the firefighter who was holding me? That was Benny.”

His eyes widening, mouth dropping open in shock, Severide processed Matt’s words. He felt as though the air had been punched from his lungs, looking Casey over as he processed the blondes face, the honesty and raw vulnerability in his features.

Matt was having a hard time not tearing up as he waited for Kelly’s response. It had been something he’d wanted to tell him for ages but had never had the nerve. But now, it was out in the open.

That still didn’t stop him crying in relief as Severide pulled him in, hugging him tight and not letting go for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhh... hope you enjoyed XD
> 
> Wasn't really happy with the title tbh but oh well XD


	26. Sunflowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this one's a real short one...

It was midday when Casey got back from his construction gig. It had only meant to be a quote, but as Casey had inspected Old Man Patterson’s roof, he’d realised that the small hole was a lot bigger than the veteran had originally thought. There was a storm on the horizon, and Matt didn’t want the issue to get any worse, nor for the man to have to deal with the water it was bound to let in.

He'd fixed the hole in no time, requiring only the most basic materials that Matt always had an excess of. He'd then had to refuse the extra money that Patterson had offered him, trying to reason that he wouldn't have done anything else that day anyway, and that it had been an easy repair. Patterson had been desperate to reward Casey for inconveniencing him, though, and after Matt had told him that the materials were getting old and he would've thrown them out in a couple of weeks anyway, the man had agreed to give Casey the lower amount that he'd asked for, though had sent Matt away with a very stale packet of cookies that the blonde was never going to eat. 

Completing his usual ritual of removing his boots outside – even though it meant his socks got wet – and banging them off so he wouldn’t trek dust into Severide’s apartment, Casey used his key to open the door, looking up to see Severide dressed in nice black clothes. Casey didn’t notice his expression, distracted by the large bunch of sunflowers on the table.

They were immaculately prepared, and looked healthy, alive. Not thinking about the disparity between the clothes that Severide was wearing and the life in the flowers, Casey smirked, winking at Severide as he uttered, “Who are you trying to impress tonight, Sevvy?”

Kelly just blinked sadly, not saying anything for a moment. Casey paused, only then noticing Kelly’s expression, “Sev?”

Glancing up, the light caught Severide’s eyes and Casey finally saw the sheen of tears. Subconsciously, Severide touched the flowers, drawing them to himself, “They’re for Anna.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to remember Anna saying something about sunflowers and being alive (?) though it could have been another fic... I think I spent a couple of hours zooming back and forth between season 5 episodes but I couldn't find it XD 
> 
> Maybe I'm just dreaming XP


	27. Pneumonia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

When Casey had first come down with the cold, neither he nor Severide had thought it was a big deal. Casey was sore, tired and lethargic, coughing up a storm, but it had given him time to get ahead on the repairs that needed doing around their house – even though Severide had preferred he rested. When Casey’s cough didn’t ease and developed into a constant, painful hacking, as well as a mild fever, Severide at least convinced him to lie down and rest, making sure he was as comfortable as possible and keeping tabs on him while he was at work. Casey had been making an effort to not seem as tired as he was and was doing his best to look after himself as he remained in Severide’s over sized jumper.

But the hacking didn’t ease, and Casey’s fever rose, leaving him with no energy whatsoever. Severide convinced him to go to the doctor, bundling a winter coat over the jumper and flinging a scarf around his neck. Casey had felt ill enough that he’d laid his head on Severide’s shoulder while they waited, ignoring the uncomfortable looks he got each time he broke out coughing but the clinic had been so packed with flu patients that they’d ended up being sent away with a stronger prescription for cough medicine, much to Severide’s annoyance.

He'd only agreed to go to his next shift because Casey had begged him too, and he’d set him up on the couch, extra blankets right at the end, pillows, drink, food – anything Casey would need over the next twenty-four hours. He’d called him every two hours when he couldn’t get away from the house and had checked that Casey had each of his meals. He made him check his temperature, update him on exactly how he was feeling, and how much he was drinking. Matt had seemed exhausted and had admitted he hadn’t done much other than sleep, but his fever was hovering just under the 102 mark – which was enough to make him feel awful, but not enough to put him in danger. Kelly hated that Matt was hurting and alone, but the fact that he was okay allowed him a breath of relief.

So, when Severide had come home from shift to find Casey curled up on the couch, shaking with chills and barely able to breathe, he’d been more than shocked. He loaded him into the car and driven him straight to the emergency room, despite his husband’s slurred protests.

Casey had been so feverish that he’d barely been able to answer the nurse’s questions, and Severide had to sub in all the information he knew. Kelly had been torn about the onset of Casey’s symptoms, not knowing to what extent Casey had been downplaying his symptoms and what had been Casey actually deteriorating. He knew it was probably a mix of both. Matt hated worrying him, but he was also EMT certified and highly intelligent. If Casey had known he was in danger, he would have done something about it. Done whatever brought the least amount of attention to himself, sure, but he would have done something.

When the saline and acetaminophen Casey’s fever slowly came down, and his agitation also diminished. He was slightly annoyed about ending up in the ED, and Severide had barely managed to conceal his own worry and frustration as he pointed out that the only reason Casey wasn’t still delirious was because he was getting an IV. Matt had then relented and curled up in Severide’s arms, burying his face in his shoulder and confirming to everyone around how ill he truly was.

Casey had admitted that he’d deteriorated suddenly and without warning. Some part of Severide had been reassured by that, relieved that he hadn’t neglected his boy. But he quickly slapped himself. Casey was still unbelievably ill without explanation, and both he and Casey being innocent in how ill he’d become didn’t make a difference. Matt was still suffering.

And he was still slightly out of it, enough that they determined he couldn’t be capable of his own medical decisions and that Kelly, as his proxy, would have to sub in. So, when Casey started claiming he just had the flu and didn’t need any medications, Kelly had rolled his eyes and shaken his head. They insisted on doing blood work and an x-ray, and Kelly was relieved that they did, because they found that Casey had a relatively severe double pneumonia infection. The doctors had been amazed at how long Casey had gone without complaining, but Severide had just shook his head sadly and stated that it was just how Casey was.

A mask was fitted to his face, and they started him on a course of IV anti-biotics before they’d even got him a bed on the infectious diseases ward. Casey had seemed resigned, closing his eyes and leaning back into Severide’s hold, trying to hide away from the world. He was covered in sweat, was beyond pale and his eyes were like a raccoon's. Severide didn’t need to ask to know how awful he was feeling.

Four hours later, Casey fell into a coughing fit that had him gagging and struggling to take a single breath. Multiple nurses had filled the room, Casey feeling very much overcrowded as the nebulizer was shoved over his mouth. His head felt as though it was about to explode, and his entire body felt as though it was in a furnace, the sheer heat almost making him sick. And he was so dizzy from it all, that he was pretty sure the only thing stopping him from floating away was Severide’s strong arms.

He’d broken down crying after that – which didn’t help his sats – and Severide had hugged him and tried soothing him, whispering words of comfort over and over again, kissing away the pain and just _being there_ for the blonde.

As Casey had sobbed brokenly into his arms, they decided to change the anti-biotics to a more aggressive course. They had more hard-hitting side effects, none of which sounded pleasant at all, but they were necessary for Matt to fight off the infection.

Since then, Matt had just slept in Kelly’s arms, Kelly having adjusted himself to prioritize Casey’s comfort. The only time he moved was when Matt coughed, and that was only to clap him on the back before leaning him back against him. The blonde had been so exhausted that he didn’t even make an effort to act alright, content to just sleep beside Severide as the man continued to look after him.

Casey had spent his lucid hours coughing his lungs out and clinging to his boyfriend, and his delirious ones slurring words of love. His voice was almost gone, though, and Kelly had found himself doing anything he could to stop the blonde speaking.

It had gone without saying that Boden had called in a replacement Lieutenant for Severide until Casey was better, and someone from fifty-one was always waiting in the waiting room, there in case Severide needed anything and to keep everyone else updated. Kelly was grateful for that, but it didn’t mean he was going to let anyone else see Casey. The blonde hated to be stared at, let alone when he was feeling so horrible.

Almost two days passed before there was a suitable improvement. Kelly was half-asleep when he felt Casey stir beside him, and worried that the blonde was in pain, was immediately upright. Casey only smirked at him, though, his eyes still bright with fever but no longer unfocused with delirium. Kelly couldn’t stop the relieved grin that came across his lips, leaning down so Casey didn’t have to strain his neck to see him.

“Hey, Kel.”

Casey’s voice was so hoarse that Kelly had trouble hearing him, and judging by the blonde’s wince, it had hurt even worse. Kelly quickly took the cup and straw that had been sitting on the bedside table, caringly feeding it into Casey’s chapped lips and smiling as he sipped at it, “Don’t talk, baby. Rest your voice…”

Casey blinked tiredly, frowning slightly. He felt awful, his throat was killing him, and his chest felt no better. His head hurt as well, and he felt as though he didn’t have an ounce of strength in his body. Kelly looked awful too, and that gave Casey the impression that he’d been in hospital for more than a few hours.

Severide knew him so well, that he didn’t even have to ask to know what was going through the blonde’s mind, “You’re okay. You’ve been here for three days, you have pneumonia. You’re kicking it’s butt, though… although it got a few rounds in first…”

Smirking lightly at Severide’s analogy, Casey felt his body relax slightly into the mattress. There was one other thing he wanted to know, though, something that he knew was coming, because Kelly knew him and Kelly cared and Kelly wanted him to rest…

“I’m fine. Everyone else is fine.”

The sleepy smile took over Casey’s face as he lost the battle with keeping his eyes open, and Kelly’s hand returned to his head as he once again drifted off.

* * *

Severide made sure that the scarf was settled around Casey’s neck, and that his heavy coat was wrapped around his shoulders. The blonde was already sitting in the wheelchair, ready for discharge. Kelly knew that Matt probably wanted to be walking, but he hadn’t even put up much of a fight. Matt might be bullheaded, but he had barely been able to walk the short distance to the bathroom that morning, and even he knew that trying to make it to the car wasn’t a good idea.

He’d remained on the infectious diseases ward with his anti-biotic drip for the past four days, making it an entire week since his admission. He was still exhausted, with hardly any energy, but there was a markable improvement from how he’d been. Casey was now smiling at Severide’s jokes, doing his best to be polite to the nurses as he weakly lay back in the bed. He’d even accepted an – albeit brief – visit from the firehouse, though he’d fell asleep halfway through. Kelly knew the weakness was to be expected, but it didn’t stop him worrying about his boy.

Securing a beanie over Casey’s sweat mattered hair – he’d still been too weak for a proper shower, but Severide had plans on running him a bath once they got home – Kelly leant down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He felt Casey shift slightly, reaching up a hand and securing it around Kelly’s. Severide could only grin at that, tightening his grasp on Matt and wrapping a firm arm around his shoulders.

“M’alright, Kel.”

Shushing him quietly, Severide nodded. Casey’s voice may have been audible, now, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t extremely weak and painful.

“Ready to go home, baby?”

Casey nodded, breathing a small sigh of relief. He was still terrified of the coughing fits, though he knew that he needed to get the gunk out of his lungs. Severide’s hand gripped the handles on the wheelchair, and Casey allowed his head to drop to the side, resting against Severide’s warmth.

* * *

After getting home, Casey had been zapped of the little remaining energy he had. But he’d refused to go to the bedroom as Severide had insisted. Damned if he had left one bed to be stuck in another. His mind was still as fuzzy as anything, so he’d been proud of himself when he thought of arguing that if he were on the couch, Kelly could keep a closer eye on him. Severide had then conceded, though he didn’t tell Casey that he was only agreeing so the blonde would rest. He’d then set him up, wrapping blankets around him and putting a wet towel to his forehead. Matt had peered up at him in adoration, smirking and enjoying every moment of being loved.

Severide had then moved back into the kitchen. Everything had been left a total mess during Casey’s illness, and it had become worse during his hospital stay. Cindy may have filled the fridge and got a start on the dishes, but she hadn’t known the severity of the situation.

He was still at his side every single time that Casey coughed, though, sitting him up and comforting him as he coaxed more lemon and ginger tea into the blonde. He knew that there was little he could do to make the blonde feel better, to ease the worst of the pain, but he also knew that his care was helping his boy in a way that couldn’t be substituted.

Matt had still slept for most of the day, though, only waking up when Severide had roused him for the next dose of his medications. Severide had crushed up the tablets to make them easier to swallow, and was glad that he had, because during those times Casey had been a little more than half asleep. Kelly didn’t mind, though, and had just wrapped a firm arm around Casey’s shoulder to keep him comfortably upright.

Matt had then drifted off in his arms, relaxing at the feel of Kelly combing his hair back, scratching his scalp soothingly and holding his hand.

And he cared for Casey every minute after that, holding him during the coughing fits, cooling his fever with wet cloths. Casey was ecstatic despite being ill, because he’d never been cared for in that way. They spent every moment together, slowly building up to short walks as Casey slowly but surely recovered.

Only when Casey had had no fever for forty-eight hours and Severide was sure he could fend for himself did Kelly go back to shift. Casey continued to build up his strength by finishing off the jobs around the house.

So, by the time he returned to shift, he was ready to go.


	28. Marshmallows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I hate that I didn't update earlier... ended up in the hospital, and though I had my laptop with me, was more or less unable to write (which annoys me so much!). 
> 
> This one's fairly old to be honest... but I went through and re-hashed a few moments (plus added more whump lmao).

“Mayday, mayday. Casey’s down, Chief. Fell through the floor.”

Severide didn’t even register who had said the words, he didn’t care. A rush of adrenaline took over all his rational thoughts. Matty was in danger. Matty was hurt.

Matty was in pain.

He was barely aware of what was going on around him – he was sure he was going to get a reprimand from the chief for _something_ – and was on autopilot as he made his way down to the basement. He felt as though he was in a trance as he watched Otis point through the hole, and he was rough with his men as he pulled his harness on.

Everyone had understood, though. It was Matt.

Kelly was down in the basement in no time, paying little regard to himself as he made his way through the debris to get to Matt. Casey was sprawled out on his back, unmoving, PASS alarm blaring. A beam was lying across his right arm, and Severide could already see that the beam would need to be cut up in order to remove it. Not caring that his voice was louder than it should be, he told Cruz to bring the Sawzall, still making his way to Casey.

Other than the beam, Matt’s body was surprisingly free of rubble. And as much as that eased some of the anxiety, Severide also knew that it meant Casey was unconscious – and there was no way of knowing if he’d just passed out from pain, or if his blonde had sustained another head injury.

“Matty? Matty?”

Severide could hear the fear in his own voice as he arrived at Casey’s side, kneeling over to see that the blonde’s eyes were closed, and his face was pale. There was no evidence of head trauma, and Severide allowed himself a breath of relief as his clenched fist shot to Casey’s sternum, “Case? Matty, baby… please…”

Casey moaned at the pressure, head shifting towards Severide as his body responded. Kelly’s joy was short-lived, though, because he felt his heart tear in two as Casey continued moving, putting weight on his injured arm and screaming out in utter agony.

Before he even considered the surrounding danger, Severide knelt closer to Casey, carefully kneeling over his chest without putting any weight on him and squeezing his shoulder, “Shhh… Case… Matty…”

Very slowly, Casey’s eyes slipped open, teary as they searched for Severide. Kelly quickly moved into his eyeline, doing his best to offer an encouraging smile through his mask as his arm found Matt’s good arm, “It’s okay… Case. We got you…”

Recognition shone in Casey’s features, even as his eyes started to lose focus from the pain. Severide glanced across his prone form so see Cruz coming over, holding the Sawzall. He could also see Capp being lowered down and relaxed with the knowledge that help was close.

“Mm’k… m’kay…”

Severide chuckled, putting his hand on Casey’s good shoulder and squeezing again. He wanted to kiss him, but they were both wearing masks and he couldn’t exactly take them off, “Easy, Case. S’okay…”

Pained pants kept leaving Casey’s chest, and Severide was starting to worry that he had more than just a broken arm.

“Capp, Cruz, work on stabilizing that beam. I don’t want it shifting further onto Casey.”

Both men nodded, knowing not to question their lieutenant when he was in this mood. They were also worried about their Captain. Casey hadn’t done anything to insist he was fine, and he was barely moving. Kelly had already turned his PASS alarm off, and the silence was chilling.

They continued to work in silence, Severide keeping a constant eye on his awareness. Matt’s eyes had glazed over again, but they still bore into Kelly’s.  Severide did his best to remain calm for him, even though he was starting to get more and more worried the longer it took.

“Lieutenant? We’re ready to cut it.”

Kelly jumped, only just realising that he’d been paying no attention whatsoever to his men. They were both professionals, though, and he knew that they’d have done a good job, “Okay… okay, just a second.”

He leant over Matt again, giving him his best reassuring smile and speaking gently, “Hey, Case? We’re going to get you out of here… we’re gonna get you out of here…”

Casey blinked tiredly but gave no other response. Severide leant over him again, bringing him into a restraint position that somewhat resembled a hug. Casey didn’t even react to his hold, and Severide hated himself as he nodded at Cruz.

The sound of the Sawzall filled the space, and Casey whined as the noise made his head throb even worse. Severide winced with the knowledge that he’d soon be doing more than whining, and caringly braced his hands on Casey’s shoulders. He watched cautiously as the saw came in contact with the beam, and almost immeaditely, Casey started struggling, trying to sit up as ragged screams left his throat.

“I’m sorry, baby… I’m so sorry…”

Casey let out another heartbreaking yell, legs kicking out as he tried to protect himself. On one hand, Severide was glad that he could move his legs. On the other, he was now lying virtually on top of him.

He kept soothing him, tears pricking his own eyes as Casey continued to yell, “S’okay, baby… s’okay…”

The sounds of the Sawzall faded, as did Matt’s cries. The blonde went totally limp, eyes closed as he continued heaving in labored breaths. Severide knew he was still awake, though. Which broke his heart.

“We’ve almost got you out of here… just another minute, baby…”

Casey’s glassy eyes opened once again, and he peered up at his boyfriend. And as much as Casey’s entire body was hurting, as much as his head was _aching_ , he couldn’t stand seeing his boyfriend look so upset.

But as he tried to think of something clever to say, something that might make Kelly feel even slightly better, he realised he wasn’t capable of clear thought. He also thought that time was jumping, because he couldn’t remember the c-collar being secured around his neck.

“Matty… hey, baby… hold my hand, okay? We’re taking the beam off now…”

Feeling Severide’s hand grasp his, he automatically squeezed. The motion comforted him, but that didn’t stop the piercing scream as the beam was removed from his arm. Then, he passed out. And Severide felt as though he was going to pass out as well when he saw his arm. The blood that had been hidden by the beam became jarringly obvious, and it was clear that it wasn’t even close to being straight. He couldn’t do much about it now, though, and watched as Cruz secured the bright yellow splint around it.

If the blonde had been pale before, then Severide had no idea how to describe him now. His face was ashen and grey, his eyes red from the pain. His face was drenched in sweat, and Kelly had rarely seen him looking so awful. He only looked away from Casey for a second, seeing that the backboard and stokes basket were ready for his body.

“Matt… Matty, I’m so sorry. This is going to hurt.”

Matt must’ve been less out of it than he thought, because he nodded marginally and grunted. Severide tried to ignore the way the grunt turned into a whine at the end, and he squeezed his shoulder once again before leaning over the blonde and securing his shoulders.

“One… two… _three_ …”

Severide had to hold Casey firmly in his arms as the force of his scream sent him writhing around. He couldn’t help but kick out again, getting Kelly firmly in the stomach. Kelly grunted, but just continued to rub his chest soothingly as he tried to calm him.

It wasn’t until they were lifting the backboard into the stokes basket that Casey realised what was happening, and he stared across to Severide as he slurred out, “Can… walk, Kel…”

Severide just smiled, squeezing Matt’s shoulder again, “No. No, you can’t, Case.”

Before Matt even got a chance to respond – though, Kelly also suspected that he wasn’t going to – Kelly got the signal that Matt was ready to be lifted. He nodded, watching as Matt was hoisted to safety.

* * *

Kelly had almost worn a hole in the waiting room floor, having been alternating between pacing and sitting restlessly since he’d been brought in. Once Matt had been brought out of the basement, he’d been brought straight to the ambo, and Sylvie had started assessing him. By the time Kelly was out, 61 was tearing towards the road with the sirens on.

Boden had allowed him to go straight to med. He wasn’t going to make Kelly stay for something as remedial as overhaul. Kelly had been impatient, snapping at Cruz and calling him incompetent when he got caught at a traffic light, but they’d soon arrived at Med. Severide had barely waited for the rig to stop before he was jumping down, running straight into the waiting room.

Brett had been reassuring, telling Severide that though his arm was badly broken, Casey had been aware in the ambulance. Then she’d dosed him on morphine and Casey had lost touch with reality for a bit, his only concern been if Kelly was okay.

Then they’d arrived at Med and all Brett knew past that was that Casey was stable and that Halstead was assessing him.

Severide blew a breath through his lips, and sat down, cracking his knuckles and running a hand over his head. He knew that everyone was watching him in concern, but in that moment, he didn’t give a shit.

“Family of Matthew Casey?”

Severide glanced up, seeing a very uncertain intern looking around the room. Anxiety stirred, because he didn’t understand why this young kid was talking to him when Matt was hurt. Where was his doctor? Had Matt been rushed straight into surgery? Was there more damage than just his arm?

Was it his head?

But before the intern gave him any more information, Halstead stepped out, giving the intern a slightly irritated look as he apologised, “Sorry about that. Matt’s fine – he’s aware and understanding what’s going on around him. The worst of his injuries was his broken arm – which he’ll need surgery to pin but will make a full recovery from. He did loose a fair bit of blood, but we’ve only given him one unit and he’s doing well. Other than that, he has a mild concussion and some bruising.”

It was anti-climactic, and definitely much better than it could have been, but Severide still didn’t think that list necessitated his boy as ‘fine’.

“Can I see him?”

Halstead nodded, “We had him lined up to go into surgery, but someone else came in and he got dinged. He’s been asking for you, Kelly.”

The surge of annoyance that someone else had been given priority – even though he logically knew that someone’s critical injuries should be given preference than Casey’s superficial ones – was overrun by Halstead’s final words. Getting to his feet, he followed Halstead down the hall.

* * *

Halstead took Severide through to pre-op. Apparently, Casey had already been given some pre-op drugs, and was groggy as hell. But he was still awake, and as his eyes found Severide’s he gave him the biggest smile, “Kel.”

Kelly grinned down at him. He was worried. Casey looked as pale as anything and the bruises were settling in. His eyes were red-rimmed – Severide just hoped it wasn’t from him crying – and his arm was still splinted, bright yellow plastic resting across his body.  

But at least Matt didn’t seem to be in any pain.

He leant over him, making an effort to keep smiling and be light, “Hey, Matty.”

Maybe he was less discreet than intended, or maybe his boy just knew him really, _really_ well, because Casey shifted as he looked up at him, “M’kay, Kel. Don’ worry.”

Severide smiled, knowing that even though there was nothing that Matt could do to really reassure him, there was no point in worrying him, “I know, Case. You’re fine.”

Matt nodded, slightly, eyes closing. Severide quickly glanced over to where a nurse was standing, pointing down to Matt then feigning sleep. She nodded, and Kelly smiled down at him as Matt drifted off, fueled by drugs and exhaustion.

* * *

“Mr. Casey? Matt? Matt?”

Casey groaned as consciousness came back to him. Everything was fleeting, air strangely light, and it felt as though he was floating.

No, not floating… not floating, but… lying in a bed of marshmallows.

Marshmallows.

He snorted.

He hated marshmallows.

He liked their texture, but not their flavor. They were too sweet.

Unless it was part of one of the smores Kel made. Then he liked them.

But then he liked an awful lot about Kelly. He liked how loving he was, how caring… how fit… how…

He heard a chuckle overhead and felt something on his chest again.

“Matt. Mr. Casey? Can you open your eyes for me?”

He moaned slightly, knowing it was rude to ignore someone who was calling him. But he liked his marshmallow cocoon.

“Matt. Matt. Can you open your eyes?”

He groaned softly, but he didn’t want to seem impolite. Slowly, he dragged his eyes open, taking in his surrounds. Everything was muted and fuzzy, the colours all off, and he squinted at the brightness as he sluggishly glanced around.

The face of a nurse was leaning over him, saying words that his brain didn’t quite process.

Because he was distracted by how she looked like a marshmallow.

But wasn’t the bed a marshmallow? Or maybe…

_Huh?_

He must’ve slurred something out, because the next thing she was chuckling, “You’ve had quite a bit of morphine, Matt. Don’t worry, everything went well – you’ll be moved to a room, soon.”

He squinted trying to work out what he’d said.

But before he could he’d closed his eyes again.

* * *

This time he woke up with Severide by his side, holding his left hand. He could feel that his right was in a cast, heavy and weighed down.

He groaned.

The sound caused Severide to stir beside him, and Kelly was quickly leaning over him and assessing his face, “Hey, baby. Welcome back.”

Matt blinked up at him, eyes crinkling as he frowned, “Wha’?”

Just smiling reassuringly in responce, “You had surgery to fix your arm. You’ve been asleep.”

_Oh._

He nodded. Kelly brushed his hair back and gently stroking the back of his left hand, “How are you feeling?”

The question seemed like a lot, and Matt just blinked. Severide realised and amended himself, “Are you in pain?”

Pain? Pain was bad. And how could anything be bad when Kelly was around?

He shook his head.

“Good. That’s great, Matty. Although, they said you’d had quite a bit of morphine, so… are you tired?”

That one was a yes. He thought. Maybe? Yes, he was tired, but a good tired… he knew there was a word for it, but he couldn’t think of it. Con… cont – ten? He didn’t know.

Severide just hummed again, drawing his attention from where Casey seemed to be absently staring at his shoulder, “Matty, are you tired?”

Voice more of a slur than anything else, “Mmmm…. Good tired.”

He could see Kelly grin once again, relieved, “Fantastic, Matt.”

Matt had already lost interest in that, though, because Kelly had said something earlier that he’d worried about. It had been something about… about… what was it? Something about not being in pain… something that had made him wonder about… about drugs… yes, drugs… what was it? Morphine?

“’m on morphine?”

If Kelly was surprised about the question, he didn’t show it, “Yeah, Matty. You were saying some pretty funny things to the post-op nurse.”

Casey frowned, not understanding what that meant. What had he been talking about? He knew that he talked about Kelly an awful lot… He hadn’t… no… he hadn’t…

He was numbly aware of the heart monitor dinging as he tried to push himself up, and pain spiked through his arm, “Woah, woah, Matty… s’okay.”

But it wasn’t okay. Had he really talked about sex with the nurse? Had he talked about Kelly’s… he knew that he’d been _thinking_ about it.

Severide’s arms were wrapped around him, trying to calm him and get him lying back down, “Matty… Matty! It’s okay… Matty! You were talking about marshmallows… Matt!”

But Matt was blindly panicking now, the effects of the morphine ebbing away from adrenaline. Pain became apparent, and Casey couldn’t stop his cry as he flopped back. He wasn’t aware of the conversation anymore, wasn’t aware of what had even upset him.

“Matty! Matt, stop… calm down… it’s okay…”

Casey stopped, but only because his arm was now hurting too much to keep going. Kelly had already hit the call button. Before, he’d been annoyed when they’d wanted to keep Matt overnight, but now he realised he needed it.

They gave Matt another dose of painkillers as well as a mild sedative, and he tiredly slumped back into the mattress, bringing his broken arm to his chest. Kelly was almost relieved. It was hard enough to see his blonde drugged, but drugged, panicking and in pain? It had been almost impossible.

He sat beside his boy until he’d drifted off, stroking a hand through his hair. Casey seemed to be at peace, curled protectively around his broken arm. It did mean he was curled away from Severide, but Kelly knew that it wasn’t Matt’s intention. Besides, the cast was still warm, and Matt always clung to warm things when he was feeling shitty. 

He kept a hand on Matt’s good shoulder, eventually putting his head down beside him and falling asleep.

* * *

The night had passed without event, Matt sleeping peacefully. He’d woken in pain, but it was expected as he’d already been taken off the morphine now that oral painkillers sufficed. They weren’t worried about the concussion, and so far, Matt had only experienced some nausea and confusion – which could also be attributed to the painkillers he was on.  

The blonde had just seemed tired, and Severide knew that he wouldn’t be able to relax until he was home. Casey would relax in Severide’s grip when he was unwell, and enjoyed the feeling of him beside him, but he also liked to maintain his independence. He didn’t like others looking at him, or pitying him, so he was ready to hide away in the apartment.

He’d managed a little breakfast, allowing Severide to feed him when he’d realised that he couldn’t. Kelly had just finished helping Matt get dressed – which was more of a challenge than either of them had anticipated, Kelly having to strip of his jumper when Casey couldn’t fit his cast through the armhole – and had just secured his arm in a sling when a nurse entered with a wheelchair.

Casey eyed it warily. He could stand – was doing so without any issue – and he’d already walked to and from the bathroom. Severide clocked his look and shook his head, “Hey, Case? I know that you want to walk… but this will be less painful. I don’t want you to be in pain. Please?”

He glanced up at him for a moment, before nodding. Severide still stood by his side as he lowered himself into the chair, not wanting Matt to jolt himself and cause himself more pain. As it was, he could see that Matt was clenching his fist, trying his best to ward off the pain. Kelly felt a pang of sympathy. Broken bones hurt like a bitch. And as much as Casey was trying to remain cheerful, he didn’t have much energy left.

So, Severide put on a goofy face as he leant over the chair, “Next stop on the wheelchair express… home.”

Casey smiled sleepily. Home sounded good right now. Home… his own couch… Kelly and his bed…

Kelly moved slowly through the halls, knowing that Casey wouldn’t complain if he was nauseous. Casey’s eyes were almost shut when they arrived at the car, and Kelly did his belt up as the blonde leant back. He’d seen the bruises and had already decided that he’d run him a warm bath once they got home. At least, he would once he’d worked out how to cover the cast.

Matt napped on the way home, waking when Severide gently shook his shoulder. He got him settled on the couch, propping his arm up on a pile of pillows, before planting a kiss to his forehead and dashing over to the kitchen. He’d ordered take-away, because he didn’t want to leave him alone for long enough to cook, but he also knew what else would cheer him up.

Walking back to his blonde baby, Severide chuckled at the sight. Matt had drawn the blankets to his chin and was smiling tiredly at him. He sat down beside him, carefully wrapping an arm around his shoulders and kissing the top of his head. Casey leant into the kiss, snuffling happily as Severide continued to hold him.

“What’s that, Kel?”

Severide smirked, lightly reaching across and taking the mug. Casey knew the smell of hot chocolate, and grinned as he reached out with his left hand. Severide made sure he had a good hold on it, before watching as the blonde brought it to his face.

And grinned.

Floating in the mug, was two little marshmallows.  


End file.
